Speech by Alan Hunter

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Alan Hunter
Speech Date: sep 2004

Father of the Bride's Speech – Wedding of Vikki and John, 18th November 2003, Bentota Beach Hotel, Bentota, Sri Lanka and Reception 5th December 2003, Blackpool Hilton.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, can I welcome you formally to Vikki and John's reception, here at the Hilton, Blackpool's premier hotel (I have to say that, the manager is here as a guest!). I must begin with apologies to the wedding party as you've already heard this speech before and will have to squirm through it again! Perhaps it gets better the second time!

Good afternoon/evening, everyone. I'm only going to make this a short speech because of my throat. If I embarrass Vikki too much she said she would cut it! I'll also bear in mind the ABC and XYZ of public speaking: Always Be Confident, and Examine Your Zip!

Anyway, on behalf of my wife Barbara and myself and Ann may I thank you all for coming here today to take part in this happy occasion. Whilst very happy, it's also tinged with sadness as I never like giving anything away! It's also a very rare opportunity in giving this speech to get the first word in, and to speak uninterrupted, before Vikki.

I would like to thank some people for their invaluable help:
First, Ross. He didn't manage to get John on a stag night, but he did manage to get him up, dressed and here/to the wedding! Thanks also for volunteering to take our wedding clobber home with you and having it cleaned and ironed for us for the reception! It's also the Best Man's responsibility to ensure the hired gear is returned intact. John's agreed with Apparel that will be by 9am the day after the reception. That's OK isn't it?
Penny, next. She's not only been an able Maid of Honour and Chief Bridesmaid, she's been an excellent shoulder for Vikki to lean on through the year.
Dan. We're not sure what his official title is here! Usher sounds better than PageBoy, don't you think? But he was the perfect chaperone to the two mothers. Again he has been a source of great support to Vikki, and she owes him special thanks – for not allowing John to drown himself when jetskiing!
Now turning to Ann, who could have been forgiven for thinking that the season just finished at the hotel would have been a comparatively easy one as she prepared for her retirement to the Lakes. However, I am sure both Vikki and John, if they haven't already, will give her the thanks she deserves (and good old Susan!) for continuing, especially at weekends.
Finally Barbara. As it says in the Bible "Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing". I certainly did! and I am sure this will prove to be the case with Vikki and John.

It seems like only a few days ago since as a proud father I was taking Vikki for a walk in the sun in her pram during the hottest summer for many years. She's been a sun worshipper ever since – but now when she gets upset she doesn't throw her toys out of her pram, she just throws things!! So just remember, John, if you haven't caught on to the message already, a husband's last words should always be "OK, buy it!"
I've got to know John better over the past year, as we shared the paintbrushes, and no doubt there's more of that to come. I find him very trusting. He must be. He let's me loose behind the bar!

Talking of father and sons, A father and son are walking through a chemists and the son picks up a packet of condoms and says, "Dad, what are these?". So the father explains.
Then the son asks, "Why do they come in packs of three, six and 12?"
His father replies, "The packs of three are for teenage boys, they use one on Friday night, one on Saturday night and one on Sunday night. The packs of six are for twenty somethings. They use two on Friday, two on Saturday and two on Sunday. The twelve packs are for married men. They use one in January, one in February…"

I also found that John has something of a reputation, not only among his friends and family but also throughout Blackpool, for being something of a "Mr.Cool". Not much seems to worry him. When in the jeweler's a few weeks before the wedding we were discussing the ordering of the rings. When we remarked to Leonard at Peer's that he was leaving it a bit late, his reply was "Well it is John, isn't it?! It's funny isn't it? When a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes and gets married!

At the wedding a little lad came up to John and asked him why does the bride wear white? John replied, "So that the dishwasher matches the fridge and the washing machine!"

On that note, I think I'd better get all serious and do what I'm supposed to do in this speech. When Vikki and John told us that they wanted a wedding abroad, we were a little disappointed. I still had the vision of the traditional wedding and the proud dad walking his beautiful daughter down the aisle. However, I respected them for not being hypocritical and having a church wedding, if they did not believe that to be appropriate. After all I would still be walking my beautiful daughter to her wedding in such a beautiful setting and could not have been prouder whatever the setting!

So, please stand and raise your glasses and drink a toast:

The vows have been read,
The cake has been cut;
Let's hope that Vikki
Doesn't grow a big butt!

No seriously,

"Here's to the bride and the bridegroom,
We'll ask their success in our prayers,
And through life's dark shadows and sunshine
That good luck may always be theirs."