Speech by Alan Porter

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Alan Porter
Speech Date: sep 2003
Just about to rise to make the speech and the phone rings………

"Well, thank you Pastor, I"ll tell them right away".
I"m afraid there has been a hiccup in the proceedings, the Pastor has just
phoned to say that we need to sign the marriage register all over again. It
seems that Roy's pen didn't work too well so he borrowed the Pastors. He
was still having trouble so the Pastor said "put your weight on it Roy".
I'm afraid Kath that your are now Mrs Ninety Two Kilogram.

Thank you for the introduction John and a very good evening to you all. For
those of you who don't know, seated over there wearing the ravishing
purpley/blue coloured outfit is my wife and Kath's mother,
Irene. We have been very happily married now for twenty five years, which
isn't too bad out of thirty one years.

My dad's advice on speech making was:
Be sincere
Be brief
Be seated

Irene's advice was:
Keep it clean
Keep it short

And with Irene being a school teacher, not to forget the ABC and XYZ of
public speaking:
ABC Always Be Confident
XYZ Examine Your Zip

As the Father of the Bride it is my privilege and pleasure to make the
first speech. I would like to start by welcoming Pam and Dave, Roy's
parents, Mr & Mrs Phillips, Roy's grandparents and all relatives and
friends from both families. Thank you all for being here today to celebrate
this very special occasion.

There are several people who we wish could have been with us today but
unfortunately were not able to attend. I'm sure their thoughts are with us
today.

My thanks go to the beautiful bridesmaids for doing such a good job of
looking after Kath. I would also like to thank the pastor, Mr Ray Moore for
a lovely service and his boss for providing a great winters day, Jack, our
DJ for the evening and also the staff of the Starlight Ballroom for the
great food, cheery service and the dancing lessons I was forced to attend.
I was the only one who failed, so be warned.

Standing here tonight reminds me of a joke. Two TV arials met on a roof,
they fell in love and eventually married. The wedding was pretty average
but the reception was brilliant.

During the wedding rehearsal the Pastor noticed that Kath was a bit tense
so he asked her if there was a problem. She replied that she was nervous
and afraid she would not remember what to do on the Big Day. The Pastor
told her she need only remember three things:
THE AISLE, when you enter the church you walk down the aisle.
THE ALTER, this is where you'll arrive for the ceremony.
THE HYMN, this is the type of song we'll sing in the service.
I don't know if any of you heard Kath as we walked down the aisle. She kept
repeating to herself, aisle, alter, hymn, I'll alter him, I'll alter him.

Now weddings don't just happen, I wish they did, but they take a lot of
hard work and planning over several months. I'm sure you will all agree
that Kath and Roy together with their fine support team of Pam, Irene,
Katie, Corrine and Jo have certainly done a fantastic job in organising
todays special occasion.

Today seemed like dream. Just a few hours ago Irene and I proudly walked
our daughter Kath down the aisle to marry Roy, the man whom she loves so
much. It was a very moving moment for us as we watched these two good
people exchange their vows and become man and wife. I would like to take
this opportunity to formally welcome Roy into our family. But Roy, please
be aware that no matter what happens there are no returns or refunds, even
with a receipt. Not only have we gained a son but a pilot, a computer
expert and a help desk.
Don't forget Roy, the key to a long and happy marriage is just two words,
"Yes Kath".

As I stand here today, I see that our daughter has matured into a
beautiful, intelligent, kind and considerate young woman. She has left home
and is now married. When I look back over the years I realise just how
little time you really do have to enjoy your children. Thank you to Irene
for being a wonderful and caring mother and the guiding influence in the
upbringing of Kath and her two sisters, you've done a top job. The hardest
thing in the world is to raise children, especially on a cold morning.

Apparently Kath, this is the moment when I reminisce and tell embaressing
stories of you growing up etc. but seeing that you have more dirt on me
than I have on you it's probably appropriate that we skip this part of the
proceedings.

As you are both adults, I do not feel it is my place to offer advice, but I
will offer one piece of advice to you both. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up on
loving each other and on working together to make your marriage last and
become everything that you both want and deserve. Don't forget, that in
dreams and love all things are possible.

And now, some musical advice. (play few verses of Bobby Vee song, "Take
Good Care of My Baby",
fade song out when get to words "don't let her see a cloudy sky".)

And now would you all please stand and join me in a double toast.

To absent friends and relations.

To Kath and Roy. May your joy never end like the circles of your wedding
rings, may your marriage be blessed with love, laughter and happiness and
may all your pain be .… champagne.
To Kath and Roy.