Speech by Andy Hill

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Andy Hill
Speech Date: 31/10/2013 10:59:45

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon everyone, for those who don't know me I am Andy, Emma's father and it falls to me to make the opening speech. Just think of me as the warm up act for Martin and G. You'll also be pleased to know that having practiced this 43 times – I know I'll be finished in time for the bar to open.

WELCOME

On behalf of the bride's mother Carol and the groom's parents Mike and Shirley I'd like to extend a warm welcome and thank you all for joining us today in celebrating Emma and Martin's wedding. I've been full of mixed emotions as this day approached and it started to become more and more real as each part was discussed and then organised. Now the day has arrived I look at Emma with immense pride at the way everything has come together and all of her amazingly creative ideas are reality. I'm sure you'll all agree that she looks amazing today and Martin has scrubbed up well too.

EMMA

And on this happy occasion I look back at how things began for Emma, she spent the first couple of days in the special care baby unit at Rochford Hospital and caused us a fair bit of concern, but thankfully all was well and we soon took her home. She was born in the same year that the M25 opened and Lady Gaga, Jessica Ennis and Robert Pattinson were born. Of course it wouldn't be gentlemanly to say exactly which year it was, but one final fact about 1986 was that mad cow disease was first identified – not that that has any bearing on today.

Emma was a lovely child, easy going, lively and spent lots of time playing with her sister Laura and brother Luke. Her creative streak which is very evident today started at a young age. With Laura she liked to create interesting hair styles on any willing volunteer, Uncle Alan will remember mini palm trees all over his head and if he doesn't remember I've got photos to prove it.

Emma and Laura would play cats, making scenery with video boxes and drinking milk from saucers on the floor. And dressing up, stuffing scarves up their jumpers so they had big boobs and then pretending to sunbathe on the lounge floor.

She tried her hand at being a musician too and after a brief spell with the recorder moved on to the flute and with Laura on clarinet and Luke on the trumpet we had to be very patient parents.

Then there was a short lived acting career when she played Daisy the maid in the 3rd Castlemount Guides production of The Good, The Bad and the ugly sisters.There is a slightly darker side though, after an argument with Laura, she decided to pour Laura's perfume all over her spider plants, they smelt fantastic but they didn't last long.

She also decided to play a trick on Luke, putting soap on his toothbrush and he foamed at the mouth for ages.But her ambition from an early age was to be a teacher. This started by teaching Laura and Luke at home, using spaghetti as a blackboard pointer and was later confirmed by announcing she was to be a teacher at her year 6 leavers assembly.

So you can imagine how proud we were when we saw her graduate with a teaching degree and then go on to be a primary school teacher. And her career has moved on at a pace too she ran an art club and just this year became senior teacher – well done Emma, mum and I are so proud of you.

MARTIN

As I've grown to know Martin I've found we get on really well, we've a similar sense of humour and I've been able to get him to do daft things like pinching someone's hat at a party so I could get a silly photo.

I remember one day we had a strange visit from Martin, he was on his own and cagey about why he was there. Eventually he left and Carol and I were baffled at the purpose of the visit. The next day he text me and asked me to meet him for lunch, I had my suspicions as to the purpose of this, which were confirmed when we met and he asked my permission to marry Emma. I couldn't be happier and of course I said yes and pointed out the no return policy attached to this agreement.

And now we're here and I've gained a son which Luke and I will agree evens things up as we've been outnumbered by women for so long. You'll know where I'm coming from Shirley as you've been outnumbered by men and have now gained a daughter.

ADVICE

Although Carol and I will have been married for 30 years this November I can't claim to be an expert in marriage, but I will give you both some advice from my experience. In marrying each other you have created a partnership so treat each other with respect and of equal standing. Neither of you are superior to the other, but Martin, be prepared to accept that in most arguments you will be wrong, even when the facts demonstrate that you are not – so get used to admitting that and moving on and you'll do well. 

Keep things fresh give each other surprises, try not to take each other for granted and not to dwell on the negatives, remember that you chose each other because of the things you liked, not the things you didn't.

Stick together though the good times and especially the bad times and remember these wise words from the great Albus Dumbledore who said that we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.

CLOSING AND TOAST

Now you'll be glad to hear me say that I'm on the home straight and will soon be handing over to Martin for him to say a few words. So in closing, would you all please stand and raise your glasses to Emma and Martin the new Mr and Mrs H – congratulations on your special day and go forward together with all our love for a long and happy future – to Emma and Martin…