Speech by Anon

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Anon
Speech Date: Nov2004
Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who don't know me I'm Peter Banks, Rachel's Dad .On behalf of my lovely wife Christina and I, I would like to welcome you all here today to celebrate the marriage of our very special daughter Rachel to Rob, a very special son-in-law.

Welcome to all of you.

I particularly want to welcome Sandy and Keith, Rob's parents; and, of course, formally welcome Rob into our family – although he has been part of the family for many years already, undergoing the pleasures of silly games at Christmas and joining us for many other family occasions.

Some of you have come from a long way away in order to help us celebrate. Places as far away and exotic as Bangkok, Berkshire, Birmingham, Chandlers Ford, Dorset, Lincolnshire, Oxfordshire, Scotland, and Wales. Christina and I chose this venue, rather than one where we live in Lincolnshire, in order to ease the logistics for most of you.

I am very pleased to see Auntie Pat and Edwina are here as they are the earliest representatives of the respective families. Glad that you sorted out the cats, Pat, and glad also that Edwina, you managed to make special arrangements for your dog so that you could be here today.

I am absolutely delighted that our son Stephen and his wife Rowena have flown in especially from Thailand, particularly as we haven't seen them since last October when they left UK to start a new life out in Bangkok. I am particularly proud of Steve, our son. He is doing well. Steve and Rowena, it's good to see you both. I know it was not easy getting away.

It is right that the family should be complete on a day like today. The invitations and Order of Service booklets are a good example of what can happen when a family pulls together. Christina and I designed the layout of the invitations, Rob designed the Order of Service Cover, Stephen arranged for the printing and dispatch from Bangkok, Christina wrote all the invitations; Rachel produced the Order Of Service, and Christina trimmed, folded and stapled the inner sheets of the service booklet. She now has a black belt in Origami. Thanks also to Debbie for producing the menu cards and seating plan. True interfamily co-operation.

There were, of course, many conflicting pressures about the guest list, but we were able to come up with a final list eventually. Sorry if you got your invite late, but not everyone replied so we weren't sure how many were coming. It is impossible to please everybody, but we spent a lot of time on this. In the end decisions were made on the basis of what Rachel and Rob wanted. After all, it is their wedding, not ours. This meant of course, that some of our friends were left out, but that is inevitable.

Tonight there will be an evening reception, starting at 7pm, and about 40 additional guests will be coming to that, many of whom are Rachel and Rob's colleagues. It will be in this room.

So, let's talk about Rachel. In the year that she was born there were several notable events – hopefully not a portent for her future.

Agatha Christie died
Cosmic string theory was postulated by Kibble.
Keith Relf of the Yardbirds electrocuted himself at the age of 33.

What famous events happened on today's date in history? 28 August.

1796 First small pox inoculation by Edward Jenner.
1837 Slavery banned from British Empire and Worcester Sauce was invented
1878 Vaseline first sold.
1962 First atmospheric atomic test by US.
1963 Martin Luther King's famous speech – “I had a dream”
1973 First Skylab launched

There's probably a joke in there somewhere, but not for polite company.

I've been studying Rachel's CV recently. She really is multi-talented. Clarinet player, French and Italian speaker, editor of a book, holds the Certificate in Wine, qualified in Teaching English as a Foreign Language to Adults, holds an International Business honours degree, is a proven international business communicator, enjoys swimming, skiing and 007 films, a car driver, a good cook, gerbil breeder and a purple belt in Kung Fu. Maybe she developed these talents because all of her secondary schooling was at Maggie Thatcher's old school from the age of 11 to 18.

After graduation Rachel worked at Thierry's wine import company. She then moved to her present job at British American Tobacco. I hope there is not a sequence here – I dread to think what her next job will be, one that follows drinking and smoking. Whatever it is, I hope she is able to fulfil her real potential in higher management.

Rachel met Rob 9 years ago on day one at University, and they have been together since; -so they are already past the 7-year itch. Rob has always been a welcome guest at our various family events. They announced their engagement at Easter this year– at Monkey World – so this venue is appropriate.

When two people get married do you ever wonder where they were all those years apart before they knew each other? What paths they took, where they lived, how many miles apart they were, did their paths ever cross before they fell in love? Have you ever wondered? No, I haven't either!

Now, it is traditional for the bride's father to come up with embarrassing moments in the daughter's life. Relax, Rachel, because I'm not sure there are any. I have to say that we have been extremely lucky with both of our children, and have thoroughly enjoyed watching them grow and develop into the fine adults that they are. We have enjoyed every stage – even teenage. Of course, Rachel's early years were not entirely free of incident.…

Once whilst on holiday with us in France Rachel spotted a motorbike course on which she could hire a bike and career round a figure of eight grass track. The track was edged with old tyres. So, she rushes off and sits on a small motorbike while the French owner started the bike up for her. Immediately she set off at full throttle, before being told how to stop. Being about 4 years old she had no sense of fear. The next thing we saw was her hurtling round and round the track at high speed. Luckily nothing untoward happened. She did several laps before we managed to stop her.

For example, giving her a BT Chargecard just before she did her year overseas during her degree course was a bit of an error on my part.. I still remember the nice letter BT sent me as a prewarning about the astronomical amount my telephone bill was going to be – most of which were calls made by Rachel to Rob. To be fair, she did manage to repay me eventually.

There was also the time when during a driving lesson with mum she managed to make the rear screen of Christina's car explode with a loud bang when she was learning to reverse around a corner. She claimed it was an electrical fault, of course. This happened whilst I was overseas (as all car incidents in our family seem to) so I had no way of knowing the cause of it.

Anyway, enough of that. You can breathe easily now, for the time being, Rachel.

Our wedding day was one of the best days of our life, it too was on the 28th of the month. Our time together since has given us 35 good years, and I would like to pay public tribute to my wonderful wife Christina who has been with me throughout. She has always been hard-working, loving and loyal,; particularly in bringing up the children when I was working away from home. Our relationship is now very special, and is bonded by memories and mutual experience. We are human, of course and make the odd mistake. Only last week I said I made a mistake; but I was wrong because I subsequently found out I hadn't.

A P Herbert once said that “The concept of two people living together for thirty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.” What is important to note is that you learn from experiences and emerge from them a better and more complete person. There can be no substitute for experience and learning from your own life. Marriage is not only about finding the perfect partner, but also about trying to be one.

I hope you enjoyed the service and meal. The party hasn't been too bad so far for somebody on a pension. The hotel has done us proud.

Today, I was asked during the service, “Who gives this woman?” Rob, I gave her to you and I already know that you love her and cherish her and I'm proud as your official father-in-law to hand Rachel over to the fine young man that you are. You are now the most important man in her life – I now relinquish that to you.

(Make sure that all glasses are filled before you propose a toast).
I would now like to propose a toast to the happy couple. Please be upstanding and join in a toast to the happiness of Rachel and Rob. My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least. Rachel and Rob.

SIT DOWN.