Speech by Bob Ross

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Bob Ross
Speech Date: Apr 2002
The happy couple, reverend celebrant, dear guests

The first wedding speech I ever gave was in 1958 when I married Steven's mother.

Oh, I was in love! I remember clearly what a great feeling courtship gave me. I used to lie awake all night thinking about something she said. After we married and had four kids I'd fall asleep before she finished saying it.

I'd like to focus on my son for a moment. He's married now, this may be his last chance to be the centre of attention.

Steven's arrival on this earth was a most significant event for us as his safe delivery was Colleen's first after many disappointments. He was both long-awaited and much-wanted. Other birth disappointments followed but where there is a strong desire for offspring there is a way and eventually we were blessed with four lovely children. And they in turn have given me grandchildren who give me great pleasure.

When you are raising your kids you often wonder if you are getting it right. Forgive my little boast, but when I see how my children have turned out, it's all been worthwhile. Every one of them, their partners and my grandchildren is worth knowing.

Steven did not get the best start in life losing his mother Colleen when he was but 16 years of age. Having me as a father did not always help. Few fathers are equipped to be mothers, too, to bridge the gap successfully.

His mother and I felt he got every one of the personal qualities of both of us. Some of his good character came down through his genes. One rarely hears the word character mentioned these days, but what is important to this father is that Steven has it in abundance. He is loyal, hard working, conscientious and faithful. He won't let you down.

He has many good mates, some he has had for years and years, even dating back to his school days.

Two other indicators of his character worth mentioning are, first, that most of his personal development, both physically and intellectually, is a result of his own efforts. His extensive tertiary education was at his own expense and he is indeed an educated man.

The second indicator is the effort he has put into every gift he has ever given any member of his family, including 6 nieces and nephews while he had no children of his own. As a male it could easily have been a cop-out for him. But it wasn't, ever.

I am very proud of him. I don't know Kate nearly as well, but I am a keen observer of the human condition and she strikes me as mature minded and capable, she carries herself well and, as a bonus, she comes from a loving family. Marriage is a balancing of attributes and from what I have seen the balance between Kate and Steve is sound.

Anyway, the facts that she chose Steven as her husband and makes him happy are good enough for me.

It is good to see so many of their contemporaries here today. One tries to keep up as the world spins on its axis and I do concede the value of having their friends well represented to witness the start of their new life together.

In an attempt to be "with it", it is traditional for the groom's father to offer the couple some worldly advice.

First, marriage will teach Steve any qualities he is lacking. He will have plenty of opportunity in the future to observe that, if he had just stayed single, he wouldn't have needed any of them.

Second, good communication is important:

Never go to bed in the middle of an argument, stay up and fight it out, I say! And always remember to be diplomatic and magnanimous in the morning when you allow the other one to do it your way.

Kate, if you want something from Steven, you've only ask for it. He is a man, hints won't work.

Steven, you may prefer to make all of the major decisions in your marriage while Kate makes all of the day-to-day ones. And fair enough too! If this is how it turns out, though, check it out, you may find that all decisions have been of a minor nature.

Events like today's don't just happen. They take a considerable amount of hard work and organisation and I commend Steven and Kate for the effort they have made to ensure a day worth remembering. It's their day, they've worked hard, and done good.

What I wish most for Kate and Steven is that they be each other's best mate. You can have all the love in the world swirling through the ether, flashing lights, sky rockets and balloons going up, but unless your partner is your best mate, the one who is always there for you, the one most interested in what you think and say, you will be missing out on the best of life's greatest institution.

Would you please join me in this toast to the newlyweds:

May you live as long as you like, and have all you need for as long as you live,
May the road you choose be smooth, and your burdens light.
May your pleasure in each other, grow with your years together.
Steven and Kate.