Speech by Charles

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Charles
Speech Date: May 2000
GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYONE, I AM CHARLES, THE BRIDES FATHER.
LINDA WAS BORN, I BLINKED, AND HERE I AM, GIVING THE BRIDES FATHERS SPEECH. WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?

PAM AND I, WOULD SINCERELY LIKE TO WELCOME TODAY, LESLEY AND
BRUCE, THE GROOMS PARENTS; AND RELATIVES, AND FRIENDS OF BOTH FAMILIES, TO THIS VERY HAPPY OCCASION.

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK, CURTIS CATERING, FOR THE LOVELY FARE, AND
FOR NOT ALLOWING MY WIFE TO COOK. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK REVERENT THORNTON, FOR HIS BEAUTIFUL SERVICE. YOU CAN FIND HIM ON THE INTERNET, ON http://www.god.com
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK, AUNTIE MARY, FOR DOING ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS, AT THE CHURCH, AND THE RECEPTION, AND LAST , BUT NOT LEAST, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK SUSAN, FOR THE MAGNIFICENT WEDDING CAKE, AND FOR NOT ALLOWING MY WIFE, TO HELP HER, BAKE IT.

WE ARE SO PROUD TODAY, TO SEE LINDA LOOKING, SO BEAUTIFUL.
SHE HAS ALWAYS BRIGHTENED UP OUR LIVES, NEVER TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS. SHE HAS NOTHING TO WEAR, BUT FILLS SIX WARDROBES WITH IT.
SHE DRESSES TO KILL, AND COOKS THE SAME WAY.
I AM ONLY JOKING, SHE IS SO VERY SPECIAL, TO US.

WE ARE ALSO VERY PROUD, THAT SHE HAS MARRIED STEVEN, A VERY SPECIAL YOUNG MAN. A SHEFFIELD UNITED SUPPORTER. I SAID TO HIM THE OTHER DAY, I BET ITS EXCITING WHEN YOU WIN. HE SAID I DON'T KNOW, I'VE ONLY BEEN GOING TWO SEASONS.

ANYWAY, I WOULD LIKE TO FINISH OFF, BY GIVING A FEW WORDS OF WISDOM, TO THE NEWLY WEDS. NEVER GO TO BED ON AN ARGUMENT, STAY UP AND FIGHT.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE UPSTANDING, I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST.———TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WOULD NOW LIKE TO HAND YOU OVER, TO MY
SON IN LAW, STEVEN.