Speech by Chris White

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Chris White
Speech Date: sep 2003
INTRODUCTION

JOSH
Thank you Josh for that introduction – I must say that you are looking a great deal better tonight than when I last saw you after Sarah's 21st in the morning at our home. That was not a pretty sight.

GENERAL
Ladies and Gentlemen I am delighted to welcome you here tonight to celebrate the Marriage of Sarah and Ian. I know that many of you have travelled many thousands of Kilometres to be here with us, and I welcome you and thank you for being here. I know Sarah and Ian greatly appreciate your presence and your sacrifice.

As I look around the room I look and realize what dear friends we have, and I hope you have a really wonderful evening. Although this Marriage has brought us together tonight, I am reminded of what Billy Connelly said of Marriage:

“Marriage is a wonderful invention, but then again so is a bicycle repair kit.”

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS
Because this is my speech, I can say whatever I like, and I would like to reflect for a few moments on love and relationships.

This day ushers in the beginning of a wonderful new phase in lives of this couple. Perhaps the wisest thing anyone has ever said to me about marriage and love is this: love is a decision.

On the surface it sounds a fairly clinical and unromantic assessment, but if you think about it a little deeper you will realize that there is truth in these words.

It's easy to fall in love. When a young couple first meet, the world looks rosy, neither can do any wrong, nothing can touch them. Sarah has done it many times.

But as you grow into your relationship and the realities of life take hold- things like a mortgage, kids (one day I hope) joys and sufferings, general ups and downs – you start to realize that love is a conscious decision.

Relationships take a lot of work. You have to be working at them all the time so that you grow together. When you hit a bump, that's the time to stop and say “Love is a decision. I made a conscious decision to love this man or this woman, despite his or her shortcomings, and despite my not agreeing with everything he or she says and does.

“Because I love this person, I can resolve any problem we might face.” If you look at love in this way, then nothing can stop you.

SARAH AND IAN
Sarah I have known all her life, from the time she was drawn out from her mother's womb, to the present moment – the beautiful young woman you see before you now. Much has happened in the years between. It would be remiss of me not to comment on a few memorable moments of her life such as in Year 1 when she “Flashed” passing traffic in her school uniform from roadside bushes, or when .in year 10 she mysteriously disappeared from her bedroom from 11.00pm to 3am on a fairly regular basis when she was out “clubbing.” For the former, she was spanked by her teacher, for the latter, she was “grounded” by her parents for 6 months.

In her defence, in those intervening years, she made the most marvellous shoe tidier. Every day, and in everyone's wardrobes, she would obsessionally have all our shoes immaculately lined up so that we never ever had missing shoes for years.

However, apart from her mildly and at times noisy rebellious teen years, she has been a charming and delightful daughter who always thought she had me wrapped around her little finger, but whom I love dearly.

I must warn Ian she can be a little headstrong and fixed and determined in her views at times. Beware of when she puts on a little too much charm. However, take comfort from George Bernard Shaw's words:

“Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.”

Ian, on the other hand, I have only come to know and respect over the last few weeks. I recall early one Sunday morning in February (8.30am) receiving a phone call for a Dr White. I said “Hello, Dr White speaking” and the reply was “This is Ian, Ian Thomas.” He repeated the name – Ian Tomas? A poignant, interminable silence ensued whilst I pondered this new early morning information. The voice then said “It's Ian Thomas, I am in England with your daughter Sarah”. The penny dropped. He blurted: “I have just asked her to marry me”.

In my somewhat startled bleary state, I tried to think of a suitable reply, but to this day I am not quite sure what I said. I think it was (hopefully) a positive and affirmative response, offering congratulations, trying to remember who the hell Ian Thomas was and what he looked like. Then it came to me!

Knowing that Sarah had said yes, I was certain that she had made the right choice and that the marriage would be a wonderful one. Indeed, I am convinced that I will be proven correct, because I am comfortably assured by William Shakespeare's words:

“It is a wise father that knows his own child”

Since I have come to know Ian, he has certainly lived up to my expectations and will make a wonderful husband and partner to my daughter. Ian, you are indeed welcome in our family, and I anticipate that you will become a much loved and loving part of it.

It is obvious in meeting with Ian's family that he is a man of honesty, loyalty and integrity, with the capacity to give all of his love. It has been an honour to celebrate this magnificent event with a family such as his.

Before I propose the Toast to the Bride and Groom, I would like to quote some more words of the Prophet Kahil Gibran that Caroline quoted in her reading – this time on children:

SPEAK TO US OF CHILDREN:

AND HE SAID:
“Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that his arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

WENDY
My wife Wendy has been a real pillar of strength over the last 8 months, and the rock of the foundation on which this whole day has been built. In my life she has made me very happy, and I must take this opportunity to thank her not only for her enduring and mostly patient love, but also for planning and executing such a wonderful day as today.

TOAST
When I look back over the many wonderful years of my marriage, I envy Sarah and Ian as they embark on one of life's most exciting, and “interesting” journeys.

It is now my very great privilege to propose a toast to my daughter and new son-in-law.

Could you all please stand and with all the very best wishes, raise your glasses to Sarah and Ian, as we wish them the greatest health and happiness for their future life together.

TO SARAH AND IAN!