Speech by David Hemsley

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: David Hemsley
Speech Date: Sep2004
Ladies & Gentlemen, family & friends,

On behalf of my wife, Mary, and myself I'd like to extend a very warm welcome to members of both families and to our friends – on this family occasion – and thank you all for making the effort to be here today. A special welcome goes to those of you who have travelled long distances – my brother Philip & his family from the north of Scotland, Anthony's brother Chris & family from Wales, sons Richard & family from the south of England and not least Ross who has travelled from Canada specially for this occasion although his family have unfortunately been unable to accompany him this time.

As the father of the bride I have the pleasure of making the first speech, and also being the warm up act for the star speakers – the groom and best man.

Believe it or not we began planning this wedding back in February 2003, when we booked this venue for the reception. I'd like to begin by offering my thanks to all those who have worked hard to put this day together especially my wife, Mary and, of course, Sarah & Anthony themselves – a day which I am sure they will both cherish for the rest of their lives.

Now then –
I've carried out a bit of research on events which have occurred on this day in the past. Samuel Johnson writer / poet was borne 1709 (second only to William Shakespeare), in 1759 the British captured Quebec city, in 1810, Chile gained independence from Spain and in 1975 Patty Hearst was arrested after a year on the run with the Symbionese Liberation Army. So – if history is anything to go by it would seem you're probably missing absolutely nothing by being here today.

I'd just like to say – a word about the proceedings later in the day – after the formalities are complete there will be a short break before we continue into the evening starting at around 7.30pm. I know some of you need to leave before then, but I hope that many of you will be able to stay on, into the evening. There will be a selection of music and also karaoke which Sarah and Anthony have organised and there will be a buffet at around 9pm. I've been informed that there is a Halloween type theme to the evening. I know nothing about the arrangements, but I am sure it will be a good evening – just remember please that this as my disclaimer in connection with anything that happens after 7.30pm.

Now, what can I tell you about Sarah – I am told it is customary, on these occasions, for the father to say a few words about the bride.
Sarah has never been a problem to us, except for that difficult period parents have to endure with a daughter from the age of three to thirty
My daughter is like me in some respects but quite different in others. For example, she likes blood & gore. Not only does she work in a hospital she also enjoys TV programmes like Casualty & Holby City – me, I'm a bit of a coward when it comes to such things and generally avoid them like the plague. I just can't understand why anybody gets pleasure from watching hospital dramas and televised operations – I zap them straight away. As soon as I walk into a hospital, even if only visiting, I must start to look pale because, before I know where I am, the nurses are clammering round offering me cups of tea – this being an instant cure, as everybody knows, for people with my condition.

Anyway – going back now but still at hospital – when Sarah was borne at Bradford Royal I was told, in no uncertain terms, by a menacing looking midwife of rather large proportions, that this was no place for me and that I should go home and, moreover, that I should do it at once. No tea proffered on this occasion. In a state of shock I hung around for a while, really wanting to go home, but wondering whether it was the right thing to do in the circumstances. As it happened my mind was made up for me when, to my horror, this fearsome looking lady reappeared and demanded to know why I was still here. That was enough – suitably convinced and not prepared to face a third confrontation, I left – to be informed sometime afterwards by telephone that I had a daughter – Sarah. I suppose it was all rather civilised really from my point of view – but that was just the beginning – that was the easy bit.

On a serious note – I've got to say this – Sarah doesn't like me to mention it– she has been tremendously brave in the face of great adversity. She went through 2 major operations in Oxford and thank God that was successful. The medical team were a marvellous set of people and I cannot speak too highly of them. Above all, I really am very proud of how bravely Sarah handled this very difficult period in her life. Oh yes – and, for my part, I lost count of the cups of tea which were administered to me.

Sarah joined the local brownie pack when she was old enough and has been connected with the Guide movement ever since. She's been a guide leader for quite a few years now and has organised many events and functions for them. A comparatively recent development in the last couple of years is that she has also become a leader with the local scout troupe – it would have been unheard of at one time to have a female in scouts – but I am told, in the name of progress, that's all changed now. Sarah puts her heart and soul into these organisations and devotes a great deal of time in the background as well as at meetings. I‘m very pleased to see that some of her friends, from both guides and scouts have been able to join us today.

Moving on now – I've got to say that, whilst there are some things in life I've understood, Sarah is not one of them. I've given this a great deal of thought and , after due consideration, the only thing I can put it down to, is the fact that she's a woman – Oscar Wilde was probably not far off the mark when he said, ”Women are meant to be loved, not understood” How perceptive of the man. I wish somebody had told me that sooner, rather than just leaving me to find out the hard way.

Just to mention another of her little quirks and embarrass her yet further:
It's almost a standing joke in our family that we, or rather Sarah, have been the owners of the only flying hamster in history. His name was Sammy, and Sammy could easily fly across the top of Sarah's bed – with a little help from Sarah. Sammy was also a very proficient acrobat – he could do mid air tipple tails with no problem at all. He led a very full and active life especially between the hours of midnight and dawn when everybody in the house was trying to sleep – and Sarah loved him. Anybody who has ever had a hamster will know what I'm talking about. For anybody who hasn't had a hamster, don't get one without first finding out about their nocturnal habits

Now I don't want to let the occasion pass without mentioning Sarah's Aunty Liz – that's my sister, Liz. – Liz has been a really good friend to Sarah whilst she has been growing up. I would just like to say, “Thanks Liz for that and for the help and guidance you have given to Sarah over the years.” In some respects Sarah has modelled herself on Liz – to the point where I could hardly get through either of their front doors without falling over something. Ah – but wait- since Liz moved house she has gone for minimalism – so I'm just waiting to see if there is a knock-on effect.

As much as you try not to interfere in their lives, you always hope that once your children grow up, that they will make the right choices and that things will go well for them. Sarah has chosen Anthony and Anthony has chosen Sarah.

Anthony did things the right way and requested an interview with me to seek permission to formally marry my daughter – something which I thought was very nice – it surprised me a bit as it's not necessarily the norm these days. I think Sarah had told him I was such an ogre he had better do it. I was a bit taken aback and didn't really know what to say to him – I thought about how Mr Bennett dealt with these situations in Jane Austin's Pride & Prejudice. He would retire into his study (a room which the women of the house were not allowed to enter – a singularly good idea!) and there he would usually question the young man about such matters as his situation in life, his future prospects, the size of his private income etc. Anyway, Anthony and I had a rather more relaxed discussion at the end of which I paused, feigning reluctance, before I was able to confirm – yes, she's all yours or words to that effect.
– and how soon can we get the show on the road?

Joking apart, we would formally like to welcome Anthony into the family and wish good luck to both Sarah and Anthony in their future life together. From my observations Sarah and Anthony seem to be very well matched and we hope they will continue to make each other happy in the years ahead.

Marriage isn't easy – no – its well nie impossible
Everyone has their ups and downs .Many's the time I've tried to impress upon my daughter the need to see the other person's point of view (usually mine as it happens). Anyway, I hope they will both adopt that kind of considerate approach, (one to which my wife, I feel sure, will happily testify.)

There is certainly no secret to a happy marriage.
You two will have to work at it like the rest of us.
So endeth the lecture – I'm saying no more.

I'm reaching the end of my brief comments for this afternoon – you'll all be relieved to know – I just can't finish without saying that this is the one and only time that you will see me in this role. At this juncture the younger men here today might just like to wake up for a minute and pay attention to my next comments. With the benefit of hindsight it is with the most enormous relief that I am able to say that I only managed one daughter. I must say I think she is looking very beautiful today and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Maybe I got off quite lightly – who knows? Nobody forewarned me what was involved all those years ago.
Now we come to my final duty of the day. I'd like to thank you all for listening so patiently to my ramblings or, at least, looking as if you were listening – now all that remains is for me to ask you to join me in a special toast.

So, Sarah and Anthony, here's to the future and for all the things that you can look forward to together.

Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses to – the Bride and the Groom. – Sarah and Anthony