Speech by David McKenlay

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: David McKenlay
Speech Date: 17/11/2014 17:57:11

Good afternoon everyone, for those of you that don't know me I'm David, and as you can probably guess by all the grey hair, I'm Emma's dad.

 I was reflecting as I stood up just then that this is a rare opportunity – having spent many years living in a household with three women I've not often had the chance to speak first – particularly when someone might be listening.

 So, not wanting to make a fool of myself (well at least no more than usual) I've taken my inspiration for this speech from Kylie Minogue – it's going to be short and entertaining

 I would like to begin by welcoming you all today and saying a big thank you from all of us on this table for taking the time and effort to join with us to celebrate Emma and Steve's wedding.  We know that many of you have made long journeys to be here today and we hope that you have a great time in these lovely surroundings.

 Knowing that there are one or two rugby fans in the room I was going to mention the Leicester Tigers at this point – a topical comment about their result today.  However, I think it's a sign of just how much effort Emma and Steve have put into planning their wedding – Tigers have moved their match to tomorrow.

 Now I believe that tradition dictates that a dad should share a few anecdotes about his daughter.  But don't worry Emma I'm not going to embarrass you – your Mum and Aunty Gail can do that later!

 When I was at home this morning I was wandering around thinking about today and thinking about the light Emma has brought to our lives – in fact she always left the lights on in every room.  So I was wandering switching them all off.

 When I saw Emma in that dress I thought wow – actually I thought wow she'll never get safely down those stairs and along that aisle in that.  But she did, she made it in one piece – and if she hadn't at least we know where the nearest hospital is. Steve – you have checked where the hospitals are in Sri Lanka haven't you?

 And then there were those special father daughter bonding moments – the concentration, the lights, the squealing and screeching and, dammit, she beat me again.  A sunny day at Santa Pod – it's amazing how much fun you can have on a quarter of a mile of tarmac – but you know you're getting old when your kids start getting faster cars than you have!

 I know I'm not supposed to stray into the best man's territory of embarrassing the groom but I couldn't let the occasion pass without recalling that our first meeting with Steve led to him being referred to as Drunk Naked Boy for quite a while.  You'll have to ask him for the details.

 Turning back to tradition, at this point I'm supposed to welcome Steve into the family today.  But in truth we knew that Steve was an integral part of the family from the moment when we found that he could put up Grannies Christmas lanterns without the need for a stepladder.

 I'm also supposed to offer some advice to the new couple. 

 It is said that a man isn't complete until he's married – and when he's married he's finished.  But anyway……

 Steve – remember that when Emma asks you to do something – she's really telling you (what's referred to an indirect command)

 Emma – it's no good hinting at things – Steve's a man, just tell him.

 I think on that note it's probably time that I sat down, but before I do so I'd like to propose a toast.

 Can you all please stand, raise your glasses and join me in toast to the Bride and Groom.