Speech by David Page
Dear Sirs, I would like to offer my thanks to you for the help that your website was able to give me in my attempts to create a speech to deliver at my daughters wedding. I have included it as an attatchment to this e-mail, and I hope that it can be shown on your site to help others. I have also attatched a "spoof" letter, purporting to be from the Prime Minister, that was read out with the speeches. The reason this letter was written was to find out how the grooms sister, who is a "Black cat" expert, and who "Name Drops" shamelessly, would react. It worked quite well as she is living i
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Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: David Page
Speech Date: Aug 2001
My Lords, “My Lady”, Ladies and Gentlemen, It is a great privilege and honour for me to be able to welcome you all here today at the wedding of Samantha and Trevor, especially those of you who have made long journeys to be with us. I'm under orders to keep this as short as possible, so I'll do my best.
Ever since Samantha was a little girl she's been telling her mother and myself that she was going to have a “Fairytale” wedding, you know the sort of thing, “Kiss a Toad”, marry a “Prince”, ride off on a “White horse”, live in a “Castle”, all the usual sort of little girl dreams.
Well, in a couple of ways she's been right all along!, It has seemed like a “Fairytale wedding”, — seeing as no-one really believes in Fairy tales, no-one believed this would ever happen, mind you she got the “Toad” bit right, but instead of a “Prince” she got Trevor.
I would liked to have been able to say that I want to take the opportunity to welcome Trevor to the family, but he's been around for so long now that he's part of the fixtures and fittings, mind you he's been welcome since day 1, and that's at least 10 years ago now!.
It has been a bit of a “Whirlwind romance” this one has, and its left us all gasping!,- not for breath you must understand, but more on the lines of “Will they or Won't they”. Well they finally did, and here we all are today to wish them well throughout their married life.
Now I'm supposed to offer some advice at this point – even if it's years too late.–“Trevor”, most things, as you learnt years ago, will revolve around three little words that “Sam”, along with nearly every other woman in the world, was born speaking, “All, Just and Only”.
“ALL you need to do”, — “Its ONLY £500”, — “It'll JUST take 5 minutes”.
Every “Man Jack” here in this room will know the only possible and permitted reply to ANY of those three little words, and the only way to keep the peace, is to use those two immortal words that only a husband can know the true and dreadful meaning of -“Yes Dear”.
I would also like to say, never go to sleep with an un-finished argument hanging over you, be a man, stay awake and fight to the bitter end, you're going to lose anyway, so you might as well get it over and done with!.
All joking aside, I would like for you all to now join me in a toast to the new Bride and Groom, as I can see that John, the Best Man, is just itching to get on with his speech, so without any more waffling from me, I would like for you all to join me in wishing them both the very best in all things, now and always!.
CONGRATULATIONS SAM AND TREVOR!.
The Letter
Friday 3rd. August 2001
Dear Samantha and Trevor,
Well, you've finally managed to “Do the Deed” and make an honest person of each other, our sincerest congratulations to you both!, mind you, it took you long enough!
We were both hoping to come down to Kitley to share some time with you but, unfortunately, as you probably understand, other matters must, sadly, take precedence.
Hopefully, time will allow us to visit later this year, or early next year, so until then we shall send our love and kind regards.
Yours sincerely,
Tony and Cherie.
P.S. remember us to your Mum and Dad, we'll have to get together again soon!
