Speech by David Taylor

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: David Taylor
Speech Date: Oct2005
”Good afternoon everyone and thank you for coming along today to celebrate T & M's special day.
We could have had the Scout hut for 50 quid but I think they made a good choice.
For those of you who don't know me I'm T's dad and I'm also the warm up act for the other 2 comedians to follow.
I would like to say a special welcome to a few people here today.
First of all M's parents S & P, their family and friends and those guests from both sides who have travelled long distances to be here today.
We'd like to welcome M into the family. In many ways over the last 2 years he has become like a son to us; now, for anyone out there with a son you'll know what I mean; he answers back, comes in when he likes and drinks my beer!
It's customary for me to give a little potted history of life with T, so here goes, nothing too embarassing as I know she will get her own back!
March 9th 1976, the day T. was born, upside down, cord round her kneck, suction delivery and oxygen all round, including me!
We realised then that life with T was going to be full of little dramas.
On top of that, the roads are icy and I've got to get home in my Morris Marina!- more drama.
Firstly, T, we remember you listening to Rick Astley for hours on your Red Roller tape player.
You enjoyed your caravan holidays in France but one year insisted on taking your own tent, got scared at 3 in the morning and came knocking on the door to be let in.
You'll remember learning to drive – well I certainly do! I played the driving instructor for the day, you played chicken with 6 Hells Angels- they won!
You'll remember your 1st car, a little red Metro which you reversed into a 10ft tree and tried to tell me ‘I've just run over a stick Dad’
T then went missing for 2 days, but V and I weren't too worried about that because V thought she was in the bathroom doing her hair and i thought she was on the ‘phone!
But, I have to say T you always brightened up our lives – you never did switch a light off!
I have to say that T did well at school and went on to catering college for a couple of years and has become quite an accomplished cook, much to M's delight, and is now enjoying her career working with a leading car manufacturer.
On the plus side she always played the little mother/big sister role to perfection, and still does.
So that's the potted history over with but it's also customary for me to offer a little advice on married life.V and I have been happily married now for 37 years, so I think I'm well qualified.
First of all some advice for M- the best way to remember todays date- your anniversary- is to forget it just once and you'll never hear the last of it!
And remember, there is no challenge in marriage that can't be overcome by those 3 little words – I WAS WRONG
And some advice for T, – treat him like a dog
1. Make a fuss of him
2. Feed him well
3. Let him off the lead now and then
It's at this point I would like to thank my wife V for all her hard work and dedication that helped to make today so special.
Also thanks to my 2 other daughters R & J along with F for working so hard, staying calm and generally doing a great job for T – not just today but throughout the last few months.
So, Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the bride and groom.
Please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the BRIDE & GROOM.
May your happiness be everlasting and any pain, be champagne – the best of health and happiness in the future T & M