Speech by Doug McNicholas
As I helped myself to others' speeches it seems only fair that I contribute.
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Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Doug McNicholas
Speech Date: Sep2004
Good afternoon
For those people who don't know me already, I'm…….(consults notes) ….er. Gillian's Dad.
Pam and I, Craig's mum Brenda and his brother Stuart would like to welcome all our relatives and friends. Welcome also to all friends and colleagues of Gillian and Craig.
Some people have come from abroad to be here today. From foreign countries such as Germany, Spain, Holland and Scotland! (We are approx. 10 miles from the border!)
Thank you all for being here today and joining us on this very suspicious occasion.
(Looks at notes) auspicious occasion
So, I'm standing here next to my beautiful daughter wondering what I can say about her and still get out of here on two legs.
Pam and I are very proud of Gillian. She brought brightness into our lives – leaving the lights on in the kitchen, in the hall, in the bathroom. Did I mention bathroom – Gillian spent so much time in the shower that the local water board knocked on the door one day looking for the leak!
Seriously though we are very proud of Gillian and we have had some serious moments with her. One of her most serious, definite, never to be changed, statements to her mother was “You'll never wear a bride's mother's hat!”
That's a lovely hat you're wearing Pam.
Moving swiftly on, what can I say about Craig?
Welcome officially to our family. What's ours is now yours provided there's no money involved.
I've spoken to Craig and told him, “Today is the best day of your life so enjoy it. There won't be another day like it and you will remember it always.”
That was yesterday when he was still a bachelor.
And now I'd like to offer some wise marital advice, but not for Gillian as she's ignored any advice I've offered for the past 25 years.
Craig, It's said that man is incomplete without a wife and that once he has one – He's finished!
So Craig, you're finished. Always remember however that any problems or arguments can always be resolved with the use of those three little words, “I was wrong”.
I've decided, due to the swelling and bruising now on my ankles, to cut out the other 38 minutes of this speech and proceed directly to the toast.
So ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding as we wish Gillian and Craig a long and happy life together.
Gillian and Craig.
The Bride & Groom.
