Speech by Fred Ellis

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Fred Ellis
Speech Date: Sep2005
As the Father of the Bride, it is my privilege to make the first speech. I hope you will forgive me if at any time I get a little emotional but I saw the bill for the wedding only a few minutes ago and as an accountant I always get upset by large numbers unless they are on the sales line.

This actually takes me back to the last and in fact only occasion that I was called upon to say a few words at a wedding. It was 33 years ago and it was my wedding to Vicky's Mum Linda. I sat nervously waiting for her dad to finish speaking @ wishing maybe he could speak forever @ so that I wouldn't have to @ and getting more and more nervous as he approached the end of his speech and my turn was rapidly approaching.

Anyway I will be fairly brief today because I know that Neil &amp Mark @ unlike me all those years ago @ are really looking forward to standing here before you and making their speeches.

Seriously though I would like to start by saying what a real pleasure it is to welcome on this very happy occasion the relatives and friends of both Vicky and Neil. I would also like us to remember those who, for some reason or another, could not be here with us today.

Neil and Vicky both have grandmothers who are too ill to travel. Neil's Uncle John lives and works in Thailand.

All have sent their good wishes and I know they will be thinking about us at this time as indeed we are thinking of them.

For my wife and I this is a very proud moment to see Vicky, looking so beautiful and confident on her wedding day. But then we are more than a little biased.

It's a day that fathers in particular are supposed to look forward to but if I speak honestly it is also a difficult point in a fathers life and I will try to explain why.

Along with my wife I have been responsible for her for the last 25 years @ since 21 February 1980 to be precise @ when she was born. Even though she has been off to university and is making her own way in life @ she is still our child.

But from today we have to consider her as someone else's responsibility. Any of you who have children and daughters in particular this is a very difficult transition to contemplate. For her to find someone that we can trust and have faith in is invaluable. In fact it's a given. It is not negotiable.

As we have got to know Neil more and more over the last 2 or 3 years we have come to realise that he is right for her. He has our trust and we know he will look after her as we did.

Now it's at this point in most speeches that the father of the bride usually says something along the lines of.… we are not really losing a Daughter but gaining a son. Well in our case we know exactly how it feels to have gained a son because they have been living with us for the last 6 months whilst they rebuilt their house on Hylton Drive. They actually moved in with us @ just for the weekend of the move @ to give them some space to start the decorating. Then plaster started falling off and the full magnitude of what they had taken on hit them – some of it on their heads.

By the way it is not true that their house got onto the shortlist of the sky television programme “houses from hell”. It was actually rejected quite early on in the selection process for being too far@gone

Many of you have like me watched the progress over the last few months on their house project and despite many stressful episodes I think anyone who has seen the before and after views will agree that it has been transformed over that time and is miraculously ready for them to move into.… thank goodness.. so we can get back to some kind of normality at our house.

In all seriousness though I have to say that the way they have worked together in turning their house into a home with many long hours sometimes late into the night and often after a day at work has I think only strengthened the natural bond between them even further.

At this point I should acknowledge on their behalf the tremendous amount of help they have had from their many friends and family in getting it ready for the start of their married life.

If their marriage has as much support dedication and hard work going into it they will not go far wrong.

It is also traditional that at this point in today's proceedings that I should try to give these two people who are starting out on their married life together some advice – particularly you Neil.

As I am not particularly qualified in this subject I thought at first I could get some ideas by looking back in history to see what others might have said on this very complex subject.

It seems to be a widely held belief Neil that a man is not complete until he has taken a wife – after he is married he is finished.

Another quotation I found said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership – I could not find out who made this statement but whoever it was @ they knew little about marriage … even less about mathematics…and nothing at all about women.

I do know however that it was the comedian Groucho Marks who when discussing his third or possibly his fourth divorce @ said that despite yet another failed relationship @ Marriage is a fine Institution – but who wants to spend all of their life in an Institution.

Also whilst doing this research I came across the results of a survey, which I think, was probably carried out in America @ to try to establish whether married men live longer than bachelors do.
Apparently, after a great deal of research carried out over several years the statisticians established surprisingly perhaps that there is absolutely no difference @ it just seems longer when you're married!

And then to bring my famous people's thoughts search to a close I am reminded of what the comedian Billy Connelly said
“Marriage is a wonderful invention, but then again so is a bicycle repair kit.”
Anyway having considered these thoughts of people much more experienced than myself I realised I was still no wiser than before and so I began searching back into my own personal experiences for some kind of understanding.
After all as someone who has been married for 33 years I should be able to speak from some experience.
I haven't worked it all out myself yet but I'll pass on a few tips that I picked up along the way.
I would like to warn Neil here about what he'll be up against.
I didn't think it wise to say anything before he'd gone through the wedding ceremony just in case he changed his mind. But there's something you'll have to learn to live with Vicky or indeed any woman because no man has yet found a remedy for it and that is the female mind.
It can be summed up by this one simple story.

Just before a particularly important function, a wife bought her husband two ties a red one and a blue one.
He was undecided which one to wear at the party and after trying both on against the suit and shirt he was going to wear he eventually picked the red one.
As soon as his wife saw it, she frowned and said, &quotOh! You're wearing the red tie. Don't you like the blue one?&quot

Maybe Neil you need to consider the words of Oscar Wilde, &quotWomen are meant to be loved, not understood.
Not sure why Oscar Wilde should be considered an expert on woman but that's what he is quoted as saying.

However you 2 can forget everything else I have said so far today because it was all tongue in cheek but if you do remember any of my words today I would like it to be this small piece of advice.
Marriage isn't easy but it's not impossible and you can always overcome any issues in a marriage if you both remember the following 3 sentences.
They each only have 3 words so are easily remembered. They can be used by either of you @@@ at any time.… at the appropriate moment in any disagreement you may be having as. Think of them as a kind of tiebreaker.
I was wrong
You were right

And most important of all
I love you

Now I myself have always found it easy to have the last word in all the arguments I have with Linda. I just say OK – Buy it.

And finally and because I know that Vicky has a stubborn streak like all women
Never go to bed in the middle of an argument – Neil be a man stay up and fight

Now I think it is time that I shut up and sat down before I have trouble with my throat.
My wife has threatened to cut it if I talk for more than 5 Minutes!

But before I do I would like to end my pleasant duty and propose a toast to the happy couple.

Ladies &amp Gentlemen, please be upstanding and charge your glasses and I will give you my last formal words of the day which come from both my wife &amp myself along with Neil's parents Val &amp H.

WHEN OUR CHILDREN FIND TRUE LOVE,

WE PARENTS FIND TRUE JOY.

So Vicky &amp Neil,

HERE'S TO YOUR LOVE AND OUR JOY,

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.