Speech by Fred Ellis

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Fred Ellis
Speech Date: May2007
I N T R O D U C T I O N

Ladies &amp gentlemen, as the father of the bride it is my privilege to make the first speech.

Those of you that already know me will tell you that I am NOT usually a man of FEW WORDS and after thinking about all the things that I wanted to say today and then writing it all down the very shortest I could make my speech was one hour and sixteen minutes.

But you will be all pleased to hear that I am only going to talk to you for about 5 minutes ……….because of my throat.

MY WIFE HAS THREATENED TO CUT IT IF I GO ON TOO LONG
Now some of you have traveled a long way to be here and I THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING THAT EFFORT…… but I think the record for distance must go to Phil's auntie Elaine who is here all the way from Perth in Australia – We had hoped that she might have brought some Australian weather with her …………………….…

But REGARDLESS of the distance you have traveled each and every one of you are here because at some stage you have played a part however large or small in one or other of these 2 wonderful people's lives – and you are valued for that and your presence here is important to them on a day that I KNOW they will remember for the rest of their lives.

W E L C O M E A N D K A T I E

So let me start by welcoming you all and thank you for joining Linda &amp myself along with Sue and Les in the celebration of the marriage of Philip &amp Katie……………….…

Now it should go without saying that the wedding day of a daughter is one of the happiest and proudest days in any parent's life and for Linda and myself this is no exception.

To watch any child from birth making the journey through their childhood years with all the trials and tribulations involved is indeed a wonderful experience. As those of you who have known Katie all of her live would testify she has always been a very loving and caring person who above all else knows her own mind and once she has made her mind up she will not let anything stand in her way.

Katie and I have always had a special bond and we were always very close……….… except the time we lost her in WH Smiths at Manchester airport and again at the bottom of a hotel swimming pool in Minorca – oh and of course the time we left her at a bus stop in Spain.

I could go on and on recounting different episodes from her childhood but on reflection each of those episodes were just her way – from a very early age – of establishing her independence……………… I just wish she had chosen less stressful ways to do it.

Anyway as you can see her mother and I came through them all relatively unscathed…… although Linda with a few more grey hairs than she should have at her age I guess and me with a lot less hair of any colour…..…
However whether you have known her all her life or only met her recently or are seeing her today for the first time in a few years you will have to agree that she has grown into an independent confident and very beautiful woman.

F A T H E R S S P E C I A L R E L A T I O N S H I P

Now for a father approaching the day of a daughter's wedding can be a difficult time and I will try to explain to you why that is.
All of you who are parents and fathers of girls in particular will know EXACTLY what I am trying to explain here.

Since the day that Katie was born – 17 April 1982 to be precise – she has been our total responsibility and even though she has blossomed into this beautiful young woman that you see here today in our minds she is still our child.

When Katie first rang her mum to tell her that she had had lunch with someone called Phil – they were both excited as they chatted on as only mothers and daughters can.

I spent the rest of the journey – going over in my mind – all the things that a father fears when faced with the first real perceived threat to his stewardship.

But I have to say that from the first moment that we actually met Phil any fears that I might have had were instantly dismissed ………those of you who know him particularly well will already be aware that he has many very similar qualities to our daughter and I am not going to embarrass him today by listing them here……… anyway I am sure Nick will make quite a good job of that later on………………………………………………
But there are a couple of things which I have to say I admire in him…………………… he knows his own mind and is fiercely independent and this coupled with all his other virtues make him a perfect person to carry on the task of giving our daughter the same love and support that I hope we have done over the last 25 years ………………….…
So Linda &amp I are delighted to pass on to you Philip this very important responsibility. It is without doubt the most important task of your entire life and I know that you will succeed in it.

P H I L A N D T HE H A N D O V E R
Anyway I only discovered earlier today Phil when I was chatting to Nick – your best man – that it was actually quite lucky that you and Katie got together when you did – do you remember?

It was a few weeks earlier than Katie &amp Phil's first date and Nick &amp Phil found themselves in most unusual situation for 2 young confident and eminently eligible bachelors …..they neither of them had a girlfriend……
Then Nick had a brainwave …..The Lonely Hearts Club were advertising a special offer – 2 for the price of one and as they both always had an eye for a bargain off went their application along with the requisite photo – to join the Lonely Hearts Club.

They were a little surprised when a few days later a letter came back returning their subscription and with it a short note from the admissions secretary which simply said –
Sorry we can't help you – EVEN WE HAVENT GOT ANYBODY THAT LONELY.
Only joking of course Phil ……..… Oh but please remember that this deal unlike anything you may have got through the Lonely Hearts…it IS permanent – this is NOT a Coop sale……this is NOT a Marks &amp Spencers bring it back if it doesn't fit or you change your mind …………there is NO SALE OR RETURN clause in a marriage contract. NOBODY CAN GET FIRED

Mentioning the word SALE reminds me of the time that we first started planning this wedding day in earnest some 12 months or so ago.
It came as quite a shock to realize that I had to actually GIVE something away – my beautiful daughter Katie. Now I have been an accountant for over 30 years and a business man for almost as long and anybody who knows me will tell you that generosity is not my strong suite and GIVE is not a word I normally use. I am much more familiar with the concept of transferring valuable items through the formal SELLING process.
Now its fairly obvious that before you can sell something you have to be able put a cash value on it and I quickly realized that had I been able to do that with Katie, then this marriage could not have taken place……… because NO ONE could afford the value I would have to put on my daughter.
BUT – YOU BECOMING OUR SON IN LAW AND SEEING HOW HAPPY YOU HAVE MADE MY DAUGHTER I AM PREPARED TO ACCEPT AS …..PAYMENT IN FULL…………….…

A D V I C E A N D W O R D S OF W I S D O M
Now it is traditional that at this stage I should try and give these 2 young people who are just starting out on their married life together some words of advice.

1/ It is a widely held belief that

A MAN IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL HE IS MARRIED,
THEN HE IS TRULY FINISHED

2/
Although as I mentioned earlier Linda and I have been married for over 35 years so you would expect that we have learned something in all that time which might help.
Some people have asked me the secret of our long marriage and I always tell them this.
However busy Linda &amp I have been we take time to go to a restaurant twice a week.
It is amazing what a little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing can do for a relationship.
She goes Tuesdays, I usually go on Fridays.&quot

3/
Oh and Phil…….Go easy on buying flowers……… it automatically makes you guilty of something even if you have done nothing wrong.
4/ Now both of you must by now realize that marriage is not easy and its not…..… but it is not impossible.
There are no secrets to a happy marriage. You'll both need to work at it like the rest of us.
But if I have learned anything during the last 35 years it is this. There is no challenge in a marriage that cannot be overcome by the following three, three-word sentences:-
I WAS WRONG….YOU WERE .RIGHT. and most important of all ….I LOVE YOU
NOW …NO MORE ADVICE, ANY MORE YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF
T H E T O A S T

Now you will be pleased to hear that I am not going to go on for very much longer…I see Linda's hand keeps moving towards the knife,

In any case its time I sat down and let the more important players onto the stage and I know that both Phil &amp Nick are just dying to get up and speak to you.

But before I do I would like to thank you once again for joining us today and hope that you continue to enjoy what has so far been a wonderful day for the now greatly extended Ellis &amp Halford families.

However I do hope that when you do eventually leave these celebrations that none of you will go home in the same mind as Groucho Marks who said to his host as he left yet another lavish Hollywood party

“Madam – I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it”.

Now on a much more serious note –

My last duty is to propose the toast to the happy couple

Now I have to tell you that when I first started planning this speech some weeks ago I searched high and low for some appropriate words to sum up my feelings for this part of the proceedings and although I found many different toasts I could not find any words more fitting than those I used at my first daughters wedding a couple of years ago….… so I make no apology for using them again.

So if you would please join me and be upstanding for my final duty today.

When children find true love – their parents find true joy

So Katie &amp Phil – here is to your love

and Sue And Les please join Linda &amp Myself in our joy as we all toast your bride and groom

TO PHIL &amp KATIE – the new Mr &amp Mrs Halford