Speech by Gary Jordan

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Gary Jordan
Speech Date: 03/11/2014 11:15:12

Ladies and Gentlemen

Now as I am sure you are all aware Laura has been organised, has done a risk assement of what is about happen. With this in mind Laura can I have my speech please………

So to begin I'd like to welcome – Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction, family, relatives, in-laws & out-laws, friends, friends of friends, freeloaders and anyone else who has turned out for a free food. It is my pleasure to welcome you all to the wedding celebrations of Laura & Matt. A special welcome goes to Matts parents, family & to all of you who have travelled from afar or not so far. Welcome to sunny Dorset!!

I must at this moment also make a special mention of Absent Friends some who are unable to attend and others who now looking down on us from the best seats in the house – The first toast today is to absent friends

A big thank you also goes to Laura and Matt who had very definite ideas on how they wanted today to be. Through their thoughtful planning and tireless efforts they have made today a tremendous success for everyone.

Now I'm not one to make many speeches and Laura with her Health and Safety head on said to me. Dad remember the ABC & XYZ of public speaking – ABC- Always Be Confident..… XYZ – Examine Your Zip!!!

With this in mind I do take great comfort in the knowledge that this is not the first time today that I have got up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand!

When I first met Matt a 16 year old teenager. The words that must come to ever daughters father went through my head Oh My God or for the younger element here today #OMG. However Matt has proven numerous times what you see is certainly NOT always what you get – although shame you haven't got rid of that Chelsea habit.

Now is the point where Laura probable wishes she had written my speech.

Laura has had few relationships starting at about 3 years old with Charlie from Casualty, then there was the hamster, cats, dogs then she fortunately realised that boys existed.

I am sure you are all aware of how hard working Laura is. From her early school days right though her teenage years now as she has grown into the women she is and where she is today. Laura I am proud of the person you have turned into……makes note must try harder!!

Laura you are sensitive, intelligent and have a sense of humour examples of which I feel I should share with you all now.

Her sensitive side came to the fore not long after moving to Bournemouth. A tearful 10 year old Laura came back to the house and asked for a spade. She collected the spade and her skateboard and walked off. Worried why I followed Laura down the road. She had been playing with her sisters when she startled a squirrel which ran out into the road and was hit by a car and then numerous others . She scooped the squirrel up off the road with the spade put it on the skateboard and went off down the Alum Chine to bury the squirrel.

Intelligence – An intelligence that many women don't posses. She actually understands the off side rule.

Humour – How we laughed when she was born.

No but seriously. We have all laughed with and at Laura. But never have I heard in her voice the joy of when she told me that they were engaged. That joy I see in her face today. Laura has always deserved a good husband, how lucky you are Matt to have married her before she found one!!

Today I had the honour of walking my daughter down the aisle and the magic was tinged with a little sadness – magical because I felt like a King escorting his Princess into the next part of her life. Sadness because she no longer will be my little Princess.

As I near the end of this speech to let the others loose on you. I thought I would ask that Laura to place her hand closest to Matt flat on the table. Then Matt can you place your hand on top of Lauras hand. How does that feel Matt……..that will be the last time you will have the Upper Hand.

Finally there are two important things I must do first one is to welcome Matt into the Jordan family which is easy as he is most welcome. The second is to offer advice to both of you on how to enjoy your lives together. One thing for sure is it ain't going to be easy.

I thought of the Olympics last year and I would relate marriage to the Olympics – this is a marathon and not a sprint. Plenty of hurdles along the way, but as long s you strive and work as a team you will always achieve the success you truly deserve.

To Matt – A great philosopher once said, a man who gives in when he's wrong is a wise man: A man who gives in when he's right….is married!

To Laura – Laura when you want something from Matt, just ask for it – don't forget he's a man and hints don't work!!

Laura and Matt – May the road you choose be smooth and your burdens be light; May your joy be everlasting and may all your pain be…..champagne

Ladies & Gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the new Mr and Mrs Pollard. Laura and Matt.