Speech by Greg Carns

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Greg Carns
Speech Date: Aug 2001
Ladies and gentlemen. I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat…..if I go on too long Joan has threatened to cut it.

As it is my privilege to make the first speech I would like to start by saying that Joan and I and Betty and Ronnie, David's parents, would sincerely like to welcome today, relatives and friends of both families to this very happy occasion.

We are very proud today to see Alison looking so beautiful and finally married to David. When Alison asked me to give her away I considered it to be a great honour and a privilege to stand in as the father of the bride. Alison's father would be extremely proud of her today and I am sure that Brian will be looking down at us all today, wishing Alison and David all the best for the future.

I would like you all to join me in a toast to the happy memory of Brian. Ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses to Brian.

Before I ask you all to join me in a toast to the Bride and Groom, I would like to bore you with a few more words. I will try to keep it short, as I know that Martin, David's best man is really looking forward to giving you his speech…..aren't you Martin?Being asked to be best man really is a tough job, rather like being asked to go on a date with the Queen Mother….it's a great honour but no-one really wants to do it.

While preparing my speech I got thinking about how long I have known Alison and I was surprised to discover that it is nearly twenty years. In that time she has matured into a well balanced and sensible young woman. Alison is friendly, thoughtful, considerate and fun-loving.

Alison is a lovely girl and deserves a good husband. David, you're very lucky that she married you before she found one.

I'm only joking of course. Since I first met David we have become good friends and have a couple of common interests…drinking beer…and drinking more beer. David is a very likeable person, easy going, generous, polite and popular. He is a great credit to his parents, Betty and Ronnie and after spending the stag weekend with Ronnie I can see where he gets these qualities from. It is a real pleasure to welcome him formally to the family. What we find gratifying is that David's parents feel the same about Alison. They have taken her into their hearts, and I believe that Alison is a real favourite with Betty and Ronnie.

I thought that I would give you a brief history of the happy couple. David was born in 1968, the same year in which scientists devised the epidural to ease the pain of childbirth. Unfortunately for David they haven't yet devised anything to ease the pain of marriage.

Alison was born in 1970, the year in which the 1000th episode of Coronation Street was screened. I'm led to believe that she hasn't missed many episodes since then.

Alison and David met in 1995. Alison had an evening job at David's local, the Bird in Hand. Alison immediately caught David's eye and he fancied his chances of taming the fiery new barmaid. On being thrown his change across the bar one night David's eyes met Alison's. I would like to say that it was Love at first sight. A first date to Blackpool followed one Sunday in November 1995 and the rest as they say is history.

In fact it's taken nearly six years for Alison and David to get here today. Their “lightening romance” reminds me of a story about a couple who were engaged for 30 years. Eventually, the wife to be laid on a nice candle lit dinner for her intended, with champagne, the works and whispered romantically “Isn't it time we thought about getting married?” “Good heavens” he replied “who would have us now”.

They say that music is the food of Love. That may well be true. Looking back to chart toppers on this day I found a few appropriate songs. In 1959 there was “a big hunk of Love” by Elvis Presley, and in 1967 “light my Fire “ by the doors and “I was made to love her” by Stevie Wonder were top of the pops on this day.

I have to say that Alison and David are very well suited, aren't they? They're happy and they love each other. That should be enough to see them through life together. I think at this point to finish off I am supposed to give some worldly advice on a happy marriage.. Well David, I can offer three pieces of advice:-

First:- In the words of Charlton Heston, the key to a long and happy marriage is to remember these three words, “I was wrong”.

Second:- In the words of Oscar Wilde “Women are meant to be loved and not understood”.

And Third:- “Always put the seat down after you”.

But seriously though, if any words of advice spring to mind, the first would be Love, closely followed by Friendship, Tolerance and Communication.

It now gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple.…

Here's to the past, for all that you've learned.

Here's to the present, for all that you share.

Here's to the future, for all that you look forward to TOGETHER..Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the Bride and Groom, Alison and David.