Speech by Howard Fincher

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Howard Fincher
Speech Date: Jul 2002
It is my privilege to make the first speech, and then it will be my pleasure to ask you to honour the toast of A*** and N***. And after the toast, both A*** and N*** will say a few words.

First of all, on behalf of Y*** and myself, I want to welcome you to this special celebration. It is good for A*** to be surrounded by so many relations and friends who have been important to her. We are, of course, delighted that both of A***’s grandmothers are here, and that all of A***’s godparents are here.

And to all of you, who have travelled great distances to be here today, thank you so much for coming.

I feel that special mention must be made of those who represent N***’s family in El Salvador. We are delighted that N***’s father, O***, and T***, who is known to N*** as a dear sister – we are delighted that they are here with us this afternoon.

O*** e T***, estamos encantados con su presencia esta tarde.

I now want to say a few words about A*** and N***, and I have chosen the word ADVENTURE as the basis for my remarks because it is clear to me that both A*** and N*** possess a spirit of ADVENTURE.

Some of A***’s early projects might have given us a clue. I can remember A*** learning some Arabic for a school play. I can remember A*** volunteering for extra Japanese culture lessons in the school lunch-hour. I can remember A*** flying off to Bordeaux, for an extra holiday on her own, when she was barely a teenager. A***’s spirit of ADVENTURE was only just beginning to blossom.

When my daughters were very young, I used to give them 10p if they could find five places from the days news in an atlas. Little did I realise that I would have to get out my atlas to keep up with all the places in which A*** would have an ADVENTURE as a student.

First, there was Bolivia. Here A*** did an upgrade, from building a rabbit hutch in the back garden at home to building a church half way up the side of the Andes Mountains. The next summer, A*** went away to Armenia. Twelve months later, A*** was spending a summer vacation doing some challenging work in Mexico City. In between these ADVENTURES, A*** found the time to gain a good degree. And as soon as she had done that, A*** plunged herself into an intensive course that qualified her to teach English as a foreign language.

And, as if further proof was needed of A***’s spirit of ADVENTURE, after I obtained my private pilot's licence, A*** was the first person to fly with me as a passenger … and to survive.

A*** has also been learning Spanish recently. And Spanish is one of those languages in which every noun has to be masculine or feminine. It's been an education in gender difference. For example, there is discussion, if not controversy, about whether the Spanish for COMPUTER is masculine or feminine.

And that reminds me of the STORY of the Spanish language teacher, who divided the class into groups of men and women, and who asked them to decide whether COMPUTER was masculine or feminine, and why.

The MEN decided that COMPUTER was definitely FEMININE because:
1 no one but their creator understands their internal logic,
2 the native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else, and,
3 even the smallest mistakes are stored in its long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

The WOMEN, however, concluded that COMPUTER was MASCULINE because:
1 in order to get their attention you have to turn them on,
2 they have a lot of data, but are still clueless, and,
3 they are supposed to help you SOLVE problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

Through all these ADVENTURES, A*** has been maturing into a well-balanced and sensible young woman – friendly, thoughtful, considerate and fun-loving. Yes, A*** has a very impish sense of humour, and it can become very focussed and roguish especially on April Fool's Day.

I can remember A*** setting me up for a sixty-mile car journey – and then at the last minute reminding me that it was April the first. In this respect, I have the feeling that A*** has met her match in N***. I have had some reports that suggest N*** can be just as big a leg-puller as A***.

A***, my dream was that you would grow up in a world where women would have the same aspirations and opportunities as men. You were born in 1979, and in that year of female achievements, the first woman Prime Minister came into 10 Downing Street, and Mother Teresa was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

However, also in 1979, our newspapers carried reports of turbulent times in a small Central American country called El Salvador. A few days before A*** was born, a couple of dozen demonstrators were killed outside the Cathedral in San Salvador. And before A*** was one year old, many of us will remember that Archbishop Oscar Romero was shot dead in his cathedral while he was preaching.

Thankfully, those turbulent times in El Salvador were formally ended in 1991 when a Treaty of Peace was signed. And so it was, just four years ago, when the last football World Cup was in progress, an ADVENTUROUS young man from El Salvador came to R*** to continue his English studies, and he visited R*** Church one Sunday morning. The rest, as they say, is history.

Before I met N***, I was glad to hear that A*** and her housemates had screened him. In their Oxford house, A***, E***, Z*** and I*** devised a series of 64 criteria to ascertain the degree of perfection in a young man. And these 64 criteria were prominently displayed in the house such that all male visitors knew that they were being scrutinised. I was pleased to hear that N*** scored 62 out of a possible 64. Apparently, his two shortcomings were, first, that he was not Prince William, and, second, that he liked watching “Grandstand”.

N***, we are delighted to welcome you formally into the family. I want you to know that I took an instant liking to you when I first met you – even though you had all the things I didn't have – good looks, youth, and lots of hair.

During the time I have known him, I have come to realise how special N*** is to A*** and to see his ability to make A*** happy. For reasons we all know, they have had to spend long times apart. However, they have shown their commitment to each other during these enforced times of separation.

A*** and N***, you have come to a threshold – a threshold between desire and reality. We believe that the evangelical ADVENTURE in love and forgiveness will carry you over this threshold as you seek the way ahead together. I want you to know that we love you and support you in all the adjustments you will be making in the days and weeks to come.

Friends, A*** and N*** are here before us in all their youthful beauty and glowing charm. And I invite you now to stand, and to join me in taking your glass to drink a toast to two very special ADVENTUROUS people … to the health and happiness of A*** and N***.