Speech by Ian King

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Ian King
Speech Date: Sep2004
Good afternoon and welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I would like to thank you all for coming today and helping Louise and Ian celebrate this important day in their lives.

Before I begin my little talk to you all today I would like to introduce myself.

My name is Ian and I am Louise's dad, more formerly known today as the “father of the bride” – a bride who I think we all agree looks so beautiful and absolutely stunning in her magnificent wedding dress.

I would also like to introduce you to Louise's mum, my lovely shy, retiring wife, Margaret, who is seated on my left.
We have been happily married for 6 years, which isn't too bad out of a total of 34!!
And yes, I do realise that the Great Train Robbers endured a shorter sentence.

Before I ask you to join me in a toast to the Bride and Groom I would like to say a few words. I will try to keep them as short as possible as I know that Bridegroom Ian and his Best Man Ian are impatiently awaiting their turn in standing here before you to make their speeches!!!

To continue in a serious vein, Margaret and I are delighted to see Louise looking so happy, on this, her wedding day, and now married to Ian.
During the time that we have known Ian we've come to realise how special he is to her and she is to him and Margaret and I would like to take this opportunity to welcome him with open arms into our family.

Now Lou, this is the point in time that every daughter fears — what is Dad going to talk about, is he going to tell about the time when?
Well don't worry your secrets are safe – well nearly all of them.

Seriously though, Margaret and I are very proud of Louise – she has brightened our lives – mainly by constantly leaving all the lights on!! AND she's always had plenty to say – usually on our telephone talking to her friend Tanya, who lives next door!!
I'm only joking of course she's a lovely girl and very special to us.

As a toddler she showed early promise both as a cook and as a gourmet.
As an illustration of her cooking skills, she would regularly prepare beautiful mud pies in the back garden – ably assisted by her next door neighbour friend Rebecca.

She once illustrated her gourmet tendencies and catering talents by tasting with her friends, the unusual and exotic green vegetable from “the Pea tree” commonly known to you and I as a Laburnum tree and then showed her catering skills by a organising a “sick” party at the A & E department at the Royal Infirmary!!

Once the date was set I asked Louise what she was looking for in her marriage and she said, love, happiness and companionship.
Later I asked Ian the same question and after a little hesitation he eventually said “a wide screen TV and the Sky Sports Channel”

Apparently it is traditional for the brides father to offer some worldly thoughts and advise about marriage, during the last 34 years I have learnt a few things about it so here goes.

To Louise – remember that the definition of a perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the ironing.

To Ian – remember that a man is incomplete until he finds a wife – then he is finished.

And another thing Ian, never go to sleep with an unfinished argument hanging over you. Be a man, stay awake, and fight to the bitter end! You're going to lose anyway so you might as well get it over and done with.

I'll end these thoughts with the best that I can think of – the key to a long and successful marriage is always to remember those two very important phrases “YES DEAR” and “OK BUY IT”

Now to the serious stuff – proper advise – well just keep these four things in mind,
The first is love, closely followed by friendship, tolerance and communication – all quite easy to say but they can be quite hard to do.

There's no secret to a happy marriage – you'll both have to work at it, like many of us, but there's no challenge in a marriage that cannot be overcome by the following three word sentences.

These are:
I was wrong,
You were right,
I love you,

Finally we all wish you a wonderful marriage and hope that you have a really great honeymoon, which, Ian, you will find out is the period between “I do” and “you'd better”

I can see that Louise is eyeing the knife in front of her rather ominously so I think it is about time I sat down.

Before I do it gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple.

“May you live as long as you wish, and have all you wish for, as long as you live”

Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the Bride and Groom, Louise and Ian.