Speech by Jack
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Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Jack
Speech Date: SEP 2004
On behalf of Margaret & myself and of George and Maureen, it is a great pleasure to welcome you all to the celebration. Firstly, thank you all for coming along & thanks to George & Maureen for their generous help in putting all this together. Although to be fair, Teresa has worked very hard at it and has kept us all on our toes.
If you wed in bleak November
Only joys will come, remember.
Married in veils of November mist,
Fortune your wedding ring has kissed.
The 15th November was Jean Berry's birthday, she would have loved to be here.
Pete & Teresa were born 1976 – the year of the 1st commercial Concorde flight. Teresa & Pete met way back in 1994 at a party. Pete said it took him nearly 3 months after that to “track her down”. Well, it took us another nine years to get them here.
Seriously though, they are very good for each other and I know that Pete will take very good care of Teresa and Teresa will take even more good care of Pete.
“Marriage is a sort of friendship recognised by the police”.
Pete, I don't need to tell you but this woman, my lovely daughter, is dangerous. It may have been George, or perhaps it was the guy at Strathclyde, who described Teresa characteristics as “Karate with a touch of compassion” . Teresa won her first karate trophy when she was 9.
MARIA HUZ TOOK UP THE JUDO.
SHE'S BEEN AT IT FOR 2 OR 3 WEEKS
YE WID LAUGH AT HER JAPANESE JAIKET
AN’ HER WIDE PERRA JAPANESE BREEKS
SHE COMES BREENGIN’ HAME AFTER EACH LESSON,
WI’ A NEW WAY TAE FLATTEN A MAN,
FOR THE HEID FELLA SAYS SHE'S IMPROVIN’,
THAT'S HIM SHE KEEPS CALLIN’ – BLACK DAN
AN’ SHE WANTS YOU TO BE HER OPPONENT
SHE GETS MAD WHEN YE DON'T TAKE HER ON,
SHE SAYS – SEE YOU YA WEE BACKLE,
AH COULD MELT YOU WI JUST THE WAN HAUN.
Thanks, to XXXXXX YYYYYY (and Jimmy Copeland) for the pome.
A piece of advice you often hear at a wedding is never to go to bed on an argument, stay up & fight. In Pete's case, that might not be the best idea.
There was a priest and a minister at this wedding – and when the priest was offered a drink for the toasts, he said “I'll have a large whisky, please”. The minister said “No thank you, I'd sooner go with a scarlet woman than touch a drop of the demon alcohol”. The priest put the whisky back on the tray & said “I didn't know there was a choice”.
Des, please have a drink, there are no scarlet women today. I must thank Des for the Mass. His calm and unruffled approach today & in the last week has been a big help. Thank you, again.
Teresa & Pete had a present this year of 2 budgies. Teresa loves them dearly & has not only taught them to speak but they can recite the rosary and use the beads at the same time. Pete was so impressed he went out & bought a female budgie, which he put in the cage with the others & the 1st budgie said “Throw away your beads George, our prayers have been answered.”.
Pete, we are delighted to (finally) welcome you to the family. After 9 years as an outlaw, I guess you are now an in-law.
Please be upstanding & join me in a toast to the bride & groom – Teresa & Pete.
