Speech by Jackie stirling

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Jackie stirling
Speech Date: 07/09/2015 09:32:52

As Henry 8th said to each of his wives in turn, “I won't keep you very long.”

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Jackie, Lesley Ann's dad and I have the pleasure of making the first speech.

Fathers are naturally biased about their daughters but I'm sure you'll all agree that Lesley Ann looks absolutely stunning—

The bridesmaids look amazing also, I had forgotten what our Andrea actually looked like in something other than pyjamas ——

“I must admit, I'm slightly nervous today. I really hope those Imodium kick in real soon—– I've only had to stand up in front of a big crowd like this once before – and that was only to say ‘GUILTY YOUR HONOUR’…”

Ladies and Gentlemen  On behalf of Liz myself also Maggie and John I'd like to thank all of you for being here today to be part of Lesley Ann and Roberts Big day, especially those of you who have travelled to be here.

I must say I am a little disappointed because as my side of the family have Scottish blood, I had been hoping that we might be wearing kilts today. But Robert was very keen to wear a suit because after today Lesley Ann will be wearing the trousers.

Having said that I'm very proud to stand here on the day that my daughter becomes Roberts's wife and I look upon today as not necessarily losing a daughter, but gaining a son…… And Robert and Lesley Ann have such a good understanding of each other Lesley Ann talks and Robert listens

In the run-up to today Lesley Ann and Robert had a bit of an issue with the seating plan, they couldn't decide who to put where. So as father of the bride, I offered to help work it out. Well we finally decided to use the wedding present list as a guide. So we put those who bought most expensive items nearest the front, and work back from there. So if you can hear me at the back Jeremy the happy couple said cheers for the oven glove…… (Oh! Lesley Ann said “can she have the other one for their 1st anniversary?”)

A wedding is a time for joy and fun, with friends and family gathered to see the happy couple off as they start their new life. But it is a time, too, when our thoughts inevitably turn to those people who have meant so much to our families, but can't be here today.

Lesley Ann and Robert decided that as part of their favours they would make a donation so each person would have a suicide awareness badge in memory of friends and family members no longer with us, so let us stand to remember them and raise a glass to absent friends and family. ———-

Now, I'm under strict orders from Lesley Ann to say nothing about her early years that would seriously embarrass her . . . . . so I'm afraid that leaves me with absolutely nothing more to say! . . . . . I've been told not even to mention that when she started to crawl around the floor, and started dribbling everywhere then started trying to stand on those wobbly wee legs and wetting in her Pants . . . . . and that was just her 18th birthday ——–

Lesley Ann I've promised that I won't embarrass you TO MUCH and I'll keep that promise. Though your Mum will be going from table to table later to tell as many embarrassing stories as she can remember

Lesley Ann came into this world on the 15th March 1983 that's 11,849 days ago

And I remember shortly after the birth, the midwife saying to me ‘She looks just like your wife. Then she realised her mistake, and turned her the right way round!

She was born the week of the Cheltenham festival and named after a race horse hence the nickname NED which she still gets called by some friends and family members——though Until not that long ago most people guessed she was called NED because of the size of her horsey teeth ——-All through primary school she was model pupil except for one afternoon when she came home late with her pockets full of money and a big smile on her face, so Liz ask her where she got all the money to which NED replied I went round the doors collecting for “the blind people” and now I have all this money for sweets——- needless to say Liz marched her to the shops and made her put every penny into the charity box , as you can guess she wasn't a happy bunny ———another little story , Lesley Ann is a real bossy boots as many of you know 1st hand—–  Her and our Stewart where out playing on a new bike which within minutes had got broken, so I called them in and ask which one had broken the bike to which they both looked at each other but said nothing .so I sent them both to Stewart's room until the culprit owned up , so I put them both into the room and closed the door tightly but stood outside with my ear to the door for a few minutes listening to the one sided one speaker argument which went something like this—- “Stewart go tell daddy it was you”, Stewart no reply—-Stewart go tell daddy it was you” again no reply then getting louder  Stewart go tell daddy it was you” to which Stewart plucked the courage to say ” but it wasn't me it was you Lesley Ann” to which she replied ” we both know it was me but I'm not taking the blame for that now go tell daddy it was you I have managed to get my hands on a few photos of Lesley Ann from her Ashfield days supplied by an anonymous donor, thanks Clare ——— the photos can be laughed at any time tonight by asking me to let you see them

And just a few words of advice to Robert “make the most of the honeymoon period” – that's the time between “I will” and before it changes to “You'd better”

And lastly  I know the best man Willie is busting to stand and entertain you all for the next 20 min, so here is a little speech advice Willie——-

Two rules  ABC- Always Be Confident

And more importantly before you stand up

XYZ – Examine Your Zip

I would like at this point I would like to ask Lesley Ann and Robert to do something “Robert “take Lesley Ann's hand and place your hand on top of hers. Now, Robert remember this moment and cherish it forever … because this will be the last time you'll ever have the upper hand!”

Just a final observation THIS MUST BE AN EMOTIONAL WEDDING – BECAUSE EVEN THE CAKE'S IN TIERS

My final duty and very great privilege is to propose a toast to our daughter and new son-in law. ————

We wish you

Fun and excitement for today

Hopes and dreams for tomorrow

and Love and happiness forever

Lesley Ann and Robert may your marriage be a truly happy one, may you begin with an unforgettable honeymoon in Dubai and The Maldives and afterwards may you have a long and wonderful life together.

I am also sure that the loved ones that are no longer with us,are looking down from the best seats in the house – and will be wishing you both all the best in this new chapter in your lives together,

It is my very great pleasure to propose the first toast to the happy couple. So could I ask you please be upstanding and raise your glasses

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, Mr& Mrs Mcconachie THE BRIDE AND GROOM