Speech by Jeff Garlick

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Jeff Garlick
Speech Date: Feb2007
As father of the bride, it is my privilege to make the first speech. Somebody should tell my stomach that it's a privilege! This is the fourth time in the last hour I have stood up from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand!

A good speech, they say, should be like a mini-skirt, short enough to be interesting, Pause and long enough to cover the essentials.
So THIS IS going to be a short speech.

To prove it is short You will see that I only have one page of notes wave – so I promise not to bore you. At this stage I drop a set of blank postcards that I have selotaped together to form one long concatenated document – gives a good effect from the starting point of a small postcard – guaranteed to get a laugh!

To find out how to cover the essentials for a Father of the Bride speech I did what everyone does these days and cheat and trawl the internet.
Apparently The Father of the Bride has 4 areas to cover in his speech:

1 To welcome everyone here to this fine occasion
2 To say a few words about the bride in a loving and balanced way
3 to give some words of advice to the happy couple and
4 finally to give the first of the toasts to Peter and Terri.

So No 1.

On behalf of Myself, Janet , Sheila , Keith and Julia may I welcome you all to the wedding reception for Peter and Terri Laybourn.

After all these years of saying Terri Garlick , Terri Laybourn sounds sort of strange. Being keen on the roots of names I actually took the trouble to delve further into the meaning of the name Peter Laybourn.

Peter, obviously, goes back to the bible and means ‘Follower’ as per the disciples. Laybourn , apparently it goes back to Roman times and means – I quote – ‘Rubbish football team’. So Peter Laybourn – effectively means Follower of Rubbish Football Team He supports Blackburn Rovers.
Some of you may not know that Peter chose the traditional route to ask me for my consent to the marriage – he got Terri to send me a text.

It's true – I remember it well it was December 16th 2005 – Friday morning 15 minutes past midnight. This text arrived that just said ‘ Dad just agreed to get married’. Short and sweet
I replied even shorter and said ‘Who to !!’

Anyway enough of Peter and on to my loving and balanced words about Terri.

I must start by saying – don't you think she looks absolutely gorgeous. I am so proud to be stood up here as her father.

She has really grown up quickly it doesn't seem long ago that Terri was running around the garden with no knickers on – eating mud . I'm glad to say – that she's – stopped eating mud.

While preparing this speech I was getting a little sentimental and decided to get out a few old photograph albums. – Pause – Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned the pages and the one picture that stood out from the others was the striking photograph of my precious daughter lying on a rug, dribbling and pointing at the camera lens. What a treasure she looked as she tried to stand on her little wobbly legs… Pause she'll never forget her 18th birthday.

Going back to the internet – there were all these example speeches where Fathers were recounting great tales of their daughter's academic and sporting achievements. University degrees here, pony club champion there – you name it and their daughters had done it. But I can also stand up here and feel the same sense of pride at what Terri has achieved – Not a lot of you will know this but Ladies and Gentlemen in Terri you are looking at the 1988 Junior Isle of Wight Limbo Dancing Champion – it's true. Age of 8 – saw them all off.

All joking apart –at this point I am the proudest man in the world .
SO ONTO MY THIRD JOB – OFFER BITS OF ADVICE

Mainly for Peter really:

Remember Peter that a man is not complete until he finds a wife – then he's finished.

And

Just remember that a man who gives in when he is WRONG is a WISE man. But a man who gives in when he is RIGHT is – married!
SO my final duty thank god I hear you all say is to propose a toast to Peter and Terri. So please be upstanding. Come on the Internet says stand up

SO LET””S PLEASE DRINK THE MOST IMPORTANT TOAST OF THE DAY
TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE OF THE DAY
TO THE BRIDE &amp GROOM