Speech by Jimmy

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Jimmy
Speech Date: Aug 2002
(Clear Throat)
I'll try to keep this speech short because of my throat; …if I go on too long my wife Shelagh has threatened to cut it.

I've got strict instructions.…
Not to tell jokes… & To keep it short…
She's also reminded me about the ABC and XYZ of public speaking…
ABC … – Always be confident..
XYZ … – eXamine your zip.…

So bearing that in mind, I'll begin by thanking you all for coming to this very happy occasion. Many of you have taken the trouble to travel from places as far away as Cambridge, Barry and even Cardiff, So we are grateful to you for that.

Today has been a very special day and one that I will never forget..… I think you will all agree that David and especially Joanne have done a wonderful job of planning their wedding, right down to the very last detail. When I first heard that Joanne wanted her wedding in a Castle, I wasn't sure what to expect. But today has so far exceeded anything I could have ever imagined.

Apparently Joanne, This is the moment that I remonis, and tell everyone stories of you growing up.

Joanne was never a shy or quiet child. She was always centre of attention. At the early age of 5 she joined dancing school, and I didn't see her again until she was 17, when funnily enough David came on the scene.

We have watched Joanne grow up and supported her with her dancing. She did dancing shows, carnivals, pantomimes and so on. I sat back while she danced on stage in skimpy costumes that were enough to make any man blush.
Ginger Rogers took second place when Joanne was on stage, but today Joanne & David both take centre stage.

If Jo's dancing costumes were skimpy, they were nothing compared to the outfits her & Becky would wear clubbing on a Saturday night. I remember the mini skirts and wonder-bras – (all boobs & bums). And don't mention the whisky and fags that she thought I didn't know about.
I'm glad to say that these were a few of things that David soon put a stop to.

I was telling Joanne the other day that, because I was worried about choking up, I wouldn't be able to say nice things about her today. Being the modest person that she is, She put her hands on her hips and said: "Well somebody had better say something nice!"

Shelagh and I are very proud, to see Joanne, looking so radiant, on this her wedding day.
I think everyone will agree, she looks more beautiful than anyone could imagine.
I've had a lump in my throat all day, and Shelagh has been crying since the engagement. (tears of joy obviously).

I remember the day I met David. As I said, Joanne was a young 17, David was a 21yearold boy racer. He turned up in a turbo escort with Night Rider style flashing red lights, and ‘Go Faster’ stripes down the sides. I remember thinking: Thank God she's only 17, imagine if she ended up marrying someone like that!!

But seriously he seemed a nice enough lad.

David became one of the family from DAY ONE, but I would like to formerly take this opportunity to welcome him into the family. BUT DAVID. I would just like to say that no matter what happens, PLEASE REMEMBER There are no returns or refunds – even with a receipt!

I'm proud that Joanne has married David. He's a very special young man. He's a Cardiff City Supporter so he can't be all bad.

Seriously, I can proudly stand here and say, I haven't lost a daughter but gained another son.

I recently asked Joanne, what she was looking for in marriage. She said love, happiness and eventually a family. Later, I asked David the same question, and after a little hesitation he eventually said, "I'd really like a new garden fence!"

David, I'll end with the best advice that I can think of: The key to a long and happy marriage is to always remember those most important words; “Yes dear!”

I would like to ask those here present today to join me in a toast to wish my daughter and her new husband all the luck in the world.
I would like to wish them a long and happy life together.

So
Ladies and Gentlemen please all stand…
It gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple.
“To … Joanne & David”

Well, that was it! The great day is half over!. One down – one to go! – Daughters, that is!

I know that both David and Nathan are both really looking forward to standing here before you and making their speeches, so thank you all for listening, and I hope everyone enjoys today as much as I am.

THANKYOU