Speech by John Armstrong

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: John Armstrong
Speech Date: 16/11/2011 05:45:21

Thank you Neil and good evening friends, family, Celeste and Matthew.

I am John, and today I very proudly carry the title “Farther of the Groom”.

And as Henry the Eighth told each of his wives, “I shall not keep you long”.

It would be fair to say that I have been preparing for my speech this evening for almost 27 and a half years now.

So I jumped on the internet this morning, and found this. I've been so busy today I haven't had a chance to fully read through it yet – so here's hoping it's a good one.

But seriously today is a very special day.  A day for us all to be together and to celebrate Matt and Celeste's marriage. Matthew is Mary and my first son, older brother of Andrew and Jonny.  Matt was born on the other side of the world in London – coincidentally in the same hospital as his great grandfather from whom he got his middle name Frank.

Before he was 2, he had already travelled one and a half times round the world – no doubt a factor behind the passion for travel that he shares with Celeste.

Matt grew up as a bright bubbly kid, always with a positive outlook, someone wanting to make the most out of life.  He has always enjoyed a wide group of true friends and has an extended family who all just love having him about.

Matt was that special soft of guy who one day was destined to meet that special sort of girl. We first heard about Celeste when she was on the other side of the world in a threesome with Matt and Karen – Karen of course being that notoriously unreliable Fiat camper van that they toured around Europe in.

Back here in New Zealand, the family loved reading the emails and seeing the photos of their European adventures.  And reading between the lines, we did have a sense that this young lady might perhaps be something a little bit special.

However after travelling for the European summer, Celeste returned back home to New Zealand, leaving Matt to carry on with his OE working in a cold London winter.

The day before Christmas Celeste when she phoned to say she was coming round to drop off Christmas presents Matt had given her to bring home for us.

On arrival, Celeste asked Mary for a hand to get the presents from the car.  Opening the boot, she found the best present we got that Christmas – Matt burst out to hug his mother who by this stage had tears of joy.

And over that happy Christmas holiday time, we got to know Celeste and noticed an extra sparkle in Matt's eyes.  We knew this was something very special.

It has been wonderful seeing Matt and Celeste's relationship blossom– together they are making their own life sharing the things they enjoy.

One such thing they particularly enjoy are Pub Quizzes – of course they just had to have one at the wedding today, and most Tuesday evenings you can find them down at the Two Fat Cows with their Pub Quiz team called “We're better at bingo”.

You can tell they genuinely love doing this because I can assure you they are not doing it for the weekly prize money!

And it was at one of these Tuesday pub quizzes that I first met Celeste's lovely mum Denise.

Funnily enough Mary and I hosted our own Christmas pub quiz for our neighbours and that was where we first met Celeste's dad Neil, who along with Trish and Kyle who put on a fantastic impromptu nativity scene that scooped the grand prize when the quiz tied in a draw.

So Celeste, as well being blessed with a daughter in law today, it is so wonderful that our family has now grown to merge with yours.

Being part of the countdown to this big day has been interesting.

Watching the pair of you handled the challenges, joys and occasional stresses of these last few days has given us an insight into the strength of your relationship.

One particular element of the couple that Mary and I discovered was exactly who wears the pants in the family.

Amid the chaos of Tuesday afternoon's last minute wedding preparation tasks, and with a list a mile long of things to get done before heading off the following morning, Celeste completely reprioritised Matt's day and marched him off to town for – get this – a manicure.

Matt just because the word starts with the word “man” it doesn't make it right!

Celeste – I must warn you that my father's “always be organised and never be late” genes have now skipped two generations and instead Matt has inherited a good dollop of my “do-it-at-the-last-minute” genes.

And with this in mind I really must divert from usual wedding proceedings for just one moment for an outstanding job that is now around 17 months overdue.

Celeste you have surely noticed you are marrying into a family with some quirky – some would say even say whacky – traditions.

Mary and I gave our brothers and sisters garden gnomes for their engagements – it took a while but we finally found the one for you – so if it's not too late “Happy Engagement Matt and Celeste”.

Celeste – Mary and I are just so happy you found Matt and you two are off to start your own lives together.

And if ever we feel a tiny tinge of sadness that our boy has left our home for another, we simply open the door to our spare bedroom and gaze at your collective junk piled high to the ceiling and realise the reality that your kids actually never leave home.  Oh and in case the junk in the house is not enough of a reminder then your abandoned vehicles parked in our driveway do the trick nicely.

Matt – as you know, your mum and I are so happy you found Celeste – she really is the perfect match for you in every way.

And Celeste, Matt really is also the exact perfect match for you – except that is for just one minor imperfection.

According to this evening's timetable, that one imperfection will be exposed for all to see soon after we've all finished desert.

That young girl who dreamed of being a dancer when she grew up will discover as she glides gracefully around the dance floor that her new husband inherited his sense of rhythm entirely from his father's genes.

In conclusion I did read where the father of the groom should offer some advice for the newly wed couple.

When I look at the sparkle of true love in each of your eyes, it is plain for all to see that you really are the perfect match for one another.

Yours is going to be a wonderful lifelong marriage and frankly I can't think of any further advice I need to give such a perfect couple.

However I do have a couple of words of wisdom just for you Matt. Today is a very special day.

Every year on the 12 of November, you must pause from the daily comings and goings of life.

And every year on this very special day you must again the treat your beautiful bride to the sort of passionate romantic surprises that only you can do, just like your awesome engagement proposal.

And finally Matthew if today you only take away just one gem of wisdom from your very very proud father this evening, let it is this:

Pause Pause Pause

THE most effective way to ensure you always remember your anniversary is simply – just to forget it once.

Ladies and gentlemen – a toast to this perfect couple – Celeste and Matt.