Speech by John Coulter

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: John Coulter
Speech Date: Sep 2000
Ladies and Gentlemen

I am only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat,.… If I go on long too long Val has threatened to cut it.

I've tried to memorize this speech which isn't easy when you have the memory retention of a goldfish so forgive me if resort to my notes every five seconds. I did ask for an autocue to be set up in front of me, but apparently the wedding budget doesn't stretch that far..… And neither does my eyesight.

This takes me back to the last occasion that I was called upon to say a few words at a wedding. It was 31 years ago next month and it was my wedding to Helen's Mum Val.

I recall being totally lost for anything of any consequence to say. A feeling of total inadequacy descended upon me. It was a new experience to me. I was young and really knew nothing about being inadequate.

At the wedding the vicar noticed that Val was in some distress and so asked her what was wrong. She said she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The vicar told her that she need only remember 3 things.
First the aisle because that is what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the altar because that is where you'll arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.

While Val was walking to the wedding march my family and friends were horrified to hear her mutter under her breath Aisle, Altar, Hymn (I'll alter him) She has been keeping me on the straight and narrow ever since.

Clearly large family events like todays don't just happen. They take a considerable amount of hard work and organisation and it would seem an appropriate point, therefore, for me to ask you all to join me in a toast to the present Mrs. Coulter, as without her constant hard work and diligence, today would have been a shambles.

My wife- Val!

No! I haven't quite finished- because my next toast is to the bride and groom.

Some time ago I asked Carl what he was looking for in a marriage and he said love, happiness and companionship. I asked Helen the same question and she said a toaster!

Seriously, though Helen has always been a number one in our lives. She was a much-wanted first child and daughter, the first niece to our siblings and the first grand child for our respective parents. Today now confirms that she is number one in Carl's life.

Handing Helen over to Carl reminds me of what my own father-in-law, Les, said to me at our wedding:

If you love something –set it free

If it comes back, it was, and always will be, yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

And if it all it does is –just sits in your house, messes up your stuff, spends your money, eats your food, uses the telephone all night and monopolizes your TV…

You either married it, or gave birth to it!

Today, we ( on the top table) are surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some have traveled hundreds of miles, just to be here today. Thank you all for your friendship and support over many years- and for sharing this special day with us. Would all you all please join me in a toast to wish the Bride & Groom- Helen and Carl – all the luck in the world.