Speech by Kevin Gilmartin

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Kevin Gilmartin
Speech Date: 08/06/2010 15:42:11

Ladies & Gentlemen can I have your attention please.

We're going to start with the speeches so that everyone can then relax and enjoy the food and the rest of Lorna & Daryl's special day. And it falls to me to be first to say a few words as the warm up act in this afternoon's proceedings.

For those of you that don't know me and haven't already worked it out, I'm the other Kevin, the proud father Lorna, the star of the show.

First of all may I welcome everyone and thank you for coming to share this day with us.  I think virtually all of you have travelled substantial distances to be here.  In fact I think J, that's Lorna's mother, and myself are the only two people here today who actually live here in I.  Other than us Joanne the closest, from O.  I hope you had a pleasant journey Jo. So we hope you all enjoy your stay in our beautiful little town.  You are quite fortunate to see it at this time of year at its glorious summer best.

But there are a some people who have travelled a really long way to be with us today.  First and foremost are Daryl's close family who have probably travelled as far as it is possible to travel without leaving the planet, all the way from New Zealand.  They are Danny & Eileen, Daryl's parents, and his sister and brother in law, Sue & Martin, along with their three children Katelyn, the flowergirl, Danielle and little Cameron.  A special welcome to them all.  I believe that apart from Eileen, it is in fact the first time they've all been outside New Zealand.  Correct me if I'm wrong.  I hope that quite apart from today's special event, they take back some wonderful memories of what must be the journey of a lifetime for them.  Next week they have planned to tour Ireland, their ancesteral homeland.

Coming a close second for distance travelled is my youngest brother A who is here from Tasmania.  This is his first trip home for 32 years.  I know he has already found many changes in the country he left in the early 1970’s. It's a quite emotional visit for him see in our mother, Lorna's Nana, for the first time since 1982. It's good to have you here kid.

Well it won't surprise you that I've known Lorna for virtually the whole of her life.  I say virtually because I wasn't actually present at her birth.  It was only just starting to become fashionable at that time for fathers to be present at the birth of their children.  And I've never been a pioneer of fashion. Until then fathers were generally regarded as an irrelevant nusance in the delivery room.

Duncan was first child but I still remember my first thoughts when I heard that our second child was a daughter.  It was something like Oh Sh… Ek,  Im going to have to do a wedding speech.  Well I've had thirt.… years to prepare for this day and it will no doubt already be quite evident that I have my speech tuned and polished to perfection.  Well no, in reality I did have the foresight to realise that when the time came the internet would have been invented.  And all I would need do would be to download someone else's speech the night before.  And it's not a bad one is it?

Well Lorna lived in Lancashire until the age of about 7.  She was born there and although she's in denial, she's really a Lancashire Lass.  On moving to Yorkshire I still remember one of my first thoughts when we moved into our house in Ilkley, that one day Lorna would come down that staircase into the hallway in her wedding dress.  Well the years passed and I got to thinking it wasn't going to happen. And that part of it still didn't happen but I was nevertheless truely proud to see her come down the stairs of the hotel in all her sparkling glory.

I have to say to Daryl that he has been very fortunate to nab Lorna.  She did have her mind set on an archaeologist or an antique dealer because they would be likely to more and more interested in her as she got older.

I am of course a little biased but I can in all honesty tell Darryl that he has chosen a wife with a great abundance of qualities.  Unfortunately Lorna there are just too many here to mention and, anyway the standard of Lorna's handwriting is not one of her great qualities.

Now I'm sure that Lorna is dreading that I may start to reminisce about some embarrassing childhood memories.  I'm far too considerate a father to do anything like that.  So let me just say that Lorna has always been quite self motivated.  She's always  been able to work things out all by herself in her own time without any outside assistance.  I recognised this quality in her at a very early age on her triumphant return from her very first solo and completely unprompted visit to the bathroom.  Oh dear I wasn't supposed to say that.

It is traditional for the father of the bride to offer some words of advise to the happy couple.  But I don't think I am particularly well qualified to do that so I'm largely relying upon the wisdom of others at this point.

 To Lorna I would say, do always bear in mind that Daryl is only a man.  He is not Captain Marvel or Superman.  So don't confuse him with hints.  Hint Recognition Software was not standard feature in the pre 1980 male edition.  And Windows XP still doesn't have it.  So you will need to enter your requirements manually.  Tell him what you want and you'll most likely get it and you'll both be happy.

Now to Daryl I have two observations.

Firstly it's a wise man that admits he is wrong when he is wrong.  It takes a married man to admit that he is wrong when he is in fact absolutely right.

And secondly, I do have something quite original of my own to offer.  It's said that if a job is worth doing its worth doing well.  But just remember Daryl if you can do a job well you've got that job to do for the rest of your life.  Daryl welcome to the family.

Now Ladies and Gentlemen would you please now be upstanding and raise your glasses to the health and happiness of Mr & Mrs L.