Speech by Kevin Schofield

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Kevin Schofield
Speech Date: 06/06/2016 17:40:35

Intro Well good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don't know me “and looking around the room there are more don't than do” my name is Kevin and I'm the very proud father of this beautiful bride and although I am her father and possibly a little biased I think you will all agree Scott is one hell of a lucky man.

I must at this moment make a special mention to Absent Friends who are no longer with us and are now looking down on us from the best seats in the house. Laurens Grand Parents Alice & Bernard, and Margaret & Frank (sadly Lauren never met Margaret & Frank who were my parents but I know they would extremely proud of her) Also Scotts Grand Parents William & Mary and Bill & Marjorie. May I propose the first toast of the day to absent friends.

Now, according to the internet, the Father of the Bride has 5 areas to cover in his speech  1) The Intro “already done so were on our way.  2) I am supposed to welcome you all to the ‘Do’.  3) Say a few words about the Bride in a loving and balanced way. 4) Welcome the Groom into our family and give him a bit of stick. Finish off with some words of advice and wisdom to the happy couple.  5) To toast to the Bride & Groom and wish them all the luck and happiness.

So to make easy for the people who can't understand me. And I bet there are a few. I will let you know exactly where I'm up to in my speech in numerical order.  So when I get to 5, this is the time to sit up, wake the person next to you and take notice. Because this is the part of the proceedings you all play a small part by toasting the happy couple for the first time.

2)  I would like to begin by welcoming you all here today, to the Do.  A massive thankyou from Jackie, myself, May, Steven and of course the happy couple for taking the time and effort to join us in celebrating Lauren and Scott's wedding.  We know that many of you have made long journeys to be with us here today and hope you have a great time in these elegant surroundings of Harvey Nichols.

Well then Ladies and gentlemen and children I should probably make you aware that I'm not a new boy when it comes to standing in front of people speaking or making presentations.

But this is certainly the most nervous I have ever been. I have to be honest this is not the first time today that I have risen trembling from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. Today is probably my most important speech I will ever make, as it will be the one and only time I formally hand the responsibility of my beautiful daughter over to the new man in her life to whom she will turn for love and protection. And I am more than confident he will do a great job.

3) Say a few words about the bride. Mrs Lauren Swainbank “There I have said now for the first time. You no longer carry the Schofield name. But although you have changed your name I am more than certain the Swainbanks will realise they now have a Schofield in their family.  Lauren is a truly special girl, she is honest, trustworthy and extremely loyal. She may appear vulnerable but the velvet gloves only hide a steely core so all I can say to May and Steven is good luck, you're going to need it.

Now I believe that tradition dictates I should now share some embarrassing anecdotes about my daughter. Now I do know that Lauren will now be crapping herself, because for those of you who know me, know that I tend not be so politically correct and can be quite embarrassing for all of our 3 children. And why not, that is a father's prerogative and his right to able to do so.

No seriously, I did try and rummage for some embarrassing moments and even asked her friends but the cupboard was bare.  I just wish I could have said the same of her elder 2 brothers “but we won't go there” today.  No Lauren has never left the rails, she has always been such a sweet loving girl and never stepped out of line. “To my knowledge”. What I do worry about is she has been too good for too long and now is the time I will end up in trouble having a bloody heart attack if she does go off the rails.

But as any parent will tell you boys will always be a worry but girls are double the worry. But I can honestly say Lauren has never given us any heart ache. The only heart strings she has ever tugged on for Jackie and I are ones of pure pride in our wonderful daughter.

4) The Groom, right Scott pay attention.  In-fact I think you should stand for this bit. No sit down I was just seeing how obedient you are going to be for Lauren.

Officially I'm now supposed to formally welcome Scott into our family “god knows why they have been living together for the past 8 years so our welcome must be official before now”.

I really do see Scott as part of our family but it's not that I have gained a son, but more than you have gained a very embarrassing new dad, and looking at Matt and Neil's faces they are ecstatic it now means 33% of someone else to share the pain and embarrassment from dad. Now even if I could have personally hand-picked our future son in-law, Scott would have come a bloody close second.  I would have rather had a plasterer, a bricklayer or an electrician, someone that Matt, Neil or I could have taken advantage of, some proper free labour. But I suppose love conquers all and Scott stole Laurens heart. Now I can see why Lauren and Scott are well suited, they keep a lovely home, share the same values, and are always immaculately turned out. And today Scott you have scrubbed up extremely well.  Although I thought you may have tried to delight your Scottish descendants by wearing a kilt on this special occasion. But on reflection, I see why you haven't. Today will probably the last day you will be wearing the trousers, so Lauren informed me on the way to the Town Hall.

But in all honesty we couldn't be more suited that Lauren and Scott have tied the knot. Theirs is a true boy / girl next door scenario. We lived next door but one to May and Steven when both of them were born so technically they have known each other all their lives.  When Lauren was 6 we moved into the next avenue and we all lost touch. But Lauren and Scott met again at University and by the 3rd year their relationship was so strong they to move in together and the rest is history.  Scott's a great lad extremely hard working and we have no fears he will make a truly wonderful husband and great family man.  I must take my hat off to both his parents May and Steven Scott is a real credit to you and you should be extremely proud of him.

5) The official Toast Right this is your bit so if you can nudge the person next to you and wake them up. My bit is almost finished and I just need to ask you all to stand and raise your glasses and toast the happy couple.

Finally, all that is left for me to do now is hand the baton over to Scott followed by Andy who will hopefully give us a real insight of our new Son In-law.