Speech by Malcolm Ferguson

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Malcolm Ferguson
Speech Date: Sep2005
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, at the gathering of the clans….especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words – it's very touching that you still decided to come.

I would like to start my speech by saying how lovely all of the ladies look… especially my beautiful daughter Kate, and her stunning brides maids…yes Doddy that includes you…and also how handsome all of the men look, particularly those in Kilts.… I have it on good authority from Cara that both Tom-Rob Roy-Booth and Tom-William Wallace-Ferguson have gone commando today….so if any of the ladies would like to confirm this bold baring of the dangly bits….feel free to take a peek.

Weddings are a marvellous excuse for a big party, and today is no exception. Hillary, Sheila and I have invited you all here to day to celebrate Kate and Liam's joining together as man and wife.
I assume all of you here know Kate and Liam, unless you're gate-crashing, in which case pay attention!

We have a lot of people here today – grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends.… and a handful of people I recognise as well, so thank you for all coming.
Special thanks to those of you who have travelled from Canada, America, Korea and Scotland, to be here on this joyous occasion.
A wedding is a time for celebration and fun, a time with friends and family gather together to see the happy couple off as they start their new life together.

But it's a time too, when our thoughts inevitable turn to those people who cannot be with us today, so I would
like all of you to raise a glass to Liam's father, Graham who sadly passed away not so long ago.

As a proud father myself….I'm sure Hilary would agree that, Graham would be bursting with pride if he could be here today, to see what a fine young man Liam has become.

I understand that some of you were involved in a betting scam, as to whether or not Buck or I would have tears in our eyes as we walked Kate down the isle.… well just to set the record straight… Buck cried like a baby, and for those who know him that would come as no surprise.
I myself was controlled and stiff upper lipped, it was only when I received the bill from Stock Brook Manor that I fell to my knees sobbing uncontrollably in a state of shock.

Whilst preparing this speech I was getting a little sentimental… and decided to get out a few old photograph albums for inspiration.… Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned the well thumbed pages.… and the one picture that stood out from all the others… was the striking photograph of my precious daughter Kate lying on a rug… dribbling… mouthing the words daddy… with arms out stretched… pointing at the lens… What a treasure she looked as she tried to stand….no I don't think any of us will ever forget Kate's eighteenth birthday party.

Kate is the kind of child any father would be proud of. She excelled in so many subjects at school, she is beautiful…kind… intelligent…compassionate… popular… fun to be around, and is well liked and respected by anyone who meets her……actually Sheila are you sure she's mine?

When your daughter gets married and leaves home they say… to make you feel better “think of it as not loosing a daughter, but gaining a son” in my case I'm also gaining a telephone….bathroom….and razors that stay sharp.

When Kate first introduced me to Liam at her 18th birthday party… as any caring father should…I asked him if his intentions towards my daughter were honourable or dishonourable? …Liam was quite surprised by this.… as he didn't realise he had a choice.

Shortly after our first meeting, Liam was invited to a special meet the family….Sunday dinner.

Prior to the dinner…I was told to keep my gob shut by Sheila….don't to ask any probing or embarrassing questions she said….Tom was threatened with a violent death if he stepped out of line…and Buck was taken in the kitchen for a one-to-one pre-dinner ear bashing by Sheila…to ensure that no vegetarianism jokes were brought into the conversation.

A very nervous…Kate was quite specific in her instructions to Sheila regarding Liam's vegetarianism.… Regarding… what he would and wouldn't eat… Sheila following Kate's instructions like any good mum….prepared Liam a wonderful plate of fresh steaming vegetables, including his favourite roast spuds.… Unfortunately once served up…she then proceeded to smother the whole lot in a generous coating of Bisto's finest beef gravy….the absolute look of horror on both Kate and Liam's faces had to be seen to be believed…Kate because she couldn't quite believe what Sheila had done, and Liam because he suddenly realised…that he either had to become a turncoat vegi…and return to his carnivore ways… or offend Sheila.
Tom, Buck, Cara and I seeing what had happened, burst out laughing and waited to see who would react first.

Sheila..upon realising her mistake swept into action….trying desperately to salvage the situation….she grabbed a tea towel… snatched up Liam's plate and attempted to wipe off the gravy.… A protesting…Liam gallantly insisted it wasn't a problem… Kate nearing hysteria…burst into tears ….and Tom.. as any dutiful younger brother should…started to laugh even louder…and got a firm side swipe to the head from Sheila.… Buck and I seeing Tom wincing in pain decided to say nothing….fearing further reprisals from Sheila.

Liam looking at his plate with pure revulsion… bravely tried to eat his gravy-covered vegi dinner… but after gagging once or twice… politely declined….insisting that he really wasn't that hungry anyway.

So Liam… not the easiest of introductions to the Ferguson household… however you must have felt quite comfortable, because it was another 4 years before you actually went home.

During the last few years Sheila and I have got to know you very well.… you have become like another son to us and a brother to Cara and Tom. .… Sheila and I are delighted that the Ferguson and Hill families are to be joined as one through your marriage to Kate today, and have great pleasure in formally welcoming you into our family….I say formally because you actually joined 4 years ago.

If there is one quality my new son-in-law Liam has in abundance…its loyalty…and it's a loyalty that he's had tested beyond belief through the last 20 years of broken dreams…heart ache and betrayed trust…..as an avid Luton fan.
So Kate you can rest assured that however you behave over the years to come, Liam will stand by you.

Now Ladies and Gentlemen it is my pleasant duty as father of the bride…..to propose a toast to the happy couple…

Here's to the past, for all that you've learned.
Here's to the present, for all that you share.
Here's to the future, for all that you look forward to together.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise you glasses to the bride and groom.