Speech by Mick Wright

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Mick Wright
Speech Date: oct 2004
Ladies and Gentlemen

As father of the bride it's my privilege to make the first speech….…

At least I thought it was a privilege until I realised that I'm actually the warm up act for the groom and the best man…………..…

I make no apologies guys………………if I bore them to sleep………… that's your problem.

I remember not so long ago being told.…

No we're not going to get married.…

Then it became……………

we're going to get married but it'll just be a small do…………

Then …………..…

Dad, we're having a proper reception but don't worry there won't be any speeches…….…

Surprise, surprise here I am……………

Well here goes………………

On behalf of S———- & myself welcome to D———- and J———-, (Groom's parents) their family and friends, and to our family and friends to join us in celebrating H———- and M———-‘s (Bride and Groom) very special day.

I would also like to mention my Dad, he doted on his only Grand-daughter and wouldn't have wanted to miss this occasion for the world. I'm sure he's looking down on us as I speak.

When I first thought about organising all of this I was quite worried about getting everything right………..actually I have found it all very easy……….…

You sit back and everything happens.

All I do is ask “How Much???”

And make the odd suggestion like “we could've had the Scout Hut for £50”

But I just got that look that I'm sure M———- has found out about by now.

I clearly remember our wedding day being the proudest day of my life………….…

I also clearly remember, 2:00 p.m. 28 October 1979……

————— Maternity Hospital

I was handed a 8 ½ lb baby girl.

It seems like yesterday…………

It was the proudest day of my life ……..…

There have been a few milestones along the way.…

first steps wearing fluffy pink slippers………..…

first day at school……….…

first time away from home an a school trip………..…

and now here we are…………….another proudest day……….…

I see an independent, attractive, elegant, stunning young woman, my daughter H———-

Who, I think you'll agree takes after her mother.

Of course she inherits other traits from me……..…

her cooking……….…

her humour………..…

her allergy to housework…

But what she seems have developed all on her own is her talent for dancing.

S———- and I can't dance but we've a cupboard full of medals to prove that H———- can.

So…..a little later when the music starts…the first dance, I'm relying on all of you

If I have to make a speech, they have to lead off the dancing.

Every Father hopes his daughter will find a smart, reliable, sensible, and considerate partner and as much as you try not to interfere in their lives, you always hope your children will make the right choices in life.

So we're delighted H———- chose someone we like so much to be her partner…

and it's a pleasure M———- to welcome you into our family.

M———-…at this point…….as a man who's survived almost 29 years of marriage, I'm supposed to offer a few words of warning/advice:

I haven't worked it out myself yet but I'll pass on a few tips that I picked up along the way.

Marriage will teach you many things:

· loyalty

· self restraint

· obedience

· and a whole load of other virtues you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single.

Now that you're married, H———- will always have the last word in any argument – any word that you say afterwards is by default, the start of the next argument!

There is no challenge in a marriage that can't be overcome by one or more of the following:
I was wrong!
You were right!
Yes Dear
I love you!

and always remember that just before you take her out the answer is

“No! your bum doesn't look big in that”.

Finally……Never go to bed in the middle of an argument – be a man stay up and fight

You've lost anyway so you might as well get it over with.

That's about all I have to say

The Bride did say that she isn't going to make a speech so, unless she's changed her mind ….again….I'm safe for the time being, she can't get her own back.

Now, on behalf J———- and D———-, S———- and myself

I would like to ask you all to join me in a toast to wish the new Mr & Mrs Kidd all the luck in the world and a long and happy life together.