Speech by Mike Newman

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Mike Newman
Speech Date: Oct2006
Good afternoon everyone, for those of you that don't know me, my name is Mike and I'm Catherine's father. And I am also the warm up man for the speakers that follow!

But seriously on behalf of Margaret, Jill and Ian and myself I am delighted to welcome you to the famous Stoke Park to celebrate the marriage of Catherine and Paul. I know that many of you have travelled thousands of miles to be here with us today. I would also like us to remember absent friends Robert and Mark who are I am sure here in spirit but I am pleased to say the Australian branch of the family is represented by Bill, Fiona and Lucy, Richard and Joan and Janine and Elaina. But most of all I would like us to remember Marge who is looking down on us. Robert and Mark we are sorry you cannot be with us and we remember Marge with love in our hearts.

Earlier we all saw Lucy as the flower girl barely 24 hrs since she flew in from Australia. Well done Lucy you looked very pretty.

I would like to offer my sincere thanks and appreciation to all those who have worked so long and hard to help put this day together, a day which, I am sure, Catherine and Paul will cherish for the rest of their lives. I would like to pay special thanks to Jill and Ian for their contribution, to Margaret for her support, patience and forbearance and to Catherine and Paul themselves who organised most of the wedding like a military campaign.

Standing here today takes me back to the last occasion that I was called upon to say a few words at a wedding. It was when Margaret and I got married. I recall being totally lost for anything of any consequence to say. A feeling of total inadequacy descended upon me. It was a new experience to me. I was young and really knew nothing about being inadequate.

So this time I researched the Internet on brides father speeches and I quickly discovered my first piece of advice speech making is a bit like prospecting for black gold. If you don't strike oil in 10 minutes, stop boring.

The comforting thing I learnt is that the blind numbness I felt before I stood up is a well-known phenomonen. It is said the brain is a wonderful thing. It never stops functioning from the time you're born until the moment you stand up to make a speech.

Now I would like to just say a few words about our daughter Catherine. But first I should thank Margaret who was almost wholly responsible for her upbringing and for the splendid way she has turned out. We are both proud to see her looking so radiant on this her wedding day.

Anyone that knows Catherine will know how she likes to talk, and talk and talk and talk………never at a loss for words. Our house is certainly much quieter now, in fact when she first moved out I thought I must have gone deaf, as the place was so quiet, even with two sisters still around.

There are stories about Catherine I could embarrass her with. Only last night we were recalling an infamous nativity play where Catherine played Mary and the baby Jesus played up and Margaret and I disgraced ourselves in front of the headmaster. But most I would like to refer to her love of family, her character and her determination. She has never been afraid to try anything new and has always risen to the challenge. At school she was the one who looked after her two sisters.

Now for the oldest clich&#233, we are not losing a daughter when she gets married and leaves home but gaining a son. So Margaret and I would like to welcome Paul into our family. Frankly it's a bit late for that because Paul has been part of our family ever since he and Catherine met which is when their pushchairs bumped I think!. We have seen Paul grow up at the same time as Catherine and it is difficult not to remember them as a couple. Paul is a very likeable, hard working, caring, sensitive and an easygoing person and that's just our view. Catherine obviously thinks the world of him.

Paul in case any of you don't know is an ardent football fan and supports Chelsea which is a problem as I am a Man City fan but is also sports all rounder. However, he is clearly lacking in the political judgement department because he beat me at squash this week and I have never beaten him at golf.

However joking apart I am sure Paul will make Catherine a great husband and Margaret and I a good son in law and I am equally certain Catherine will be just as welcome in the Jacklin family

It is traditional for the brides’ father to offer some worldly thoughts and advice on marriage.

To Catherine, two bittersweet sayings from Helen Roland “A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted”. And ”Before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it” And finally Catherine, if you want something from Paul, just ask for it. Don't forget he's a man and hints don't work.

And to Paul remember a man is incomplete until he finds a wife – then he's finished! Remember the words of Oscar Wilde who said, “A woman is meant to be loved, not understood” Paul never go to bed on an unfinished argument. Be a man, stay awake and fight to the bitter end! You're going to lose anyway, so you might as well get it over and done with. Lastly, always remember, as a great philosopher once said, “A man who gives in when he is wrong is a wise man. Whilst a man who gives in when he is right, is married”.

Some proper advice? Do I think after being married for 32 years I am qualified to offer some? Well here goes: marriage isn't easy but it's not impossible. There is no challenge in a marriage that cannot be overcome by the following three sentences.
I was wrong
You were right
I love you.

Ladies and gentlemen it gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple.

Please be upstanding and raise your glasses.
To Catherine and Paul
The Bride and Groom.