Speech by Mr Stevens

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Mr Stevens
Speech Date: sep 2003

As the father of the bride and on behalf of Pamela, Ann and Bill,
I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome you all here today.

Firstly I would like to thank the vicar,
DAVID JONES, for a lovely service, and his boss for the lovely weather.

I hope you all enjoyed the service as we did,
(Gesture Pam)
I know all you women did as I had to paddle back down the aisle,
and there was a bloke from the RNLI collecting brass at the door on the way out.

I hope nobody got lost on the way down,
as Rik & Leanne's horses should have left you a trail to follow them.
But it has come to my attention that somebody kept stopping to scoop it up into plastic bag's.

From the description it sounds just like my father-in-law.

Anyway Andrew that should do your Rose's the world of good,
as those horse turd's must have cost me about 100 quid each.

Today Rik & Leanne have asked us all to keep our speeches short.

But as Leanne knows,
for the last 21 years I have never done anything she asked me to….straight away.

Someone asked me the other day,
will you be giving Rick any advise on marriage

( look at Rik )

Well no one warned me about marrying Pam, just remember the 2 word's
‘ YES DEAR’ they work most of the time.
So no more advise you can find out for yourself like the rest of us

But there is one thing !
You have to work hard at marriage, it's a 2 way thing, so when you have a little dispute sort it out together reasonably,
don't go running back home sulking.
Especially you Leanne,
as the council have just offered us 2 replacement Albanians to fill your room, and the board money is pretty good too.

There are a couple of good things to come out of this marriage though,
Now there are only 3 of us left at home,
Me and Anthony are back in control
( look at Anthony point at Pam and say )
don't tell her though.
And we've only got to queue for one hour instead of two to go in the bathroom.

Seriously though, thank you all again for being here today, especially Bill & Ann for all they have done to make this a special day for Rik & Leanne, and also my wife Pam who has helped me through this stressfull time organising this great day.

One last thank you,
for JO and ANTHONY for working so hard as the Ushers, could they both please come up and receive these gifts on behalf of Rik and Leanne.

I hope you have all enjoyed today,
and hope to see you all back again this evening from 7pm onwards.

It now gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple.
( pick up glass )
Here's to the past, for all that you've learned,
Here's to the present, for all that you share,
Here's to the future, for all that you look forward to together.

Ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding,
( pause ) and raise your glasses to Leanne and Rik.
The Bride and Groom.