Speech by neil conniff
Obviously the speech won't work for everyone but the theme can be adapted and it certainly got a lot of laughs. I would advise that you write each paragraph on a separate card to read from. And pause before you say the subjects. Timing is EVERYTHING! An alternative ending could be.... "You put these two halves together and you get - a whole lot of love, and one happy couple" Thanks for reading it!
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Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: neil conniff
Speech Date: 23/09/2014 16:10:24
Good evening everyone and thank you for coming to join us on this wonderful day in celebration of this beautiful wedding between Anna and Tommy.
I'm neil, the brides’ brother and I would like to say a few words in the abscene of the father of the bride who is unable to attend.
Unforunately, he can't be here because he's had a stroke in Bangkok and he can't fly. Make out of that sentence whatever you will but it's all perfectly true!
On that note, I would like to take this opportunity to propose a toast to all the people who, for one reason or another.. sadly, can't be with us….
I'm sure there are a few looking down on us today, with love, and warm smiles on their faces. So Ladies and gentlemen.. please raise your glasses to ABSENT, FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
I am also very proud to say that I am now, ‘officially’, Tommy's brother in law and with that honour I would like to offer Tommy and his family a very big, warm and open armed welcome to our family.
In a few moments we'll be hearing from the best man, Berni, and also from Tommy and Anna themsleves.
I will leave them the honour of thanking the people who have been so influential to this day and those who have worked so hard in making all the arrangements.
Before that, I'd like to say one thank myself, and that is to my good friend David and his band who have played so elegantly, and romantically, for us during the past hour or so. So thank you, David and The Band.
Now, before I do hand over to the best man, I would like to give you all a bit of an education… and, it is a lesson so please pay attention, especially you lot at the back!
I have known Tommy personally now, coming up for around 30 years, having learned the art of drinking, in the same pub as him.
SO we can definitely say we have –
HISTORY!
We also grew up in the same town, Loughton in Essex, so we also have –
GEOGRAPHY!
Tommy is now married to my beautiful sister Anna, who is of course, my own flesh and blood –
BIOLOGY!
Anna also knew Tommy, in decades past, so when they were to meet again for the first time, some four years ago, they must have felt a sense of déjà vu-
FRENCH!
Apparently they made initial contact online, through Facebook-
COMPUTER STUDIES!
And, they were to learn many new things about each other, including the fact, that they each had two children –
MULTIPLICATION!
It wasn't long before they realised they had the right..… ‘CHEMISRTY’ and so with this they fell for eachother, head -over – heels –
P.E. !
I'll leave the gymnastics to your imagination..… Jamie J
Anna & Tommy then decided to move in together, as they felt it made a lot of financial sense –
ECONOMICS!
And Tommy would soon discover that Anna is a very, good cook –
DOMESTIC SCIENCE!
And we all know how much Tommy loves pie –
GEOMETRY?
This lesson is now coming to an end but before the bell goes, I'd like to change the subject one last time to –
MATHEMATICS
On one half of this relationship is Tommy, and on the other half is Anna.
You put these two halves together and you get –
ANNATOMMY!
