Speech by Norman Jones

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Norman Jones
Speech Date: Jul2006
Well I think we are all agreed that we have had a wonderful day today. That is now about to change as it is time for the speeches.

On behalf of James's parents, Jane &amp Martin and Susan's parents Lynda &amp myself, I would like to thank you all for joining us today to celebrate the marriage of our much loved children, Susan &amp James.

It has been thirty years and 19 days since I last had to stand up and make a speech at a wedding and I think that I am even more nervous today than I was then. For thirty years ago I was in James's place as the groom &amp everyone wanted me to do well now people just want me to finish quickly and make way for the acts to follow.

I know that I am now supposed to say something like this is not so much losing a daughter as gaining a bathroom, but in fact we didn't gain the bathroom until Susan's younger sister and bridesmaid Anna left home some years after Susan.

There is much work involved in organising a wedding and I thank all those who have helped to make today the success that it has become. The duties of the father of the bride are however mercifully simple. All I had to do was escort Susan down the aisle, which was a pleasure. Sign cheques, which was less of a pleasure and organise the seating plan. I deliberated long and hard as to who should sit where. Should Aunty Mary be nearer to the bride than Aunty Pat? Which grandparents should sit where? I could see that here was a minefield in which whatever I did I would be sure to upset someone. Then the solution came to me in a flash. I would sit those who had given the most expensive presents nearer to the top table and further away as the value of the present decreased. So thank you uncle Laurence and aunty Madeleine I am sure that your tea towel will give much pleasure to Susan and James in the weeks to come.

I have obviously known Susan since she was born, in fact even longer than that since she used to kick me in the back when Lynda cuddled into me before she was even born.

She has, as I am sure you know, always been a girl with a smile, and we have had lots of those today. She used to gather the elderly Innerleithen ladies around her pram while Lynda was in the shops, and she has always managed to wrap me around her little finger.

Susan has always loved singing, dancing, dressing up and being dramatic. We were going to have a duet of an interesting number written by Susan and Anna but fortunately James has put his foot down and forbidden it.

When she was seventeen Susan embarked on an adventure, a year in school in Liberal, Kansas, USA. She was welcomed into the very generous hearts of the Rice family. Her ‘Mum’ for the year, Gretna, told us how lucky we were to have such a wonderful daughter, and we can only agree!!

Susan was on the phone from Liberal one day and cut the call short by saying that the tornado warning had gone and that she would have to go to the shelter. Many of you will know, but for those who don't Kansas is well known fro its tornados, in fact the wizard of Oz was filmed in and around Liberal and so with pictures of houses taking off and flying to the rainbow, I had an anxious wait until Susan phoned back to say that all was well.

Another tornado flew into my life some years later when Susan introduced us to James. Like all fathers of daughters my first reaction was that he wasn't good enough for my girl, but gradually I got to know James and realised how like me he is.

We both support no hope football teams, Stoke and England, Birmingham and Scotland

We both eat and drink more than we should, but James doesn't show it quite as much as I do.

They didn't have playstations when I was a lad, but if they had I am sure that I would have had one.

We both now have mother- in- laws and welcoming James into the family has given me some food for thought. Before James I would tell jokes like, I was talking to someone last week about mother-in-law's and he told me that his mother-in-law was an angel. I replied you are lucky, mine is still living. James told Susan that he so admired the way that I treated my mother-in-law and that he was going to treat his in the same way. I don't want anyone treating Lynda in such a way so I have changed, haven't I Sarah.

However the main thing that James and I have in common is that we both love Susan very much so I would like to formally welcome you to the Jones family.

So ladies and gentlemen would you please charge your glasses and stand as I propose a toast to the happy couple.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bride and groom, Susan and James, Mr. &amp Mrs. Pemberton.