Speech by Paul Davis

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Paul Davis
Speech Date: Aug2007
As Father of the bride it is of course my privilege, I think that's the right word, to make the first speech.
When I started to write it I thought it would be great for me to get in first.
But I then recognised It also puts me at a disadvantage.
Not knowing what R is going to say about his new in laws is not a comfortable position!
Whatever he says, it's probably true.
R, I'll leave you alone, you leave me alone, then I won't need to exercise my right of reply.
I do have a back up speech. Produce blank pieces of paper

Now when I sat down to gather my thoughts as to what I wanted to say today, one thought suddenly hit me. It's the only slight glitch, the only small downside in all of this sweetness &amp light, &amp that is the fact that tonight, I will be going to bed, of course if I can find it, with, a mother-in-law! Of course a very lovely mother-in-law, I hasten to add.
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According to the internet &amp all the books L could find to buy, my speech is to talk about L by celebrating her pre wedding years in a sentimental, &amp possibly amusing way.

Well this certainly will be an achievement.
Because when L first came into the world she had her fingers in her mouth, ever since she took them out none of us had got a word in edgeways!!

I'm sure her friends &amp work colleagues know what I mean. She certainly talks the rear end off a donkey!
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Anyway on behalf of C &amp myself &amp of course the whole of the wedding party I again thank you all for coming to help celebrate L &amp R's wedding.

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L and R, with a little help from a few others, have worked really hard organising everything for today but their hard work has definitely paid off.

I'm sure everyone will agree that the ceremony was wonderful, the string quartet on arrival here were excellent &amp I'm certain this evening will be one to remember, &amp in such a beautiful setting.
I must give our sincere thanks to M &amp W for such a perfect venue &amp to S &amp her team for such a delicious meal.

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I would have liked to have been able to say that I want to take this opportunity to welcome R to the family, but now nearly 8 years ago since L invited him up to her room to look at posters on the wall of her flat at Uni. yeah a likely reason, he's been part of the furniture, He's been welcome since day 1, even though he is a bad influence on me, encouraging me in the demon drink &amp I invariably end up with a headache.
I remember he had the cheek to gulp back his first tot of my beloved G &amp then claimed it didn't burn his throat.

So I've decided I've not lost a daughter I've gained an….IT Manager…he's damn handy around the computer…and no call out fees. I just wish E could find a good gardener … that would come in handy.
But T I guess a film producer might be fine.
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Without sounding too corny L is a wonderful person who really deserves a good husband.

All I can say R is that you are lucky that you married her before she found one. Just joking of course.

Naturally every Father hopes his daughter will find a smart, sensible, reliable and considerate partner.

I genuinely think L has made the right choice in R.
He's a good cook, which he has had to be given L's lack of culinary skills.

R was telling me that about a year after they moved in to their current house, he was let loose for a night down the pub with some mates. His phone rang, it was L. “R how do I turn the cooker on”!!!
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L has a beautiful personality and I'm sure you'll all agree that she looks absolutely stunning today.
Now in the brains department it's a little different!

Which leads me on nicely to talk about L's English skills. Words, well the right ones, sometimes don't come easy to L, even before she's had a few.…

Like when she rang us to say “Mum I'll be late home, there's a lot of digestion on the motorway”.

Or when she met up with one of her old school friends &amp said ‘I haven't seen you since you were knee high to a kipper’

Or when we were talking about wedding photographs last weekend &amp L said she would like a photo on our stairs with her wedding dress all sprayed over the bottom step.

Or when we were talking about the motorcyclist shot on the M40 last weekend. She hoped somebody had got the post code of the car.

But the piece de resistance is when she met a patient on one of the wards she covers at T hospital, he was very smartly dressed &amp L said “you are looking very extinguished today”.

the list could go on. How she got a B grade in English we'll never know.

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It's customary that I take this opportunity to spend a few minutes giving you a rundown on what a wonderful, caring, charming and attractive person L is.
L, I can't read your notes!!
I can though, say how much L means to us.

This tiny little bundle was born with blond hair, bluey green eyes, her fingers in her mouth, who to be fair looked more like a tadpole but within a few weeks she had developed into a little cutie and a great daughter.
Nothing has changed.
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Being L's dad I have many memories of her as a baby. I have seen L be sick, I have seen her wet herself AND crawl around on the floor.
But I think that's enough about her 18th Birthday
Looking at the photos of her hen party nothing's changed there either.
Mind you the video footage of R's stag night don't flatter him either.
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During her teenage years L was never short of boyfriends – but when she went to University she felt she was having difficulty finding Mr Right.
Just before she met R she advertised in the C Echo in the “Husbands Wanted” section –
She got 255 replies all saying you can have mine for free.
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R also tried very hard before he found L – I understand he sent a photo to the lonely hearts club –
but they sent it back saying “we're not THAT lonely.
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I have always known that L is a beautiful woman, but I have never seen her look quite so beautiful as she does today. Both her Mum &amp me are extremely proud of her.

I am the proudest man in the whole world – Seeing your daughter looking so happy and radiant is a truly amazing experience.

I have to confess it is tinged with a little sadness because even at the age of 5 we were offered 300 camels for her when we were on holiday just off the coast of Africa, this time I've had to GIVE her away!

L always makes an impact wherever she goes, whoever she's with. I remember the first impact she made on C &amp me. I went up to the maternity hospital to collect Mum &amp baby. C decided at the last minute to change L's nappy on the bed before we came away. Off came the wet one, of course a terry towelin one in those days.

There was L laying on the bed all lovely on her fresh clean nappy when she certainly made the messiest impact you could ever imagine. It went everywhere, all over the bed, the floor everywhere. That was certainly a shock welcome to parenthood for C &amp me.

Well she certainly has made an impact today. She's still my beautiful baby.

R is not bad either!
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So.… L and R
It's now my pleasant duty to wish you as the new Mr. and Mrs. B all the luck in the world and a very long and happy life together.
I hope we, yes we, have a great honeymoon together.
I am sure there will be some romantic strolls in the O moonlight,
&amp that's just me &amp R
Seriously Ladies &amp Gentlemen, I ask you to please be upstanding &amp raise your glasses
I propose a toast to THE BRIDE &amp GROOM, L &amp R

Thankyou &amp enjoy the rest of the day.