Speech by Pete Stonebanks

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Pete Stonebanks
Speech Date: Aug 2001
GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYONE, MOST OF YOU KNOW BY NOW WHO I AM, IM JULIE'S DAD, PETER.

UNACCUSTOMED AS I AM TO MAKING SPEECHES, I WILL ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME WHEN I KEEP LOOKING AT MY NOTES, THE TROUBLE IS AS I KEEP BEING REMINDED I AM GETTING OLD AND FORGET THINGS VERY EASILY. —————————————————
NOW WHAT WAS I SAYING. OH YES MY NOTES.

AS FATHER OF THE BRIDE IT IS MY PRIVILEGE TO MAKE THE FIRST SPEECH AND I WOULD LIKE TO START BY SAYING WHAT A REAL PLEASURE IT IS TO WELCOME YOU ALL HERE TODAY.
MANY OF YOU HAVE TRAVELLED MANY MILES TO JOIN US IN CELIBRATING JULIE AND LEON'S VERY SPECIAL DAY.

I KNOW THAT AT ALOT WEDDINGS THIS IS THE SPEECH THAT EVERYONE DISLIKES, JULIE HAS ASKED ME TO KEEP IT SHORT.

I EVEN KNOW THAT THERE IS A BOOK RUNNING ON HOW LONG THE SPEECH WILL LAST, ALL I WILL SAY TO THE PERSON WHO IS RUNNING THE BOOK, PUT ME DOWN FOR 59 MINUTES AND 58 SECONDS.

I ALSO UNDERSTAND THERE WAS BETTING GOING ON WHETHER I WOULD HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES WHEN I TOOK JULIE DOWN THE AISLE,
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SAW THE TEARS, MAY I PUT THE RECORD STRAIGHT.
I DID HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES, BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WORRING OVER WHAT I WOULD SAY TO MY BANK MANAGER ON MONDAY MORNING.

WHEN JULIE WAS YOUNG SHE SAID TO ME, DADDY WHEN I GET MARRIED I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A FAIRY PRINCESS.
I MAYBE SLIGHTLY BIASE, BUT IM SURE THAT YOU WILL ALL AGREE WITH ME THAT JULIE DOES LOOK LIKE A BEAUTIFUL FAIRY PRINCESS.
LEON I THINK YOU HAVE WON THE LOTTERY,
JULIE YOU LOOK ABSOLUTLY FABULOUS.

WHEN JULIE WAS THREE I TOOK JULIE STRAWBERRY PICKING THE DAY THAT PHILIP WAS BORN, IT GAVE ME GREAT PLEASURE WHEN YESTERDAY JULIE SAID TO ME “DAD WILL YOU TAKE ME STRAWBERRY PICKING. THEY BY THE WAY ARE NOT THE STRAWBERRIES THAT WE ATE TODAY.

ITS THOUGHTS THAT GO THROUGH YOUR MIND WHEN YOUR STANDING IN FRONT OF THE VICAR READY TO GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY, BUT THERE YOU GO.

NOW LEON, WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT LEON.
I FIRST HEARD THE NAME LEON WHEN WE WERE ON A FAMILY HOLIDAY IN LANZAROTE. JULIE SPENT MOST OF HER TIME AND ALL OF HER MONEY ON THE PHONE BACK TO ENGLAND TO THIS NEW FRIEND CALLED LEON.

TWO WEEKS AFTER WE CAME BACK FROM HOLIDAY I CAME HOME FROM WORK TO FIND A YOUNG MAN IN MY KITCHEN.
I TOOK AN INSTANT DISLIKE TO HIM, HE HAD EVERYTHING I DIDN'T,
GOOD LOOKS, YOUTH, HAIR, ————-
VERY LONG HAIR DOWN TO HIS SHOULDERS.

IM ONLY JOKING, LEON IS A VERY LIKABLE AND THOUGHTFUL YOUNG MAN, AFTER GOING OUT WITH JULIE FOR EIGHT MONTHS HE JOINED THE HUMAN RACE AND HAD HIS HAIRCUT.
HE OFFERED ME THE HAIR HE HAD CUT OFF, IT WAS THE WRONG COLOUR THOUGH.

ROGER AND SHIRLIE, LEON'S MUM AND DAD AND KATHY AND MYSELF ARE VERY PROUD OF THE WAY LEON HAS WORKED HARD TO CONTINUE HIS ACCOUNTANCY COURSE OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS. HE IS A VERY HARD WORKING MAN AND ONCE HE FINISHES HIS EXAMS WILL GO PLACES.
JULIE CANT WAIT FOR HIM TO PASS SO THAT, IN HER OWN WORDS
“I CAN RETIRE”

JULIE WAS VERY TENSE ON THURSDAY NIGHT WHEN WE HAD THE WEDDING REHERSALS, THE VICAR TRIED TO CALM HER DOWN.
HE SAID JULIE DON'T WORRY ALL YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER IS THREE THINGS
WHEN YOU GET TO THE CHURCH YOU WALK UP THE AISLE WITH YOUR DAD.
THEN YOU GET TO WHERE IM STANDING AT THE ALTER. AFTER THAT WE ALL SING HYMMS.
SO REMEMBER THE AISLE, THE ALTER AND THE HYMMS.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU HEARD JULIE AS WE WERE WALKING INTO CHURCH.
SHE WAS SAYING “I'LL ALTER HIM, I'LL ALTER HIM.

LEON AS MANY OF YOU KNOW IS VERY CHATTY ONCE HE HAS HAD A FEW BEERS.
ON HIS STAG NIGHT HE CAME OVER TO ME AND SAID, “PETER IVE SORTED HER OUT” I SAID WHO HAVE YOU SORTED OUT LEON.
HE SAID JULIE.
LAST NIGHT ID BEEN OUT FOR A FEW BEERS WITH CHRIS, JULIE AND I WE WENT UP TO BED AND I TOOK OFF MY TROUSERS AND SAID JULIE, PUT THOSE ON.
SHE DID AND BURST OUT LAUGHING, SAYING THERE MUCH TO BIG FOR ME. I SAID TO HER “EXACTLY, ————–WHEN WE GET MARRIED DON'T FORGET WHO WEARS THE TROUSERS.

I SAID TO LEON, WHAT DID JULIE SAY TO THAT!!!!
HE SAID, WELL SHE GAVE ME MY TROUSERS BACK AND THEN TOOK OFF HER KNICKERS AND THREW THEM AT ME.
SHE SAID PUT THEM ON.
I SAID I CAN'T GET INTO THEM.
SHE SAID EXACTLY AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE MATE.

I WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME LEON INTO OUR FAMILY, BUT TO BE HONEST HE HAS BEEN PART OF IT FOR SEVERAL YEARS AS HAS JULIE WITH LEONS FAMILY.

JULIE AND LEON PLEASE HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER, LOVE EACH OTHER, BE HAPPY AND NEVER GO TO BED IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT, STAY UP AND FIGHT, KEEP THE NEIGHBOURS AWAKE.

IT NOW GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO PROPOSE THE TOAST TO THE HAPPY COUPLE.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS, I ASK YOU ALL TO BE UPSTANDING AND DRINK A TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND BRIDEGOOM, THE NEW MR MRS NEWTH, JULIE AND LEON

TO JULIE AND LEON.