Speech by Peter Jones

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Peter Jones
Speech Date: 08/12/2015 17:51:32

INTRO

Hello everybody, just a couple of things before I start . . . . .

I did want to do the entire speech as a PowerPoint presentation but Gail put her foot down about that so as I seem to have the memory of a goldfish I have a few notes to work with . . . .

Since Rachael moved to Yorkshire we've noticed some strange sayings and phrases creeping into her vocabulary, however the southerners seem to be in the minority here today so I won't say anymore but if anybody is struggling with my accent during the speech Rachael is on hand to translate if necessary and I believe Uncle Alan also has some experience of Brummagem.

I do also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve so I apologize in advance for that.

For those that haven't guessed I'm Peter, Rachael's dad and until recently I was also the owner of Dads Cabs which included Dad DIY, Dad Removals and Dad vehicle rentals.

Now, according to the internet, the Father of the Bride has just four areas to cover in his speech

1) I have to welcome everyone to the wedding and say a few thank yous

2) Then I have to say a few words about the Bride in a loving and balanced way.

3) Next are some words of advice for the happy couple

4) And finally I have to propose a toast to the Bride & Groom.

Apparently I don't have to worry about my speech being witty and entertaining . . . . . . Because that's the best man's job.

PART ONE – THE WELCOME
So, in Oliver's words, welcome one and all to Gods own country – the Republic of Yorkshire!!

We know that many of you have made long journeys to be here today and I'm sure that you're all looking forward to having a great time.

Gail and I and of course Oliver's parents Jeff and Janet, would like to thank you for coming and for sharing Rach and Oli's special day, with thanks going to everyone who has helped with the planning that has gone into today's event.

A big thank you go's to Rachael's gorgeous bridesmaids, Laura and Hannah for doing such a splendid job of making sure she was ready this morning (and I know that must have been a monumental task)

And of course, thanks to Isabelle (our granddaughter) and Maisie (Rachael's goddaughter) our two beautiful flower-girls

Thanks also to Woody, Oliver's Best man for taking care of Oliver during the many stag dos and getting him out of the pub today and at the church on time.

Some other important people to mention are the staff here at the Priory Cottages for their help and advice during the last 11 months planning and as they continue to look after us for the rest of our time here today

PART TWO – THE BRIDE

This is the point where I'm supposed to tell you all about Rachael while she was growing up, and the funny and embarrassing things that happened, and I'm sure Rachael is a little nervous about what I might say in this next part of my speech . . . .

. . . . But it's OK Rach you needn't worry I'm not going to embarrass you . . . . . just yet,

Your Mom and Janet will do that without my help . . . . . I'll wait until we're on the dance floor for my chance to embarrass you!

Although I did look through some old photographs of Rachael for inspiration and one in particular stood out from the others. 
It was a picture of Rach lying on the floor in front of her mom, dribbling, gurgling and trying to take a few wobbly steps . . . . . . . it's the only photo we've got of Rachael on her hen night, so it's quite special.

REAL STORY

From the delivery room at Nuneaton's George Eliot Hospital, when the midwife placed her in my arms to now seems to have been just a fleeting moment, but today, I've escorted that same little girl down the aisle, and we're now celebrating her marriage. I have no idea where all that time went!

I've been at all of the outstanding events of Rachael's life

From her birth and her first days at school,

The days when she was running around the garden with no knickers on, peeing on the flowers and eating mud . . . . . . .

. . . . . BTW Oliver, we did manage to break her of the habit of eating mud

There were the Brownie days and the Sea Cadet days,

There were some bad days as well, such as the trauma of the stolen mini roll day . . . . . in fact the perpetrator of this wicked crime is actually here today and I believe he would like to make amends for his crime . . . . . Uncle Steve . . .

PRESSY OF A BOX OF MINI ROLLS

One of our favourite family days was always the annual hair crimping session around Christmas, which I always enjoyed . . . . . . . . In fact I know Rach did try to replicate this on one of her hen parties recently!
When Rach was little she always wanted to help out with everything . . . cooking . . . cleaning . . . and tidying.
In fact when she noticed that I was struggling with this part of the speech she did offer to help me . . . .

It's hard to find the words to express the depths of my feelings but she is the purrfect . . . . puurfect . . . 
Rachael! ! . . . . . . . You've spelt perfect wrong!!

There were the school report days that always seemed to include the phrase 
‘Rachael spends too much time chatting’ . . . . (I can see that you're not surprised by that)
and then while we were at a seaside football tournament with her little brother, Alistair we had the . . . .

‘Let's climb out of the window and go to the fairground days’, –

Although I blame Laura's bad influence for that little escapade, it couldn't have been my Rachael surely!

As she got older, we took it in turns with Malc and Angie (Laura's mom and dad) ferrying Rachael and Laura to and from their waitressing shifts at the local golf club, and in later years waiting for them after nights out sampling the hot spots of Nuneaton – but we always had to be out of sight of their friends. 
It seems we were even more embarrassing back then!
Despite all this she did graduate from sixth form college with the results she wanted and her decision to take up midwifery meant that we needed to check out prospective university accommodation, and so, next came what we've come to know as the ‘moving’ years

Obviously the day she moved into her first halls of residence in Bradford was pretty emotional and scary for everybody (in fact this was the first time we met Lisa & Sandra).
There were house moves at the beginning of each new academic year into shared houses and flats of questionable cleanliness, so that was at least two moves . . . and after her graduation she moved house again, once or twice I think, I lost count.

Then came the first flat share with Oliver and another house move and

Finally in 2013, buying a house with Oliver and, yes you've got it – moving house again – so at least I know the cause of my back pain – and I do seem to have developed a nervous twitch when she utters the phrase . . . .
‘Dad can you borrow the works van’!

Anyway . . . . After today Oliver, it's all down to you. Dad removals has definitely closed down

So this brings us up to date and possibly the most important day of her life so far – her wedding, which is another one of those moving days but in a very different sense.

We've watched her growing up, and I suppose like all fathers, I knew that someday she would bring someone home and say, “This is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with”. 
I suppose like all fathers, I was fully prepared to say, “Good grief Rachael, what on earth are you thinking of . . . .

Well Janet and Jeff, I never did say that, because the man she brought home was Oliver.

I know Janet and Jeff have said to us that they felt as if Oliver had won the lottery the day he met Rachael and they know she will be a fantastic addition to the Gargon family (as if there isn't enough of them already)!

But I'd prefer to think of it as a double rollover . . . . We're all winners.

Oliver is a credit to you and we took to him straight away, we even forgave the incident with the house alarm on pretty much the first time we met him . . . . then on another occasion he managed to eat his way through a plateful of Gail's party sausage rolls which were meant for a family party when they arrived home late one night with the munchies
and of course there was the infamous attack on our Christmas tree with his nerf gun just last year !
In fact as a reminder of this Oliver we've bought you a little present – sorry Rach it's your Christmas tree that gets blasted this year!

PRESSY OF NERF GUN

The truth is, that from day one it's been like having a second son around. By which of course I mean that he's left his clothes all over the house, stayed in bed until midday, and drunk my beer!! 
Only kidding Oliver . . . . Apparently the old jokes are meant to be the best.

But he did the right thing and he asked for my permission to marry Rachael, of course I did say “yes”, but I did add very quietly under my breath that there is a strict policy of ‘no returns’!

So here we are at the momentous day . . . . Or as Rachael refers to it . . . . The wedding of the year. . . . .

When I saw first Rachael in that dress this morning I thought – wow!

Well actually I thought wow she'll never manage to get down the stairs and along that aisle in that. But she did, she made it in one piece.

For many years it has been my honour to be (possibly) the most important man in Rachael's life. But earlier today I ‘gave Rachael away’, and now I've taken a step back and become the second most important.

Rachael is now part of Oliver's family, and Oliver part of ours.

DIRECT TO RACH

Rach you now have a new shoulder to cry on if you need it, but remember this, no matter how old you are, you will always be my little girl.

We are very proud of you and above all, proud of the person you've grown into sometimes showing wisdom beyond your years . . . . .

For me the key to being a Dad (or a Mum for that matter) has been encouraging you in everything you do, and most importantly being there for you whenever you need us, which we hope we've managed to do.

Everyone who knows you (and I can see that there are plenty of people who know you) will all agree that you're fun loving and caring, a good friend and a brilliant organiser (probably bordering on OCD but we do share some of the blame for that).

So today seems the perfect occasion in front of family and friends for your Mum and I to say how much we love you, how very proud of you we are and we both couldn't wish for a happier day than today.

PART THREE – ADVICE & A FEW WISE WORDS

OK now this is where I'm supposed to offer some wise advice to the new couple so, here's a few gems I've googled – sorry thought of . . . . . 
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It is said that a man isn't complete until he's married – and when he's married he's finished. 
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Oliver – remember that when Rachael asks you to do something – she's really telling you to do something (this is what's referred to an indirect command) and Rachael – it's no good hinting at things – Oliver's a man, just tell him.
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A successful marriage is not about finding a person you can
live with, but finding a person that you can't live without.
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And don't forget that marriage is an equal relationship – both of you will find that you are contributing 70%
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Whilst you now have each other, don't forget that you'll always have the support of your family and friends around you . . . . . you don't get rid of us that easily.

Nearly finished now – just these last few words of advice to the newly-weds:

Rachael – a husband's last words should always be ‘OK, buy it’

And Oliver – women like silent men; they think you're listening

And to both of you, don't go to bed on an argument – stay up and fight!

PART FOUR – SIGN OFF & TOAST

Well, that's it you've suffered me for long enough so I'll sit down and let Oliver have a go, as I can see that he's like a coiled spring ready for action, but before I do that, it is my final duty to propose a toast . . . . . .

Here's to these beautiful bridesmaids – a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Here's to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart.

And here's to the bride. May she share everything with her husband . . . . . . Including the housework.

Remember your pasts for all you've learnt, and shared together

Plan for your future for all that you look forward to together

But more than this treasure every moment of your present together – because time really DOES fly!

It is written that:

When children find true love, parents find true joy.

Here's to your love and our joy, from this day forward.

. . . . . So Ladies and Gentlemen, finally . . . . .

If you would like to stand and raise your glasses and join with me in wishing them both a long, loving, happy and healthy future together

To the Bride and Groom, the new Mr and Mrs Gorgon . . . .
Rachael and Oliver

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