Speech by Phil Old

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Phil Old
Speech Date: Jul2004
Making a speech is not something I would normally look forward to, but today is a happy exception. As Father of the Bride, it is both my pleasure and privilege to make the first speech.
I would like to start, by saying what a real pleasure it is also to welcome, on this very happy occasion, Anne and Pete, Martins parents. I would also like to welcome each and every one of you as all of you have all played some part in the lives of Anne and Martin and are valued because of that. Your presence here is important to them.
Maureen and I are very proud today, to see Anne, looking so beautiful and after many trials and tribulations finally married to Martin.
During the time I have known him, I have come to realise how special he is to Anne, and as anyone can see they are made for each other.
Now I know this will sound like an end of year school report, after all I did do 30 years as a teacher, but Martin is a likeable, easy going and conscientious young man, and I am very happy to welcome him formally into our extended family.
What I find gratifying, is that Martin's parents feel the same way about Anne. They have taken her to their hearts.
Maureen and I are really fortunate, that our much loved daughter has made a match with her Mr. Right, and in so doing, has given me someone to take me shooting in my old age.
Of course, marriage is not only about finding the perfect partner, but also about being one.
I believe that marriage will re-enforce Martin's, loyalty, self-restraint, and control. It will develop his sense of fair play ..… and many many other qualities…..which he wouldn't have needed if he had stayed single!
Handing Anne over into Martin's care, brings to mind what a wise woman once said.
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
And, if all it does is …just sit in your house, mess up your things, spend your money, eat your food, use the telephone all night, and monopolise your Television.…
You either married it, or gave birth to it!
Marriages are funny things. A survey recently carried out to establish whether married men lived longer than bachelors, found apparently that there's no difference….it just seems longer when you're married!
Seriously though, speaking from experience, I would like to warn this freshman about what he'll be up against.
I didn't think it wise to say anything before he'd gone through with the ceremony, in case he changed his mind.
But there's something you'll have to learn to live with Martin, because no man including Adam, you know, the fool who swapped a rib for Eve, has yet found a remedy for it…and that is….the female mind!
It can simply be summed by an incident, familiar to all married men.
A woman bought her husband two ties for his birthday, one red and one blue.
He was unsure which one to wear, but finally unaided by she who must be obeyed decided on the red one.
As soon as his wife saw him through the mirror she was using for her makeup (late again….that's another thing I could digress upon), she snapped, "Oh! you're wearing the red. Don't you like the blue one?"
There's no way you can win Martin ….but, forewarned is forearmed.
As Oscar Wilde said ‘Women are meant to be loved and not understood’.
According to Mosses, well, Charlton Heston, the key to a long and happy marriage Martin, is to remember these three little words, "I was wrong."
Another piece of advice I would like to pass on is that:
Valentine cards understandably stress burning love, Priests and Vicars stress fidelity, but old married couples know that the secrets of a well-worked-at marriage, are persistence and patience, tolerance and forbearance, stoicism, tenacity, stamina, forgiveness and, failing that, a very defective memory. It also helps, of course, if the husband is always prepared to take the blame, as is only right and just. Wives do have a tendency to insist on this last point!
And remember, Martin, A man is not complete until he is married and then he's finished
but also remember Anne, It takes a good wife to make a good husband.
I know I suggested that you should elope and have your wedding on a beach in Antigua, but I'm glad you didn't, because this has been a wonderful wedding day, and it's not over yet!
It is only right that we should toast the Bride and Groom, but I would also like to toast each one of you here.
You have all come to help celebrate this special occasion, of those we love, and who love each other.
By your presence, you show friendship and love, and bring even greater joy to them on their special day.
It is now my pleasant duty to propose a toast to the happy couple.…
Martin and Anne. May the lamp of your love burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial.
Here's to the past, for all that you've learned.
Here's to the present, for all that you share.
Here's to the future, for all that you look forward to. TOGETHER.
Ladies & Gentlemen, please be upstanding, raise your glasses and drink a hearty toast to the Bride & Groom,
Anne and Martin