Speech by Philip Wesley

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Philip Wesley
Speech Date: 01/09/2014 18:36:34

Ladies and gentlemen. And children too!

It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all here on this very important day.

in the lives of Darren and Laura.

For those of who do not know me I am Laura's dad.

The lovely lady beside me is Laura's Mum Pat, who has been my loving wife for almost 46 years.

Before I get going I want to say a public thank-you to her for the huge amount of hard work she has done in organising everything for today. If everything goes well then it is entirely due to her energy and passionate attention to detail.

.… If things go wrong then it's probably my fault.

Pat has also been very ably aided by Laura herself who has taken personal charge of much of what you could call the “pretty planning”. Being a creative lass this is the sort of thing she enjoys doing and looking around the room I'm sure you'll agree she has done a fabulous job.

I've got away lightly – The only thing I've had to do is plan what I'm going to say now so it is only right and proper that I begin by thanking them both.

Next, I'd like to thank each and every one of you for coming here today, especially those who knew I would be rabbitting on a bit but decided to come anyway.

I have to confess I'm a bit apprehensive about speaking here today. Not because I'm unsure about what to say. It's just, as Laura's dad I'm not really used to speaking for more than about 30 seconds at a time.

Also you may notice that I'm referring to notes as I speak –

It would be lovely to able to speak in a entirely spontaneous manner casually remembering all the things I want to say but I'm afraid my memory just isn't up to the task. And I know full well that that if I didn't use notes –  when I sat down, instead of just listening to Jason and Darren I'd just be sitting there thinking .. did I remember to say  .. or .. oh heck, I forgot to thank so and so.

As is traditional for a bride's dad speech, I'll now say a few things about the bride – our BEAUTIFUL Laura,

Doesn't she look amazing!

What can I say about Laura!

What should I say about Laura!

What dare I say about Laura!

Over the years (since she was about 6 I think) I've always jokingly threatened Laura that my wedding speech would be chock full of very embarrassing stories about the things she got up to from her early infancy right through to her teenage years.

Relax Laura – I've changed my mind! I'm not going to embarrass you

Now, I could take the credit for this as being a kind and considerate dad and sparing her blushes.

But the truth of the matter, is I'm scared that if I tell you about some the embarrassing things she has done over the years – she'll retaliate by telling you some of the downright daft things I've done over the years!

Laura was born on May 9th 1983 after a very long and arduous labour. She was a Morriston girl from the start, born in MorristonHospital at about 11.00 in the evening

When the midwife gave her to her mother to hold she said something that I've never forgotten.

She said:

A son is a son till he gets a wife

A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life.

I instantly thought  –  ah that's nice – only later did I begin to worry about the fact that it implies a lifetime of responsibility

When she was very little we had awful problems in getting her to drink her feeds.

She failed to put on weight and we were so worried that we got her referred to Mr Forbes, the Consultant Paediatrician at MorristonHospital.

Mr Forbes was baffled. He said that in his entire career he had never seen a little baby girl with such a strong determination not to drink her feeds. It wasn't that she was allergic to milk or anything she just didn't it and that was that.

Mr Forbes asked if we wanted the bad news before the good. Yes, we said – let's have the bad news first.

He said I'm afraid you're going to have a battle royal with this little one. She is incredibly strong willed and just determined not to drink her milk. What is worse, I believe this is a sign that she will become even more stubborn and wilful as she gets older.

Eh  – Ok, what's the good news Mr Forbes we said.  He just smiled and said – well it could be worse – she could be my daughter!

Mr Forbes was certainly right. What Laura didn't want she didn't have. What she didn't want to do she never did. Yes, bringing up Laura was often a mighty challenge. There were nights on end when none of us got any sleep. It was a simple misunderstanding really Laura had just assumed that the cot was the thing you were put in to scream for eight hours. And scream she did. Until she was about eight years old my wife and I had only a handful of complete night's sleep. Yes, Laura was work with a capital W.

But as time went on and her personality developed, her exploits caused us as much hilarity as grief. I often think I could fill a book with stories about our little Laura. If I went on to tell you my whole “catalogue” of funny stories about Laura I'd be still here teatime.

Being Laura's dad was never dull!

I think I can honestly claim she had an eventful, you could say – action packed – childhood and I only hope that she can look back on it as fondly as my wife and I do.  

Whilst preparing this speech I got a little sentimental and decided to look through some old photos of Laura, I've go to admit one little picture caused tears to well up in my eyes. It was of Laura lying on a white rug, she was drooling lots of spit and pointing at the camera lens. She looked so funny, she was trying to stand up but her wobbly little legs wouldn't support her ……..… ah we'll never forget your 18th birthday Laura!

Just kidding folks.

Yes Laura was work alright. But don't they say that the hardest work brings the greatest reward.

And look what a reward we have reaped.

I look at Laura now and I don't see a naughty and wilful little girl any more ….

I see a naughty and wilful grown woman!

Just kidding again honest…

I look at Laura and I see a beautiful young woman

I look at Laura and I see a hard working, capable and very self-determining person

I look at Laura and I see a really loving soul-mate for Darren

I look at Laura and I see a wonderfully caring and loving mother to Amelia

I look at Laura and I see a person who is loyal and true to her family and friends

And I see someone whom I hope will always look back on her childhood and be grateful for what we did right – but understand our frailties when we didn't get everything right.

TO L

Laura, I am very proud of you and, above all, proud of the person you've grown into.

The naughtiness has changed into a wonderfully capricious sense of humour.

The wilfulness has changed into a single minded determination to achieve what you desire.

And what makes me proudest of all – is that it's mostly your doing Laura.

Yes as parents we tried to guide, help and influence you – but throughout your adult life you've mostly made your own decisions – and yes you've made a few mistakes but what you have got right far outweighs what you have got wrong.

BACK to A

One of the proudest things that can happen to you as a parent is when your child sets out on a path which you think is unwise but in the end they prove you wrong.

L

Laura, you have proved me wrong a number of times and I absolutely delight in it.

I would now like to say a few words about the groom, Darren. 

The old line is that marriage is not about loosing a daughter but gaining a son.

It may be a bit of an old cliché but in Darren's case Pat and I feel its really true.

In the 14 years or so I have known Darren I have come to know him as a hard working, caring and loyal person. Like Laura he is a person for whom family and friends are very important. Looking around the room is certainly a testament to that.  

It's traditional to welcome the groom to our family at this point – but Darren has already been a part of our family for many years and for years both Pat and I have thought of him as a son-in-law in all but a formal sense.

Most importantly – Darren is a very loving and supportive partner for Laura

I am confident that Laura & Darren are perfect for each other. I know they are temperamentally very different but this is a good thing since their qualities and strengths are also different and so they complement each other so well.

The actor Richard Burton is credited with saying “A woman accepts a man as he is and then spends the rest of her life trying to change him” and I think this certainly  applies to Laura.

I know she loves Darren just as he is –

but I think she sometimes fantasises that one day she'll produce Darren 2.0

Darren 2.0 will spend hours cooking & cleaning

Darren 2.0 will never ever make a mess around the house

Darren 2.0 will never forget to do things –

In fact he will do everything without being asked

Darren 2.0 will always be instantly contactable.

Etc etc

Laura – I don't know if you will succeed in this – I can only say that Pat has been trying to produce Philip 2.0 for 46 years – but progress is only very minimal. In fact Pat's favourite saying is it would be quicker to train a monkey!

But I do know that Darren has changed – And Laura too : they have both grown and developed and matured enormously during the years they've been together. And it seems to me that Darren and Laura bring out the best in each other.

Darren has also been REALLY changed by the arrival of another person – a very special little person. In just two and a half years this little person has transformed our Darren into “Superdad”.

Darren has boundless love for Amelia

Darren has infinite patience with Amelia

Darren has a determination to provide the best for her and give her a wonderful and memorable childhood.

I sometimes  think Darren would walk over hot coals just to please her.

Plainly put, Darren – Pat and I want to say thank you.

Thank you for being such a loving partner and now husband to Laura.

And thank you for being such a lovely daddy to our little star, Amelia Lily.

I am sorry if this sounds a bit too emotional but it is genuinely what Pat and I feel and in any case weddings are really emotional events aren't they – look even the cake is in tiers!

Normally at this stage the FOTB is supposed to offer wise and fatherly advice to the bride and groom.

Seems reasonable, after all Pat and I have been together for so long now so we should be able to offer some pearls of wisdom.

But I am not going to do this for two reasons,

Firstly, times and circumstances change and what was wise and sensible for us during our young lives together is not necessarily right for Darren and Laura today.

Secondly, Laura wouldn't listen anyway – (to L) not a criticism L good for you in taking so much charge of your life.

The only advice I will offer is this

A philosopher once said, a man who gives in when he's wrong is a wise man: A man who gives in when he's right is a married man!

Although this quote is a bit facetious there is a sensible interpretation of it which is that arguing about who is right and who is wrong is futile and time wasting. Playing the blame game is a completely useless exercise. If something goes wrong – think about putting it right not who was the person to make it go wrong in the first place.

Pat and I never ever play the blame game (do we dear) – she says its all your fault and I say yes, sorry dear. – To be fair mind, it IS normally my fault!

Now Just before I finish I'd like to thank the all the ushers and Jason, the best man, for doing a great job. And the bridesmaids for all looking so lovely and all the friends and family who assisted Laura in preparing the room

I'd like also to thank The Diplomat hotel – and especially Sheldon for taking personal charge of the arrangements with such extreme professionalism and attention to detail. Well done Sheldon!

Also I'd like to thank my son, Andrew for taking photographs which I am sure will become treasured memories of this happy and wonderful day.

This is getting as bad as the Oscars now isn't it – gee – I'd like to thank my mom

And special thanks also to all the children who have patiently sat through all these boring bits without creating mayhem! Thanks kids,

Now weddings are, and should be a time of happiness and celebration and I don't want to darken the proceedings too much. But there are several people who would have loved to have been here today but have sadly been lost to us and there are a couple of people who are not here today due to serious ill health so please let us all take a few moments to reflect on the lives of our absent friends.

PAUSE

Finally, (At last! I hear you saying – mutter – thought he'd never shut up mun) now it is my pleasant – no delightful duty – to propose a toast to the happy couple and I know that everyone here will want to join me in wishing them a long, loving, happy and healthy future together 

FACE L AND D

Yes – Remember you pasts – and yes plan for your future together – but more than this treasure every moment of your present together – because REALLY time flies! And remember what it says on the little vases you bought us.

Live well ; love much;  laugh often

So Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the –

Bride and Groom

Darren and Laura,

Mr and Mrs Grove.