Speech by Ross Wordley

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Ross Wordley
Speech Date: dec 2002
WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?
Thank you for the kind introduction, George. Being asked to be the MC really is a tough job – rather like being asked to sleep with the Janette Howard (John's wife) – it's a great honour, but no-one really wants to do it!
Good evening everyone, my name is Fred, the husband of Wilma and I am the father of the bride.
Wow…Pebbles was born, I blinked, and here I am, giving the bride's father's speech.
23 Years ago…1979…
“Prisoner”, “The Young Doctors” and “The Sullivans”, all began on TV that year.
The Sony Walkman was launched;
John Wayne died;
Margaret Thatcher became Britain's first female prime minister;
Mother Teresa won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979;
Y.M.C.A. was the top selling hit of the year;
Where has the time gone?
ABOUT THE SPEECH
About 15 months ago Wilma mentioned to me one day that Pebs and BamBam were coming to see us and that wedding plans were on the agenda. Being the sort of person I am, I thought about the options open to them, eloping somewhere, registry office, overseas, but no Wilma, Pebs and BamBam stuck to their guns and the Town Hall it is. To be serious for a moment I am glad that you talked me round because this has been a wonderful wedding day and it's not over yet by a long way.
Now I understand there was betting going on whether I would have tears in my eyes when I took Pebbles down the aisle. For those of you who thought you saw tears, may I put the record straight? I did have tears in my eyes, but that was because I am still worrying over what the MasterCard will look like on Monday morning. Right, the speech.
I've tried to memorise this speech, but forgive me if I resort to my notes every five seconds. In fact, as soon as I realised I had to give a speech, I searched the internet for ideas. After much research, I found some good advice, and have used my computer to make some perfect memory notes….And here they are!
[Produce floppy disk with a flourish]
I know that at a lot of weddings this is the speech that everyone dislikes and Wilma has asked me to keep it short. In fact, I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat; …if I go on too long Wilma has threatened to cut it. I've got strict instructions not to tell Jokes & to keep it short.
THE WELCOMES
Standing here now takes me back to the last occasion that I was called upon to say a few words at a wedding. It was twenty-six years ago in November and it was my wedding to Pebs's mum (that's Wilma). I recall being totally lost for any thing of any consequence to say. A feeling of total inadequacy descended upon me. It was a new experience to me. I was young and really knew nothing about being inadequate.
To ensure I had something to say, I looked up an “On This Day” list to see what else was special about December 14th and here you go:
El Salvador : Revolution Day (I thought they would have one each month);
Turkey : Festival of the Whirling Dervishes
1503 Nostradamus was born in, France.
1901 1st table tennis tournament ever is held at the London Royal Aquarium
1911 Amundsen reaches the South Pole, beating Scott by 35 days.
1960 Australia vs West Indies 1st Test Cricket at the Gabba ends in a tie
1963 Verne Gagne beats The Crusher in Minneapolis, to become NWA champion
1964 Michael Brown meets Rene Fladen, then writes "Walk Away Rene"
1969 Jackson Five made their 1st appearance on "Ed Sullivan Show"
1972 Alexander's department store in New York stayed open late so Alice Cooper could do his Christmas shopping.
1977 "Saturday Night Fever", starring John Travolta, premieres in New York NY
But for us the day is about Pebbles and BamBam. Today, we, both Rubbles and Flintstones, are surrounded by many of the friends and family that have been important to us through our lives. Some have travelled a long way, just to be here today. On behalf of Betty and Barney, Pebbles and BamBam, Wilma and myself – we especially welcome
[Their Attendees]
Middle East Brigid, Robert & Alexandra A (Barney's sister & children)
Buderim Francesca & Belinda B (Barney's sister & daughter)
Sydney James C (BamBam's cousin)
Canberra Barney & Diana D (Betty's brother & wife)
Rachel & Wayne E (BamBams cousin & husband)
Melbourne Paul E (Barney's brother)
Hobart Sue & Sarah F (Barney's sister & daughter)
Timothy G (Barney's brother)
[Our Attendees]
Melbourne Gordon and Debbie H (our good friends)
Whyalla Vicki I (Wilma's sister)
Mildura Kate J & Shane (Wilma's niece
Price Jim & Helen K (Wilma's brother)
But of course, welcome to you all and thank you sincerely for sharing and celebrating this special day with us.
I would like to thank Phillip (our priest) for a lovely service. I understand you can find him on the internet at www.god.com. Thanks to Phillip's boss for the weather. And thanks to my handsome grandson Eric and the beautiful Layla for their performance at the church (miracles still do happen).
PEBBLES (AND BAMBAM)
It is traditional at this point to bring up a mildly embarrassing moment from Pebbles's past or to highlight a strange character trait so that you can have a little giggle at her expense; but on the basis that she has got so much more on me than I have on her, in the interest of self preservation, I'm just going to skip that.
In fact I was telling Pebs the other day that, because I was worried about choking up, I wouldn't be able to say nice things about her today. She put her hands on her hips and said: "Well somebody had better say something nice!"
When Pebs was young she said to me, daddy when I get married I want to look like a fairy princess. I maybe slightly biased, but I'm sure that you will all agree with me that Pebbles does look like a beautiful fairy princess. BamBam, I think you have won the lottery. Pebbles you do look absolutely fabulous.
We are so proud today, to see Pebbles looking so beautiful. She has always brightened up our lives (mostly because she never turns off the lights). She dresses to kill, and cooks the same way.
When they were both staying with us, Pebbles once made dinner for BamBam, but unfortunately the cat got it first. Pebbles was quite upset, but BamBam told her that we could easily get another cat. And it is not true that she uses the smoke alarm as the timer.
I am only joking; she is so very special to us.
Some time ago Pebs asked me what does it cost to get married. I had to admit–I just don't know—- I had never thought of it in dollar terms. So I asked Pebbles, what she was looking for in marriage, she said love, happiness and companionship. I asked BamBam the same question; he replied……A barbeque! So that's him happy already.
I believe marriage will teach BamBam loyalty, self-restraint, control, it will develop in him a sense of fair play —— and many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had stayed single.
And BamBam and Pebs are extremely well suited, aren't they? Both easy going (except Pebs), both respectful to their parents (except Pebs), both able to deal with disaster and triumph in the same way (except Pebs, I'm not saying drama queen). Never mind, we love her to bits and she knows it.
[Pause]
THE ADVICE
Pebbles, BamBam…today, you may consider your wedding day to be the best day of your life. ONLY TODAY THOUGH. It is only the best day of your life TO DATE. You see a Marriage Certificate on its own is not a qualification. It doesn't mean that you have achieved anything; it has no value of its own. It comes with no guarantees of quality; it makes no mention of the length of the marriage that it refers to.
My own wedding day 26 years ago has not been the best day of my life. Our marriage has given us much better days than that. We have travelled, raised a family who are now well adjusted adults (most of the time) and are counted among our friends, which is nice. Wilma and I have had our ups and downs. But our relationship is now bonded by a lifetime's memories and mutual experience. We are human, and therefore capable of doing dumb things from time to time, (me especially).
What is important is that at those times one learns from experiences and emerges from them a better and more complete person. There can be no substitute for experience and learning from your own actions – as much as we (as parents) try to keep you from it.
THE TOAST
I started planning this speech a month ago, …and you must feel like I have been delivering it equally as long.
So now for the toast…don't come in too early – wait for the cue.
Here's to the past, for all that you have learned
Here's to the present, for all that you share
Here's to the future, for all that you look forward to together
Here's to love, laughter
and happily ever after.
As BamBam and Pebbles start their new life,
Let's toast the new husband and wife!
To two very special people, BamBam and Pebbles.
[Pause]
Now, finally to stop you from singing, some musical advice…..…
[The first couple of verses of Bobby Vee's version of "Take Good Care of My Baby"]