Speech by Simon Edgington

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Simon Edgington
Speech Date: Sep 1999
I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat; …if I go on too long Maggie has threatened to cut it.

I've tried to memorise this speech, but forgive me if I resort to my notes every five seconds. I did ask for an autocue to be set up in front of me, but apparently the wedding budget doesn't stretch that far … and neither does my eyesight.

This takes me back to the last occasion that I was called upon to say a few words at a wedding. It was twenty five years ago this December and it was my wedding to Nick's Mum Maggie.

I recall being totally lost for any thing of any consequence to say. A feeling of total inadequacy descended upon me. It was a new experience to me. I was young and really knew nothing about being inadequate

You see a Marrage Certificate on it's own is not a qualification. It doesn't mean that you have achieved anything, It has no value of it's own.

It comes with no Guarantees of quality, it makes no mention of the length of the marrage that it refers to. In fact many happy compatible couples have no use for marriage at all.

Now I can say this because Marrage has worked for me,but I accept that it has not served everyone as well. My Wife and I have been together for twenty five years.

Nowdays, that is a qualification!

I believe marriage will teach Nick loyalty, self-restraint, control, it will develop in him a sense of fair play —— and many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had stayed single…

Some time ago Nick asked me what it would cost to get married. I had to admit–I just don't know—- I'm still paying

I asked Nick, what he was looking for in marriage, he said love, happiness and eventually a family.

I asked Nicky the same question, she replied……A TOASTER!

I got married in 1974

The year of the three day week

Disposable plastic razors invented by Gillette and Free family planning available on the NHS.

I was working eight nights a week, I had an electric shaver and Maggie was expecting Lee. So all of those significant events some how passed me by.

I was also unaware that in that year my future daughter in law was to be born.

In 77 The US space shuttle prototype ‘Enterprise’ flys for the first time. Red Rum wins Grand National for 3rd time. Elvis Presley collapsed in a bathroom for the last time.

Which is quite a coincidence really, because Nick was born that very year and like Elvis Presley, Ladies and gentlemen, he is prone to collapsing in bathrooms!

It's hard to imagine how Nick feels today,

how does the first day of the rest of your life manifest itself for a man who's experience of reality is that unpleasant pause while the playstation loads the next game?

So I have defined what you do not nessessarily get from a marrage certificate. Perhaps I had better now say what I think a marrage certificate is.

A marrage certificate is very much like a blank lottery ticket. It carries the anticipation of a rosy future. Everything always perfect from now on. At the time of aquiring it, there is nothing to distiguish an out and out no hoper from the jackpot.

Like a lottery , a marriage requires some input from you. Like a lottery it rather depends on the selections or decicions that you make.

Unlike a lottery having made the initial decicions, one shouldn't just sit back and wait to see if your prize has come up. Marriage is a participation game and requires constant tweeking and fine tuning.

Today, you may consider your wedding day to be the best day of your life. ONLY TODAY THOUGH. The best day of you r life TO DATE.

My wedding day 25 years ago has not been the best day of my life.

Our marrage has given us much better days than that.

We have raised a family who are now well adjusted adults (most of the time) and are counted among our closest friends, which is nice. We have had our ups and downs.But our relationship is now bonded by a lifetimes memories and mutual experience.

We are human ,and therefore capable of doing dumb things from time to time. What is important is that at those times one learns from experiences and emerges from them a better and more complete person. There can be no substitute for experience and learning from ones own doings.

Nick: The key to a long and happy marriage it to remember those two little words; Yes dear!

In a succsessful marraige one sometimes has to indulge ones partner with an abundence of tollerence. This is one of the numbers to include on your lottery ticket.

Nicky–One of your mother in laws favorite sayings (Which I do not entirely understand why) is this—- and I quote

If you love something, set it free,

If it comes back, it was, and always will be, yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with .

If all it does is just sit in your house, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses the telephone, takes your money, and monopolises your television,

you either married it, or gave birth to it.

Now what could she have meant by that ?

Because you are not super human, you will have good days together and not so good.

This time next year you can look back and recall this commitment today and consider your celebration.

If your numbers have come up! Twelve months will have bonded this marraige with happy memories, yours exclusivly, as will subsequent years.

I would like to welcome Mrs Nicky Exxxxxxxx My new Daughter in law, to my family. Nick she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one

I'd like to wish you a very happy marriage, and I hope you have a great honeymoon, which you will find is that period between ‘I do’ and ‘You'd better’.

I started planning this speech a month ago, …and you must feel like I have been delivering it equally as long, So that is all from me

Except to mention one quality that a successful lottery ticket and a successful marrage certificate require alike.

It is a quality that Maggie and I seem to have enjoyed with our marrage certificate, although I have to say not ever with a lottery ticket. It is the one aspect we have no control over, so it is no call to be smug.

I would like to ask those here present today to join me in a toast to wish Mr and Mrs Nick Exxxxxxxx all the luck in the world.