Speech by Stephen Ackers

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Stephen Ackers
Speech Date: mar 2004
WEDDING OF RACHAEL LOUISE ACKERS TO ALAN GORDON RAE
15TH FEBRUARY 2003

I'd like to extend a warm welcome to all of you here today. For those of you that still don't know who I am I'm Steve the bride's father

Margaret and I welcome Alan's parents Gordon and Jane, their family of Simon and Ben, Alan's brothers, Kezia and Zoë, Alan's sisters and their families and friends, you are all very welcome.

We welcome Rachael's friends and relatives to this happy occasion along with her sister Ruth and brother David.

And most importantly we welcome Alan into our family

When I gave this speech some thought, I realized the part that you all were to Rachael and Alan, they could have had more guests and they could have had less BUT they wanted a few select people… Unfortunately they couldn't come, so we had to settle for you lot!

Simon will probably pay tribute to others but there is one particular person here that I would like to pay specific honour to, one without whom this whole ceremony would not have been possible. As you may be aware, Rachael and Alan only announced late in 2002 their intentions to marry in February. Since that date, day after day, night after night, one person and one person alone has laboured continuously, fretting at times to make sure that this whole show got on the road. Like a conductor with an orchestra she has fine-tuned the arrangements so that today could be a success. I pay tribute to my wonderful wife Margaret.

As a Dad, today is so vitally important especially as one of my daughters is now officially married. Many of you know that we have 3 children, Rachael, Ruth and David and I love each one of them with the same love. All 3 uniquely different, all 3 with their own personalities and individual ways and yet all three highly treasured, loved and respected by Mags and I.

There's something about a daughter getting married that touches the heart of a Dad. As a Dad I have tried endlessly to get it right and there was a time in Rachael's mid teenage life when I was failing miserably BUT if there's one thing we as a family have always done and that's talk. Rachael and I fought like cat and dog at one period, I was concerned that I would lose her, drive her away but Mags became the umpire, the referee and Rachael and I developed a wonderful friendship. She even came to work with me for 2 wonderful years and I was so proud of her. This was something I could never have imagined at one point, I love her today more than words can say; and yet …all of her life was nearly never started.

She had a miraculous birth, the cord was wrapped several times round her neck, Mags and Rachael nearly died at the birth, 10 weeks into her little life she became critically ill, it wasn't until several years later whilst talking to a staff nurse that had been on duty that night that I learned that they hadn't held much hope for her coming through the night and yet here she is today.

When 2 people get married do you ever wonder where they were all those years apart before they knew each other? What paths they took, where they lived, how many miles apart they were, did their paths ever cross before they fell in love? Have you ever wondered? No I haven't either!

Our lives have been littered with house moves as we attended different churches up and across the country.
In our first house Rachael developed a taste somewhat removed from this excellent restaurant, it was a taste for buttered woodlice. We caught her once, jaws chomping as ever, she was only a toddler at the time, and when we asked she showed us half a woodlice in her hand. If it wasn't woodlice it was taking the Flora margarine out of the fridge and sitting on the stairs spooning it out! Hence buttered woodlice.
Some months later she was in the company of a lady, Rachael was playing on the floor and much to the horror of this lady; Rachael looked up and announced, “You've got a bogey in your nose!” Rachael's always been direct.
The silence of the house in a morning was often interrupted with Rachael singing

Today however is about Rachael and Alan, 2 young people with their lives before them. 2 separate lives until this point but now they are about to steer a different life together for better or for worse. No one likes the worse times but Rachael and Alan, you can do things better than the Ackers way and better than the Rae way you can put the strengths of both of you together and succeed your way. Never hold secrets from one another, always be honest, true and open with each other and talk, talk, talk.
Talking of talking…! You may have noticed that men and women talk a different language even if they are from the same country of origin!! Let me explain… a man decides to take his wife to an ice cream parlour but he hasn't been there for a few years. It was somewhere they used to go when they were dating so this was a kind of special place to them both. “Pick anything you want darling he said to his wife” She chose a large banana split with a big smile on her face. The husband was delighted and as he approached the counter he glanced up and noticed the price. With an astounded “HOW MUCH” he immediately sent a signal to his wife. He was simply surprised at the price but his wife took it that she wasn't worth the price of a banana split. I'm sure that story is something we can all relate to if we are married or in a relationship?
Remember the book title Rachael and Alan, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus

In closing, I always have 3 closures!! I mentioned before about the DAD thing why?
For 22 years tomorrow I have been the MALE provider in her life. Providing love, protection, security, money, stability, a shoulder to cry on, someone to argue with! I have been the male role model, BUT from this day forward that has changed for ever. As a Dad that isn't easy to do, Alan is now the number 1 male in Rachael's life. I remember talking with Alan when they were considering getting engaged when we lived in the Midlands. I said to him then that one day when they got married he would take over my role. I remember as sweat dropped from his brow he said he realised the responsibility. Today, I was asked during the service, “Who gives this woman?” Alan I gave her to you and I already know that you love her and cherish her and I'm proud as your official father in law to hand Rachael over to a fine young man that you are Alan.

At the start of your married life together always remember this quote,
“ When a man and a woman marry they become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one?”

Forming a new life together before these witnesses and before God is a great opportunity to make something good happen, be patient with one another, love one another without conditions and regardless of who's right. Remember that marriage is like a bank account, If you don't deposit into it, either of you, you'll never have something to withdraw when you need to. Be tolerant, good marriages don't happen overnight, like good wine they take years to mature.

On that that fitting note I propose a toast to the bride and groom Rachael and Alan, Mr and Mrs Rae

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