Speech by Steve Dawson

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Steve Dawson
Speech Date: Sep2004
Ladies and Gentlemen , On behalf of Lindsey & Andrew may I extend a warm welcome to you all, to this their Wedding Reception.

I'm only going to say a few words today because of a problem with my throat – the problem being that Dawn has threatened to cut if I ramble on too much.

Now before I start I have been doing some research into Wedding Etiquette and would like to remind all the guests that it is customary to laugh occasionally during the speeches part of the reception even when really it's as dull as a rainy day in Blackpool.

First of all I would like to congratulate Lindsey and Andrew on this their first day of wedded bliss. Everything has gone so well and so I would like to thank everyone who has contributed towards making this day very special. I'd also like to pay a tribute to our 2 little bridesmaids ,Demi and Bethany, who look fabulous and who have been excellently behaved throughout the day and Also to Karen the Chief Bridesmaid who has been quite well behaved as well. Whenever I see Karen I take great pleasure in winding her up, but instead today I want to thank her for the support and friendship shown to Lindsey during the Wedding preparations . Thanks also to Lee. Andrew's best man for a job well done, to Dawn , Brenda and George for their efforts, to Mr Jobes and the caterering staff for an excellent meal, the bar Staff and to all of the rest of the people whom I haven't mentioned. And Thanks to you all for being here to help mark this happy occasion.

On Thursday night we had to go to the church for a dress rehearsal The Vicar asked Lindsey if she was nervous. She naturally replied yes. The Vicar comforted her by telling her that there were only 3 things to remember at the church. The First thing she had to remember was the aisle which she would be walking down. Then she would arrive at the Altar where the vicar said she would guide her through the ceremony then after this their would be some hymns to sing and then it will all be all over . So today we arrived at the Church and as we are walking down the Aisle I don't know what people must have thought as Lindsey walked along repeating I'll Alter Him..

I asked Andrew what he was looking for in this marriage. He replied Love, Happiness and a family. I asked Lindsey the same question to which came the reply ‘ A NEW TOASTER’

Now I would like to say some derogatory things about Andrew and Lindsey but they are both slipping me £20 each so I will keep them to myself .

Seriously though I think that anyone who knows Lindsey & Andrew , Mr & Mrs Meadows, like we do know that they are perfectly suited to each other and will enjoy many happy years together. They have so much in common, I mean they're always arguing about the same things. Now you might be forgiven for thinking that Lindsey will be making the meals for her new Husband but unfortunately that isn't the case. I think Dawn and myself detected this some years ago. Lindsey was just reaching the age where she could be trusted in the house on her own. On returning home one day I opened the pedal bin to find an unopened tin of cornbeef lying on the top. When I challenged Lindsey as to what it was doing there she replied ‘the key snapped before I could get the tin open’ And so it is that Andrew is the Chief Cook and bottle washer in the House , so much so that when he is preparing a meal he likes to look the part as I found to my surprise when visiting one day. (Show Photo)

It was of course taken on the night of the Stag Party, where we encouraged Andrew to dress up in women's clothes but it almost backfired as Lindsey brought him a change of clothing at Nine ‘0′ Clock but Andrew couldn't decide whether to change or not. Common Sense prevailed in the end as with every pint drunk the skirt was getting tighter and tighter as was Andrew.

I don't need to welcome Andrew to the family as he is already a big part of it and not only have I today gained a Son in Law but also a good friend. He has been a keen angler for many years and loves a night by the local fishing lake but today I think he's probably got his biggest catch yet. She's been on the end of the line for quite a while but now he has finally reeled her in.

We are so proud of Lindsey today, looking, so beautiful.
She has always brightened up our lives, she never turned the lights off after her. She has nothing to wear, but fills six wardrobes with it.
She dresses to kill, and cooks the same way.
Seriously though, she is so very special, to us.

And so now that I've seen the glint of a steak Knife out the corner of my eye it's time for me to end my part of the precedings and I urge you all to enjoy the rest of the day and again at the Hetton Centre Tonight.

So as Lindsey and Andrew start their new life

Lets toast the New Husband and Wife

May your Roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out.