Speech by Steve Evans

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Steve Evans
Speech Date: Apr2007
As father of the bride it is my privilege to make the first speech. I would like to welcome all our guests. To-day we are surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some of them have travelled hundreds of miles just to be here today. On behalf of Ann and I, Myra, Kelly and Rob – we welcome you all and thank you most sincerely for sharing this special day with us. However as always on occasions such as this there are always friends and family who cannot make it. To be truthful on Monday I thought that my loving wife also known as Olga Korbut of Callands wouldn't be here. However the orthopaedic staff at warrington general pulled out all the stops . So first of all please join me in a toast to absent friends and family.

I know that at a lot weddings this is the speech that everyone dreads, both Kelly and Ann have asked me to keep it short.

I even know that there is a book running on how long the speech will last, all I will say to the person who is running the book, put me down for 59 minutes and 58 seconds.

I also understand there was betting going on whether I would have tears in my eyes when I took Kelly down the aisle, for those of you who saw the tears, may I put the record straight. I did have tears in my eyes, but that was because I was worrying over what I would say to my bank manager and accountant on Monday morning after paying for this.

As many of you know I am not really a religious man but consider myself blessed. I have a gorgeous wife, two loving daughters and a granddaughter I would die for, and now there is the addition of Rob. But more about him later!

Ann and I are so proud today, Kelly has always brightened up our lives -mostly because when was at home she never turned any lights off ! As you can see She dresses to kill, the trouble is She cooks the same way. Kelly is the only person I know that when you go All inclusive on holiday she still wont go to the bar! Rob I think you are going to be busy in Mexico next week mate.

On the way here driving the car a mixture of pride and absolute relief swept over me, at this point I went into a trance like state a bit like our Nicks driving, thinking of all the things that could go wrong and stared out of the window, looking at the centre of the road seeing the white lines and the occasional cats eye, I then thought of how they had been invented, which, was for those that don't know is reputed to have been during the black out during WW2 when a cars lights reflected in a “moggies” eyes giving the inventor that great idea, I just wonder if the cat had been facing the other way whether he would have invented the pencil sharpener!

Standing here reminded me of a joke. Two TV aerials met on a roof, they fell in love and eventually married. The wedding pictures were pretty good but the reception was brilliant. OK, no more jokes!!

Rob is more of a mate than a son in law sorting my phone: sorting my laptop: sorting my wifi to name but a few. I just wish this was your area Rob maybe you could have sorted out the signal strength here at Statham lodge Sorry Rich I didn't want to be the first to give you grief
Rob as you already know, Kelly will always have the last word in any argument. Remember as Oscar Wilde said “Women are meant to be loved and not understood”

And always remember there is no challenge in a marriage that can't be overcome by one or more of the following:

OK I was wrong
OK You were right!
Yes dear

And the most important OK love! Just buy it

But remember Rob, a man is not complete until he is married. Funny thing marriage though, did you know they carried out a survey recently to establish whether married men live longer than bachelors do? Apparently, there's absolutely no difference it just seems longer when you're married!
Rob With Kelly you get what you see and we are so proud to see her looking so beautiful today but in these dad's eyes she is beautiful every day! And I shouldn't need to tell you both that even though you are now married we will always be there for you!

Finally a bit of advice that I was given on my wedding day was!! Never go to bed in the middle of an argument. Evidently after 26 years of marriage that must have been good advice well that together with I am normally too pissed at weekends to argue anyway !!!

Well, that was it! The great day is half over! One down – one to go! – Daughters, that is!

But to be serious for a moment, Kel I know that Mum and I would have preferred that you had your wedding on a beach in the Caribbean, but in a way we are glad you didn't, because this has been a wonderful wedding day, and it's not over yet! It is only right that we should toast the Bride and Groom, but we should also toast everyone here. You have come to help us celebrate this special occasion, of those we love, and who love each other. And by our presence, we show the happy couple friendship and love, and bring even greater joy to them.

So please join me in a toast to The Bride and Groom

I know that both David and Bonehead are both really looking forward to standing here before you and making their speeches, so thank you all for listening, and I hope everyone enjoys today as much as I am.