Speech by Tony Winder

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Tony Winder
Speech Date: Jul2006
Father of the bride speech- Clare &amp Steve-28th July 2006

Ladies &amp Gentlemen – for those of you that don't know me I'm Tony – Clare's dad and on behalf of Pat and the family, I would like to welcome you all here today – to celebrate the marriage of our eldest daughter Claire to Steve.

“As Henry V111 said to each of his wives in turn – I'll try not to keep you very long,”

I was told by my good friend Councillor Leonard Entwistle the ABC and XYZ of public speaking – ABC – Always be confident – XYZ – Examine your zip
I must admit that standing here – speaking as the Father of the Bride today, is a much more daunting prospect than I am used to – The last talk I gave was hard enough – I was the Guest Speaker at the Annual Dinner of the Gay &amp Lesbian Society – at The Odd Fellows Hall in Watford – so I am absolutely delighted to see so many familiar faces here today!
On behalf of Pat and myself – I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to welcome, on this very happy occasion – Peter and Anne, Steve's parents, – together with sister Debbie and husband Gary – friends and relatives of both families many who have travelled from the North West and as far away as Australia &amp America

At this point I would like to mention some important people who are not here today.

First – Clare's granddad Ernie – who doted on Claire I am sure he is looking down on us as I speak – with a pint in his hand – my mum Nan Winder – The big boss even at 4ft 11 – when she said jump you had to ask – how high – and for how long – my two sisters Anita &amp Margaret – Who both passed away in their prime. Steve's grandparents, Aunt's and Uncle's and all those who can't be with us today

They are all here in spirit – and I'm sure they are looking down today – proud of the way the happy couple have turned out on this their happy day.

At this point Ladies &amp Gentlemen I would like you to stand – while I propose the first toast of the day – The toast is “Absent Friends”

At the last wedding reception I attended – two of the guests were the vicar and an elderly old uncle who were chatting in a corner – I offered them a drink and the vicar asked for a large whisky – The old uncle said ‘No thanks – I'd rather go with a scarlet woman than touch the demon drink – The vicar promptly gave me back his drink and said ‘I didn't know there was a choice’ – Now I don't want to offend anybody so if there is a vicar present I apologise – and if there is a scarlet woman here – I'll meet you in the bar after the meal.

For those of you that don't know me I am quite shy- reserved and laid back – and for those of you that don't know Claire she is the complete opposite – So as I look down along the table I see a very talented- independent – attractive – elegant – gorgeously stunning young woman – Claire – no doubt you'll agree a reflection of her mother – Her reflection from me of course is her cooking skills – her organising talents – her humour – good and bad – and her allergy to housework.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Pat for being an outstanding mother and a guiding influence in the upbringing of Clare – Let me raise my glass to you Pat in a private toast – DRINK – Anything for a drink!

I know they will be thanked later – but a big thank you to the Bridesmaids – Sarah – it's your turn next to find a husband – but please give me a few years to build up my bank account. She is off to Thailand on Tuesday and may return with a Thai guy.

I should also say a few words about Danielle – Clare's stepsister – yesterday I found out the lengths she will go to – to find a man.
We stopped at Warwick services for a comfort break – I went to the Gents – to find Danielle stood by the Urinals with big smile on her face – she said she had walked thru the wrong door – any single men who are looking for an attractive girl – see me later for an introduction.

I would like to say that Clare is looking wonderful today – She's had a hard week leading up to the wedding – not many people know this but she actually had her credit card stolen on Monday – Steve is not reporting it to the police because whoever nicked it is spending less than Clare!

Clare – you are the daughter every parent dreams of having – You came into the world on 15th January 1971 – 1972 – I remember shortly after the birth – the midwife said to me – ”She looks just like you Mr Winder – Then she realised her mistake – and turned Clare the right way round!.

You were the first grandchild to your mums parents Jean &amp Ernie – when I went tell your grandma that your mum had been admitted to the Maternity ward – I also had to give her the bad news that her own mother had died that morning – so your grandma Cubitt had lost her mother – your mum lost a grandma – and you came into this world on the same day

Clare – you fought through some tough times with incredible determination and courage – you have been successful at everything you have done – I love your sense of humour and playful nature – We have shared so many special memories together and I'm sure that there will be many more in the future – I love you in more ways than you can ever believe.

Today I am the proudest man in the whole world – Seeing your daughter looking so happy and radiant is a truly amazing experience – but it is tinged with a little sadness – For those who know me well – being generous does not come natural to me – It phased me a little in the ceremony when I had to give you away – I am a business man and giving away does not come easy!

Clare has been a wonderful daughter to Pat and me and we both thank her for the thirty two unbroken years of joy that she has given us – I know she's thirty-four – but we don't count the first two years – because there was nothing joyful about changing her nappies.

When Clare was toddler – she had two main things that followed her everywhere – A blanket from her cot that she picked all the fluff off – and an imaginary friend called Steven – The blanket is long gone – but Steven is still the man in her life

When Clare was 8 she had major surgery at Leeds Infirmary – which resulted in her appearing on prime time BBC with Jimmy Saville – in a series called Play it Safe – I know that choosing Steve as her husband – she is still Playing it Safe.

At university Clare was notorious for staying in her pyjamas all day – obviously only on days she was not at college – But when ever Clare's flat mate Alison's dad popped in – he would always see her in her pyjamas – so he was curious to know if she had any other clothes – When Alison's parents heard of Clare &amp Steve's engagement the first thing her dad did was – ask if she would be walking down the aisle in her pyjamas – Expensive Pyjamas.

Another true story from Clare's student days in Liverpool – Clare, Karen and some friends went for a meal in a local restaurant – At the end of the meal the fire alarm went off so everyone had to leave and wait outside – Clare, Karen and friends waited for ages along with all the other customers – they thought about doing a runner – in the end they did and never paid for the meal – a bargain – but every time they went near the restaurant they had to do a detour to get to the shops.

Last week I was getting a little sentimental and decided to get out a few old photograph albums – Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned the pages and the one picture that stood out from the others – was the striking photograph of my darling daughter Clare lying on the rug, as nature intended – breaking wind and gurgling at the lens – What a poppet she looked as she kicked her little legs in the air – Yes, it was her 21st Birthday

For those who know Clare she was never short of boyfriends – but was having difficulty finding Mr Right – Just before she met Steve she advertised in the Rossendale Free Press in the “Husbands Wanted” section – And she got 255 replies all saying you can have mine for free.

Steve also tried hard before he found Clare – I understand he sent a photo to the lonely hearts club – but they sent it back saying “we're not that lonely.

The first time I met Steve was when one night I arrived home from work to find a young man sitting in MY CHAIR – where upon he said – “Hello is there football on SKY” – While watching the game I offered him a glass of wine – ‘he must have felt at home because he drank the bottle –
The following day I met Steve on the golf course and found him at the fifth hole – searching high and low. Intending to help – I said: – &quotWhere do you think the ball landed?&quot – &quotThe ball?&quot he said, – &quotThat's on the tee. I'm looking for my club.&quot

During the time we have known Steve, we have come to realise how special he is to Clare – and anyone can see that they are made for each other – He is likeable and easy going, and we are happy to welcome him formally to our family – It may seem condescending but if I had searched the whole world – I could not have found a better person to marry my Daughter.

When Steve asked my permission for Clare's hand in marriage – I immediately wanted to know if he would be able to support a family – The answer was no! – He was only planning to support my daughter – The rest of us would have to look after ourselves.

Steve – not knowing an awful lot about your past, I made enquiries – at your local magistrate's court – I thought that would be a good place to start digging for dirt about my future son in-law – But they had nothing to say – except that the police said you were the perfect guest whenever you stayed overnight in the cells

It is also traditional – that at this point in today's proceedings – that I should try to give these two people who are starting out on their married life together – some advice – particularly you Steve.

As I am not particularly qualified in this subject – I thought at first I could get some ideas by looking back in history to see what others might have said on this very complex subject.

It seems to be a widely held belief by so called experts Steve – that a man is not complete until he has taken a wife – after he is married he is finished.

Another quotation I found said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership – I could not find out who made this statement – but whoever it was – they knew little about marriage – even less about mathematics – and nothing at all about women.

Marriage in this day and age is far from easy – With all the external pressures of day-to-day life – you will need to grow together in mutual trust and understanding – whilst not forgetting what first brought you together – In other words – may your love be modern enough to survive the times – yet old-fashioned enough to last forever

So back to the happy couple – I now need you to both to participate in my speech – Clare please put your hand on the table – Steve place you hand on top of Clare's – You enjoying that Steve – you should be – it's the last time that you will get the upper hand in this relationship

Due to the trouble in Israel – Clare &amp Steve have had to cancel their Honeymoon in Jerusalem – they are now jetting off to the Mauritius – Clare was lucky at last – after 25 phone calls to win a free holiday on Capital Radio that is tailor made for newlyweds – 4 days –and 10 nights

Claire and Steve – there is no challenge in a marriage that cannot be overcome by the following three – three word sentences – I was wrong – You were right – I love you.
So, approaching the toast, ladies and gentlemen, – please stand and make sure your glasses are fully charged – mine is being charged to Barclaycard

Clare and Steve
Here's to the past – for all that it taught you
Here's to the present – for all that you share
And here's to the future – for all that you can look forward together
Ladies &amp gentlemen please raise your glasses.

The toast is…Clare &amp Steve, Bride and Groom

End…….