Speech by Trevor Jennings

Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom
Speech Creator: Trevor Jennings
Speech Date: Jun 2002
Making this speech is like being invited to go to bed with the Queen – It's a great honour but no-one wants to do it.

Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction and those of no distinction, family, relatives, in-laws and outlaws, friends, friends of friends, freeloaders and hangers-on – on behalf of my wife Jean and myself and Ron's mother Renee we extend a warm welcome to Linda and Ron's Wedding breakfast.

This is going to be a short speech on account of my throat. My wife has threatened to cut it if I go on too long.

Keep it short and don't forget the ABC and XYZ of public speaking. ABC – Always be confident. XYZ – Examine your zip.

When I look at Linda and Ron today, Linda looking pretty good and Ron feeling pretty awful, (it's your turn next, Ron) it reminds me that it took a long time for Linda to find the right man.

Actually she put an advert in the Friday Ads “Husband wanted” and had 97 replies saying “You can have mine”.

Ron too also tried hard before he found Linda. I understand he sent his photo to a Lonely Hearts Club and they sent it back saying “We're not that lonely”.

Seriously though we'd like to say what a good choice Linda and Ron have made of each other. I am sure Linda will make the perfect wife and will always help her husband with the dishes.

She deserves a good husband and we certainly approve of her choice because he gave me a colour printer for my computer.

Before I finish, just a few words of wisdom. Never go to bed on an argument – stay up and fight.

And now it gives me great pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple:

Here's to the past for all that you've learned
Here's to the present for all that you share
Here's to the future, for all that you look forward to together.

Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the Bride and the Groom.