Speech by Alan Hopkinson

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Alan Hopkinson
Speech Date: May 2009
It's now time for the bridegroom's speech.
It's the part of the day I have dreaded,
but convention decrees I must do it.
It's the price that you pay to get wedded.

Conventional speeches are boring
I can””t think of much that is worse
So I””ve decided to flout convention
And deliver this speech all in verse

To assist you in keeping awake
And staying quite fully alert
I intend this speech to resemble
An extremely short mini skirt

Just long enough to cover
The things that I'd like revealing
But short enough to attract
Your attention because it's appealing

I'll keep this speech very short
And I trust you'll not find that I'm wrong
As King Henry VIII said to his wives
I shall not be keeping you long.

Well the wait to get wed is now over
Our day has arrived at last
The planning is finished – it all went OK
But how did the time go so fast

All you guests have so kindly gathered
To witness the events of today
And I find myself feeling nervous
About making a speech in this way

My nerves have been jangling this morning
My stomachs been churning away
Because making a speech in public
Is not something you do every day

It's not the first time today I assure you
That I've needed to rise from my seat
With some sheets of paper in my hand
And a feeling that all's not complete

My task is now to express our thanks
On behalf of myself and my wife
And the biggest thanks are due to you all
For sharing this day in our life

With special thanks to those friends
Who've come here from so far away
We are delighted to have you here with us
It has really made our day

A conventional bridegrooms speech
Would thank our parents and my best man
But since we don't have either
I'll fill in as best as I can

I'm sure if my parents were here
They would be delighted to witness this day
I'd like to think Libby's would too
And be pleased at not having to pay

With the formal ceremony now complete
At last we are husband and wife
To love and cherish but not obey
Each day for the rest of our life

You can't imagine how happy it's made me
It is truly a wonderful thing
And I'm feeling oh so very proud
To be wearing this wedding ring.

I'm told that a secret of marriage
And for us men a good rule of thumb
Is whenever you're wrong just admit it
And on the rare times your right just stay shtum

The photos being taken today
I am finding a bit of a strain
It's tough when you're a wrinkly like me
To keep smiling again and again

But the photos will help us remember
All you friends who gave up your time
To spend this wedding day with us
And be subjected to this awful rhyme

I think that Libby looks stunning
The bridesmaids look fabulous too
They make me feel quite under dressed
Even though my suit is quite new

Libby arranged all the flowers
And planned how the ladies be dressed
I have to admit it was worth it
And I trust that like me you're impressed

The stones with your names on the tables
We collected from a beach in Spain
Libby wanted to do something different
Which she does again and again

I guess that you all know our history
And the unusual way that we met
It began when we found each other
On a site on the internet

We then exchanged some Emails
But quickly got frustrated by that
So we decided to jump in the deep end
And we met for some lunch and a chat

We met at the Plough near Bewdley
On May 16th Two Thousand and Eight
We got on so well – it was clear to me
This lady could seal my fate

But I honestly never expected
Such a major change in my life
And that a year to the very day later
That Libby would be my wife

To me Libby is beautiful
She's understanding, gentle and smart
With a lovely sweet caring nature
That truly touches your heart

She's all that a man could wish for
A partner that's truly exciting
I could go on and on with such plaudits
But I just cannot read Libby's writing

Joking apart – on a serious note
I just meant every last word
And I'm now about to repeat it
To make sure that everyone heard

To me Libby is beautiful
She's understanding, gentle and smart
With a lovely sweet caring nature
That truly touches my heart

She's all that I could wish for
A partner that's truly exciting
They're not Libby's – they are my words
And it's definitely in my writing

So now that I've made it quite clear
That my words were what I meant
It's time for a toast – so please be upstanding
All of you ladies and gents

PEOPLE STAND

Now I trust that my lovely Libby
Will not feel uncomfortably coy
When we all drink a toast –
TO LIBBY – MY NEW BRIDE AND JOY.

THE TOAST

It's not just a wife that I've gained
but a loving family for free
And I am truly grateful for the way
You have warmly welcomed me

So special thanks to all of you
Birmingham City fans
Back in our villa your lovely mom
Is in safe and caring hands

We deferred the date of the wedding
Until after the end of the season
When Birmingham City weren't playing
And it was done for a very good reason

Just imagine the gnashing of teeth
If Blues were at home on the day
So we decided to avoid any conflict
And the chance of you playing away

Thanks go to Joolz for his music
That's alive and not out of a can
We always enjoy his performances
In fact Libby's his number one fan

Thanks also are due to the Grimstock
For the excellent service today
They made the day go so smoothly
And they kept all the gremlins away

Thank you all for making this day
One we will surely remember
It was last October we got engaged
And began planning this day in December

But the work and planning was worth it
The pleasure has been extensive
May our future days be as happy
But hopefully less expensive

Now that the wedding is over
We're going away for a week
To the island of Madeira
Some sun and leisure to seek

We will remember this day with affection
A pleasure to recall
It's been great to share it with you
Thank you one and all.