Speech by Andrew Black

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Andrew Black
Speech Date: Jul2005
Thank you David for your kind words and anecdotes, I hope that £10 was enough (I passed him a tenner at this point!).

I've been dreading this bit today as I recently read somewhere that a survey had been conducted of things that people fear most, and top of the list above things like spiders, heights…(getting married)… , was the fear of standing up and making a speech in public. I'm no different, suffice to say that this isn't the first time today I've risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

Anyway, that aside, here we go…

Distinguished guests, guests of no particular distinction, relatives young and old, friends, freeloaders, hangers on, gypsies, tramps, chavs, beggars and thieves and any one else who may have wandered in, may I take this opportunity on behalf of my WIFE and I to thank you all for coming along today and to make this day so special.

Seriously though, the one person in the room to which I owe the most thanks to is Louise, my WIFE!!. She has worked so hard for this day and it shows. I still can't believe that such a wonderful, gorgeous woman chose to marry me. She looks absolutely stunning today, as I'm sure you'll agree.

So, to my wife, my bride, my best friend, my soul mate – thank-you for everything you have done and for making me the happiest man alive. You know everything about me and love me just the same -How cool is that??. I am extremely lucky today to be the one to marry you – and I know this is the start of many, many happy years together.

As you can imagine, today has been the culmination of a tremendous amount of hard work and blood sweat and tears from so many people so very close to Louise and I, and we would like to make a few special ‘thank-you's’

1) To my new parents in law, Linda and David; for agreeing to let me marry your only daughter, for welcoming me into your family (I think the flashing moment in Portugal was a little bit over the top) and for all your help and support in making today so very special.

2) To my parents, Linda and Geoff; for all your help with today, for all your endless love and support and for bringing me up to be the man I am today – I know Louise is very thankful of my ironing and DIY skills!
3) To the bridesmades, who I think you will all agree looked fantastic and did an excellent job of looking after Louise, not only today but on her nice, quiet, chess-playing ,refrained hen nights.

Ladies and Gentleman, please be upstanding, I would like to propose a toast… to the bridesmaids

4) We would like to thank Joan for doing such a sterling job with the wedding cake which I have no doubt in my mind that we are all looking forward to sampling a great big piece of

5) To Lucy, the most beautiful flower girl who did such a good job today, to Josh the very handsome and grown-up page boy, and to all of the other children here who will no doubt do a very good job of looking after their parents when they get drunk later on tonight and dance all funny (I'm looking forward to your robot moves tonight Paul) .

6) I'd also like to thank our excellent team of ushers; Michael, Rod, Gary and Darren. I hope you will agree they have done a great job today, considering their difficulty in telling their left from their rights and I felt they added a certain “nightclub doorman respectability” to the whole occasion and I admired the way they searched the ladies handbags going into the church with such discretion and subtlety. Cheers lads.

7) To Jayne, our wedding co-ordinator, for putting up with my long, boring emails and for making sure today ran smoothly.

8) And finally, to everyone in this room for supporting both Louise and I over the past few years; we are very lucky and privileged to be surrounded by such wonderful people.

We would like to make a special thank you to the Edinburgh contingent for oing such a good job of looking after us in our brief stay in your lovely country, and to my Best Man John for looking after me at Harper, introducing me to Vodka and Red Bull and for organizing such a superb stag weekend in Rome and ensuring that I can happily tick off my list of things to do before I die:

a) See Jodie Kidd sitting in a Lamborghini

b) Take a bath in the fountain at the Vatican

c) Run through Rome in a polyester dress and straw hat, soaked wet
through from having been thrown in yet another fountain

I hope you didn't mind that we didn't have a formal wedding list, but you are all so welcome to come and see our house after the honeymoon to see all the lovely things we will no doubt purchase with all your kind gifts into our wishing well.

Cheers for the £10 gift voucher from Primark John, now I can buy a whole wardrobe just like yours.

We hope as many as possible you can join us tomorrow at my parents to carry on the celebrations, fear not as there will be plenty of fruit juice, Paracetamol, aspirin, prozac etc available.

Well, that's enough from me you'll be pleased to hear, thank you all once again for coming along today from far and wide and making this such a happy day, and if there is one thing you take away from today (other than the silverwear Dennis), that is the best wedding speech you've ever heard………..Which John is going to give you now.