Speech by Andrew C Pattrick

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Andrew C Pattrick
Speech Date: oct 2003
INTRODUCTION

Hi Everyone.
I did have a great speech worked out for today. But now I'm married Kerri has told me what to say.
And, I'm not going to stand here and give you a list of lame jokes. I'm going to leave that to the best man.
I have here, a list of thank you's, but if I do miss anyone I am sorry. Please put it down to nerves as unlike my wife I'm not one for public speaking. Let's just say it's not the first time today I've risen from a seat with a sheet of paper in my hand.

GUESTS + GIFTS
My wife and I would like to thank you all for coming. Kerri and I really appreciate that you all made the effort. We're especially grateful to those of you who have travelled a long way. Some of you have come from Ireland, Devon and Kent [Sneer] Lancashire. I'm just amazed how far people will go for a free meal!
We'd also like to say thanks for all the cards and gifts we have received. Those who have given us money, it is to go towards bedroom furniture and it is truly welcomed! We just hope you are all enjoying the day as much as we are.

HOTEL
We would like to thank the hotel staff for the work they've done, AND ARE GOING TO DO [Grin at co-ordinator] in making sure that today runs smoothly.

BEST MAN
We'd like to thank Richard and Mark for agreeing to be joint best men. Actually I'll hold on to that until I've heard their speech!

BRIDESMAIDS & STORM

We would like to give a big thank you to the bridesmaids, Lorien, Beck and of course Storm. I would like to thank you for helping to get Kerri ready today, god knows how late she would have been otherwise! I have to say how lovely you all look and thank you for doing such a great job today.

BRIDE

I'd like to thank Kerri for organising today almost single handedly.

Thank you for saying yes at the right time, you look fantastic, and I'm sure we're going to have a wonderful life together. Thank you for making me so happy.

PARENTS – THANKS AND GIFTS

Last but not least we would like to thank our parents. At the end of the day none of us would be here right now if it were not for you.

I once heard a question about Adam and Eve, “How do we know they lived in paradise?” With Leslie sat so close I am going to be careful. All I'm going to say is that Adam and Eve didn't have a mother in law!
With all seriousness Thanks for all the support you have shown toward us, and for your help with today. But most of all I'd like to thank Graham and Leslie for doing such a good job of raising my wife.

By the way Graham, I'll sign that receipt for you.
Kerri's mum and Dad have written out a receipt for me, it says :

Received, one daughter in perfect condition, fully guaranteed, fully warranted.
Warning : Under no circumstances should be let in the kitchen. (we'll have to work on that)
Care Notes : Gets bored easily, keep busy with constant supply of chores

Don't worry, Kerri, my folks have a receipt for you. It says :

Received, one son, sold as seen, no refunds under any circumstances.
Warning : The slight discoloration is dirt which may come off with vigorous scrubbing, but don't count on it, it's been there some time!
Care Notes : De-Hydrates easily, top up regularly with beer

END

That's about it from me, I would just like to say before I hand over for the best mans speech, how nervous they were last week. They said that they were struggling for dirt on me, and might have to make it up!

Thanks once again and I'll hand you over to the best man…..Richard/Mark