Speech by Andrew Goss
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Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Andrew Goss
Speech Date: Sep 2008
Gosh so this is what 70 people look like from up here.
Please don't expect too much from me, being a bridegroom is not a role you get lots of practice at, or I hope I won't. I did ask Julie's advise on public speaking, being a teacher, but all she said was to give detentions to any people talking at the back!!.
Now as is custom, there will be a few toasts during my speech, so please don't neck the whole glass of champagne at the first toast. Mentioning no names, Mum.
On behalf of "my most recent ex-girlfriend" and I… or as I have to call her now "my wife", I hope you””re all enjoying yourselves on this special day. It's great to see you all and I can honestly say it would not have been the same without you. It would have been a lot cheaper if some of you couldn””t have made it, but that””s hardly the point.
It was with great joy that Julie and I got engaged last June, not least because the constant teasing by our friends of when we would tie the knot stopped. This was evident by our congratulations cards that we received as without exception they all said "about time too" and "at last !" But one of the best things about finally becoming engaged is that the tables turned and I now feel obliged to tease my mates about when their time is coming. You know who you are!
But thank you for choosing to spend the day with us today, I did have a look on the internet what other events are on today that you might be missing to attend our wedding. These includes Chaz'n”Dave at the Bournemouth pier, 42nd Annual Conference of the International Society for Applied Ethology, and the Devil of the Highland race, a 43 mile fun-run through the Scottish hills, for those that find marathons a tad too easy. So I think on that basis our wedding might be pick of the bunch and I don't blame you for coming!
I also have to say how wonderful it is to see my three grandparents here today, at a collective age of 254 that's no mean feat! I'm very pleased you””re here today to share this with us. I would ask you all to get up and take a bow, but I know how long that takes! And I””ve got a speech to get on with!
To those of you that have given us a cheque as a gift, thank you..no, I really do mean thank-you, we using your account details from the cheques and setting up direct debits paying our utility bills for years to come. Who said identity fraud was a bad idea?
A Wedding takes a huge amount of organisation, as I'm sure you'll imagine. Both Julie and I have been busy planning today for months now. In fact, now we're married we'll have nothing to talk about.
Though I'm looking forward to being able to see my computer screen again as it has literally been covered with Post-It notes these last few months.my colleagues have been a bit concerned about me, especially as one Post-It said ”Pay shop for Dress”
Tradition dictates that I now tell you an amusing story or two about Julie, unfortunately Julie dictates that I do no such thing. But I will say, that we've been living together now for over 3 years, and in that time I've learned a very valuable lesson:
Whenever I””m Wrong – I Admit It!!
Whenever I””m Right – Keep Quiet about it!!
That””s probably good advice for most men actually!!!
When I first met Julie I told her my hobby was dressing up in a rubber suit and facemask at weekends, she wasn't afraid and wanted to know more. When I told her I was in fact a scuba diver, she looked quite disappointed. I wasn””t sure if it was because she knew it would mean hours sat on boats waiting for me to return from the depths or because there was another more daring side to her.
Seriously though, I have to mention how tolerant Julie is of my hobby. Sitting on a boat out at sea in the in the middle of a Scottish winter waiting for their other half to surface from the depths, would be most people””s idea of hell, but Julie””s manages to convince everyone she””s having a good time. I think she””s only there as she knows how much life insurance I have!
Some of you might know my pet name for Julie, I call her "my princess" and I honestly cannot think of a more befitting title today, you look beautiful and I felt a very privileged man to see you walking down the isle today and standing next to me.
I love Julie very much and I'm glad all of you are here today to witness us take our vows. The ceremony itself may well have been short, but the commitment to each other we made today will carry us for the rest of our lives.
A good friend of mine, told me a while back "Don't just marry a person you can live with, only marry the person you cannot live without" That is a very fitting way of describing how I feel about Julie.
So I really have only two toasts, one to my beautiful new wife The NEW Mrs. Julie Goss and a second to all of you for coming to celebrate with us today, to everyone here!
I need to thank the brides maids for looking after Julie this morning, if she was half as nervous as I was, then will have needed all of them just to get her on her feet. And thank you to my best man, Charlie for making sure I turned up on time this morning and for helping to organise everyone in the right place at the right time.
Charlie has been a good friend of mine for at least the last ten years now. He may regard me as better friend, as I introduced him to a woman who has agreed to become his wife later in the year. So we look forward to that. I'm also hoping that kind words towards him will mean he finds it difficult to saying anything bad about me!
Anyway, I trust that you all feel suitably fed and watered, and are looking forward to a night of merriment, embarrassing photos and bad dancing. I know I am. And for anyone that needs an example of bad dancing, just see my Uncle Nigel. I'm sure he'll be doing demonstrations later!
Now all that remains, is for me to say enjoy the rest of the day.
Over to Charlie to make an even bigger fool of me.
