Speech by Andrew Hearn

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Andrew Hearn
Speech Date: 21/08/2011 17:33:56

On behalf of my wife and I, thank you all for joining us today to celebrate our marriage!

It's a privilege to be in the company of so many people that are important in our lives and we're delighted to welcome you here to share our special day with us. It's great to see you all and I can honestly say it would not have been the same without you.

When I saw Sandra in her wedding dress for the first time today I was absolutely speechless. Unfortunately I am no longer speechless so you guys will have to put up with me talking for the next 10 minutes!

Now can I just say Sandra thought I was getting emotional about this speech the other night. All I will say is she wasn't the one reading it. Events like today don't just happen. We have been planning this wedding for some time now. Well, I say “we”, Sandra actually did most of the work, as one of the best things about being a man is that weddings seem to organise themselves. So to Sandra and everyone else who has helped organise today I would like to say a big thank you.

Firstly to Alison for making the cake I'm sure you will all agree that it looks lovely and we can't wait to taste it. Secondly to Trudy and Keith for coming in early to do the chair covers. Thirdly to Flora for the lovely array of beautiful flowers I know you worked all day yesterday to get them this perfect.

On behalf of my wife and I, we would now like to thank my parents and May as we wouldn't be where we are today if it wasn't for them. If we can become half the parents they are to us then I'm sure we won't go far wrong. May Thank you for bringing Sandra up to become the woman that I have married today. I love Sandra with all of my heart and will do everything I can to continue to make her happy. As a token of our appreciation please accept these flowers.

To my Mum and Dad, A special thank you for all your love and support over the years. You've always been there when I've needed you. You've got me through thick and thin. I feel extremely lucky to have such wonderful parents. You have both taught me so much and have always encouraged me to make the most of every opportunity I have had. It must be very hard to come to terms with the fact you have raised such a perfect son. As a token of our appreciation please accept these flowers.

At this point I would also like to thank Sandra's bother Gary for giving Sandra away. Some may have thought he was nervous, some thought they saw him in the bar 4 hours ago. However I can tell you his funny walk is down to a heavily strapped ankle, sprained on Wednesday.

That leads me on to the star of the day, my gorgeous new wife Sandra – I can't even begin to tell you how absolutely-stunningly gorgeous you look today. When I saw you coming up the isle I realised how lucky I am, looked at myself and realised that it is definitely me getting the best of this deal. Sandra, I love you in so many ways and for so many reasons, you know me and understand me like no one else ever could, you have a way of bringing out the very best in me, but mostly because you're my very best friend, my soul mate. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for marrying me and making me the happiest man alive and for loving me as much as I love you. I know this is the start of many more happy years together.

Sandra,… I with all my love, give you this gift. A gift for us, a gift to help us in our now married life. Now due to Sandra's nails I call on my best man for assistance. Andy will you help by opening this loving gift on behalf of Sandra? I must say that a great deal of research went into it. Research with married couples was done, people who are single asked, I even approached people who are divorced just so this gift is perfect…….… So first we have a saucepan. Now before you hit me with it. Your mother has kindly bought us some very special saucepans and rather than burn them (not that u would dear) practice makes perfect. Second we have some rubber gloves, No she doesn't have a fetish for rubber. I was told that a lot of washing up can damage your hands, so being a considerate husband I wanted to help. Third an apron. Now I was cautious about this suggestion but when you look at all the facts I feel you, like me will agree its brilliant. Look at Sandra, she is beautiful. To compliment her beauty she will need quality clothes…..ahhhh you see it now don't you. Why ruin the new clothes with bleach and cooking fat when an apron can protect them.… I see all u men thinking, how considerate these gifts are.

Can I let you into a little secret Tesco's has them all on the upper floor, sneak up stairs while “her indoors” does the weekly shop.

Fourth a pack of dusters, these can be used to blow away any cobwebs that may develop later in life Fifth is now for her time….… a time to unwind a time to relax after a hard days work. A cucumber….… No no no not to be eaten, it's for her eyes it goes with the face pack. Sixth is a rolling pin not sure about this one (a female suggested this) had she read this speech I wonder? It's the smallest I could find, just to be on the safe side. Seventh is some headache tablets (well we all know why they are in there. the divorcee suggested it)

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding, for the most important toast I'm ever likely to make, TO MY WIFE, MY BRIDE, TO SANDRA. Tradition now dictates that I now tell you an amusing story or two about Sandra. However, “her indoors” as I shall now be calling her, dictates that I do no such thing. But I will say this. We will have been together for 11 years and in that time I've learned a very valuable lesson.

Whenever I'm Wrong – Admit It!! Whenever I'm Right – Keep Quiet!! And if you believe that you'll believe anything. Alison can I just say out of all the Maid of honours I have met, you're the best. You look $999,000, A million looks like this being next to me; I know you have helped so much over the past few weeks. You took her to Cardiff, Sandra came back so happy from that trip. However since then instead of “Goodnight my dear love you” all she says now is baaaaa. Denise your welsh can you translate?? I would also like to thank you for organising such a fantastic Hen Do for Sandra, especially as organising all her friends can be a bit like herding headless chickens. Please accept this gift from us as a thank you.

To our bridesmaids, Louise and Alice wow!!!! I am so proud of you. I'm sure everyone will agree that you both look stunning today you have both grown up to be Beautiful radiant young ladies… Probably that's down to my genes. Thank you for your help and for being there for my new wife today. We would like to present this gift to both of you as a memento of our wedding day.

I'd like to ask everyone to raise your glasses and join me in a toast “The Maid of Honour &The bridesmaids.” Finally To my best man.; I couldn't have asked more from you. Last week he told me he was more nervous than me, so please feel free to heckle him during his speech and don't believe a word he says. But before I handover to Andy, I personally, would like to thank you for agreeing to be my best man and say a few words about you.

Andy and I have been friends for over 12 years. I have seen a massive change in Andy as he goes through middle age; he just keeps getting better and better as each year passes. He is the type of guy who would come out in the middle of the night to help a friend, if only you could wake him. Whilst writing my speech I thought about what is meant by the word “friend”. Turning to the dictionary a friend is defined as someone to whom you are attached through affection and esteem, who is a favoured companion, a supporter and an ally. After checking that I hadn't looked up the wrong word by mistake, I concluded that Andy was indeed a true friend.

That's enough from me I would like to thank you all once again and hope you have a great evening It now gives me great pleasure to hand over to Andy.