Speech by Andy Arnold

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Andy Arnold
Speech Date: 19/09/2012 13:59:59

Distinguished guests, guests of no particular distinction, relatives young and old, friends, freeloaders, hangers on, gypsies, tramps, thieves and anyone else who may have wandered in, you are all about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. However, it is a privilege and an honour to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let Carolyn down, either now or during the first dance, for which we've taken quite a few lessons to try and overcome my two left feet – if you look carefully, as dainty as her wedding shoes look, they are in-fact safety shoes with steel toecaps in them!!

My speech this evening will, hopefully, be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold attention! Before I start, there will be a few toasts over the next 45 minutes, no joking only 10 minutes maximum, so please make sure that your glasses are charged, not joking.

Firstly, we'd like to thank Gerry for his kind words and good wishes.

I'm going to drop in a few facts and definitions throughout the speech – on this day in:

1492 – Christopher Columbus set sail from Spain to the ‘new World’ – Canada and Carolyn are a new world for me!

Wedding Definition – The word Wedding literally meant the purchase of a bride for breeding purposes – well between us I think we have produced a fine collection of offspring, so no more for us, but it's fun practising!

It's wonderful to see so many of our family and friends here today to help us celebrate this happy day. I know that some of you have travelled an extremely long way to be here and that means a lot to us. In advance, thank you all for your very generous gifts which Carolyn and I look forward to opening later.

Unfortunately, as you have heard from Jill's readings, it's not been possible to have everyone we love here with us today.  The very nature of my career and life in the Navy means that I have friends spread around the world, from UK to Belgium, to Spain, to New Zealand and Australia and back, but it also that means we have plenty of places to stay with friends when Carolyn and I travel.  But they're here with us in spirit and they're in our thoughts today. So, with them in mind, would you please all stand, raise your glasses, and join me in a toast to absent family & friends.

(To absent family and friends)

This fact is quite relevant to Gerry (and possibly to all subscribers to this company!) – on this day in:

1876 – Alexander Graham Bell makes the world's first telephone call, here in Canada (Mount Pleasant, nr Brantford) and I know that Gerry worked for Bell for many years before retiring and become snowbirds – a lifestyle that Carolyn and I aspire to!

Wedding definition – The origin of the bride standing on the left goes back to the days when the groom would capture his bride by kidnapping her. If the groom had to fight off other suitors, the groom would hold his bride-to-be with his left hand allowing his right hand to be free to use his sword. Well I certainly didn't need to kidnap Carolyn and I didn't notice any suitors today, but as you can see on the cake table, I do have my Royal Navy sword with me – just in case, and I am right handed!

I'd also like to sincerely thank Carolyn's mum and dad, Gerry and Norma, for welcoming me so warmly into the family. Her brothers Barry and Craig, too, have never made me feel anything other than welcome and I thank them for that.

It can be very difficult when two families come together but we have been extremely lucky. Carolyn's children, Cameron, Nicholas, Erica, Andrew and Brody, have all welcomed me into their family and my children, Vikki and Sophia, have also been welcomed by Carolyn and her children over these past couple of weeks and last year.  We know that we won't be a fully blended family, but for all the children Carolyn and I consider you all part of this new family, no matter where you may be in the future and there will always be room for you.

There is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states that nobody should look more handsome than the groom and I'd like to thank “the boys” for sticking to that rule to the letter – actually ladies & gentlemen don't you think the boys look good?   The Ring bearer is a weight of responsibility for one so young, but I think I'm right in saying that Brody carried out that particular responsibility with ease, well done Brody.

Apart from my wife, that sounds so good, there are three other beautiful ladies here today. Carolyn's daughter Erica and my daughters, Vikki and Sophia. We'd like to thank them very much for being such wonderful bridesmaids. So, please stand and join me in a toast to the boys and bridesmaids.

(To the boys and bridesmaids!)

On this day in:

1951 – Marcel Dionne was born – Canadian Hockey Player – Detroit Red Wings, LA kings, NY Rangers and Team Canada 72-86

Wedding definition – Honeymoon – After the successful capture of the bride, was “the hiding” (Honeymoon), and by the time the bride's family would find them, the bride would already be pregnant – Gerry, Norma – no need to worry – I've been done!

Wedding definition – The wedding ring was, thought to be used by Barbarians to tether the bride to her captor's home – Darling, I don't think we need to consider that course of action do you?

Finally, I would like to thank my wife I think I'm going to enjoy getting used to saying that – for agreeing to marry me and for making me so happy. I think you'll agree that she looks stunningly gorgeous today and when she walked up the aisle, she just took my breath away.

Now if I had to single out one thing about why I love Carolyn so much, it would be the fact that she makes me happier than I ever dreamed I could be. I know that Carolyn has put a huge amount of effort into making today perfect and I think that she has done that, and more. Having lived with Carolyn for a couple of years now, I have learned a valuable lesson – when I'm wrong, admit it. When I'm right, keep quiet!  Seriously though, I wanted to re-iterate my wedding vows and I want Carolyn to know that my love for her will last a lifetime and beyond.  I love to give her flowers when I can, not just on special occasions like today or birthdays, but also just to brighten her day and say and show how much I love her – so to symbolize the enduring nature of my love for her, I thought this would be a beautiful reminder that she can view whenever she wants!  A perfect rose, dipped in gold, that will look beautiful forever, just like my ‘gorgeous Canadian gal’. Carolyn, I love you so much and I can't wait to grow old with you, and open those ‘love letters’ every 10 years! Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and raise your glasses to my beautiful wife, Carolyn.

 (To Carolyn!)

Carolyn and I will now cut the cake, so please if you wish to take photographs please do so and then tables will be re-arranged for the dancing to begin!  Thank you!